Sunday, March 31, 2013

Happy Easter


What's in your basket?

I hope E. B. left you a basketful of goodies.
(make mine chocolate)

Even husbands get baskets.
PaulA
found a 
tape measure in his basket -
heavy duty
25 ft. 
self-locking
high-vis 
 dark blue 
E. B. went all out.
(not sure why he didn't look more excited.)


Anywhooooo…..


I remember an Easter...
back in the day...
when was just a kitten
(not this ole alley Kat.)
 E.B. brought me the best basket ever.

Nestled in the green plastic grass...

I found

candy, 
jelly beans,

candy cigarettes,



 and a pen in the shape of a cigar.  



To me...
there was nothin' better than a
“Jr. Smoker’s Easter Basket.”
(This kitten purred with happiness.) 
I loved doing my homework with my cigar pen,
while smoking my candy cigarettes...
very relaxing.



I hope your Easter was as smokin’
as mine was...
back in the day.

Hoppy Easter


Thursday, March 28, 2013

Getting the Last Laugh


"They" say laughter is the best medicine
and I agree…
except when laughter 
gets you a fine or 
lands you in jail.
That just isn't funny.

There is a 42 year old man from Long Island 
who was charged for 
"disturbing the peace" 
because of laughing...
in his own home. 
He could get fined 500 dollars or get 30 days in jail.

He admits he frequently breaks out into laughter 
from his bathroom window 



or 
as he calls it... 
a "hardy giggle."
(weirdo alert)

His laughter was making his neighbor mad
in many ways,
 so the neighbor called the cops.  

The cops have been called different times 
throughout the years...
so there is probably more going on between them.
There's probably a score to settle
or old grudges festering 
over things like...

not returning a chain saw,
the backyard chicken coop,
 loud music late at night
(but enough about how I irritate the neighbors.)

It will be interesting to see who gets the 
last laugh.


Anywhoooo….


I admit it….
I, too, have gotten "in trouble" for laughing, 
but thank goodness...
no fine or time for me.

When I was in college, 
my friend who lived next door in the dorm 
frequently complained about my laughing. 

It's not like I was laughing 
for no apparent reason.
I had good reason…his name was PaulA.  
PaulA always had me in stitches whenever he visited.   
(btw-I still have that white with blue gauze shirt.)

I had no idea how she could hear me laughing 
through the walls.  
The dorm room walls were as thick and solid as 
those of a prison cell. 
Apparently my laughter could permeate concrete.


Now that I think about it…
it's really funny ...
how much my laughter bugged her.

Wait,
now I'm cracking myself up.



I love getting the 
last laugh.

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Dustin Lynch - Colin on Jimmy Kimmel Live


Well I did it.  

This Kat stayed awake 
 to watch 
Jimmy Kimmel Live


11:35pm - 12:37am.

I'm not usually up late 
watching television…
ala a late night owl  
or slinking around 
ala an alley Kat...

but
there wasn't 
"a Kat in hell's chance"
(huh? weird expression)
that I was going to miss seeing 
Colin play with Dustin Lynch 
on Jimmy Kimmel last night.

My excitement for them 
probably helped to keep
 my eyelids open
And... 
the Katnap that I took around 10:30pm 
didn't hurt.


Anywhoooo…..


I could have easily watched the videos
  of their performance today, 
and not missed any much needed beauty sleep,
but watching it last night
in the moment 
was soooo much fun.


Great show, guys.




Colin, I'll always be your #1 Fan.

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Happy 7th Twitterversary



Today is the 7th anniversary 
of the first 
Tweet.

Co-founder Jack Dorsey 
(wish I was the other founder) 
sent the first tweet which read, 
 "just setting up my twttr."

I might have gone with:
  "Twitter is gonna make us rich, RICH, RICH." 



I remember 
Alexander Graham Bells' first words  
on his
telephone call 
to his assistant, Thomas Watson 
137 years ago... 
(Not that I was born 137 years ago. 
I was born the year after.)

"Mr. Watson-come here-I want to see you." 

ummm...I'm thinking that lacked pizzaz.

I'm liking
"yo yo Wat, wassup-get back here"
so much better.


Anywhooooo……..

Now words like 
Twitter, 
tweet, 
re-tweet and 
hashtag 
have become a part of our vocab.
(They might even be on school spelling lists.)
#absurdcomment

So....
In honor of Twitter's 7th Twitterversary…
I am posting 

My Twitter Tongue Twister

Twanda Twain tweeted a twit of twittered tweets.
A twit of twittered tweets Twanda Twain tweeted.
If Twanda Twain tweeted a twit of twittered tweets
How many tweets of twitter did Twanda Twain Tweet?

#TKatTweetsyou

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

First Day of Spring?

My calendar is saying that 
today is 
the first day of 
SPRING....

BUT

my backyard is saying



"NOT SO FAST."


Anywhooo....


I think we need to fire
Punxsutawney Phil.

That rodent
had my hopes up for an early spring...
and he didn't deliver.


I'm sure there is another species 
 that could do a better job...

ze Kat, maybe?

Happy First Day of Spring


Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Hostess with the Most-est


Hostess lovers can relax...
Twinkies, Ding Dongs, and Ho Ho's  
live to see another shelf 
life…
which by some calculations  is at least 60 years.

Four months ago,
Hostess
(after facing a Host ess of problems)
was forced to
shut down its production 


which caused massive
Twinkie Hoarding.

you're gonna need a bigger cubicle.


But alas...
Twinkie Lovers Rejoice.
The company that bought
Pabst Blue Ribbon beer
has also bought
Hostess.



Nothing like a PBR to wash down a Ho Ho.

PBR and a Ho Ho...

sure will give new meaning to 
"Hostess with the most-est"



Anywhooo….

You wouldn't find me hoarding a Twinkie.
There is another 
snack that takes my cake.

I have an ultra affinity 
for the Devil Dog...


which goes back to my elementary school days.  

I frequently found the little devil 
rolling around the bottom of my brown-bag lunch.  
Thank you mom.

Each creme-filled chocolately dog provided me 
with all the daily vitamins 
that have helped me to grow into this 
human-blogger-being 
that I am.

Woah, wait a minute...
something just occurred to me...
the answer to why I blog.

I have asked myself "Why" 
for a few years now
and today the answer comes to me...

"The Devil made me do it."

Viva la Devil Dog

Friday, March 15, 2013

Hello, Anybody home?


The home phone
is becoming a dinosaur...
"The Telephonosaurus"

and we don't have the ice age or asteroids
 to blame on it's extinction.

Now we all own 
cell phones 
that ring
Bruce…Beiber…or...Beyonce tunes 
in our pockets or purses.

I remember back in the day
when our phone at home would ring 
and we'd jump to answer it…

had to know who was on the other end. 

And if it wasn't for you,
 you'd yell 
"SO-AND-SO, TELEPHONE."
(hey, who ya calling a so-and-so?) 

Then you'd stretch the cord as far as it could go 
to get another 4 inches of privacy.


And whenever you heard:
“IT’S LONG DISTANCE"
 you'd break your neck or stub your toe
 to get to the phone ASAP.   
With long distance calls there was no dilly dallying.
  Extra tick tocks on the clock were costly.

I didn't get long distance calls…
until I met my boyfriend, (turned husband) 
PaulA.  
Nothing was more exciting than hearing: 
"KAT, TELEPHONE.  
IT'S LONG DISTANCE."

  Knowing that PaulA was breathing on the other end 
(okay, not scary heavy breathing) 
I'd drop whatever I was doing, 
run through the house, 
jump over the dog,
 and grab the phone.  


Our home phone rarely rings these days.
I would venture to say, that is the case in most households.  
And usually the person calling your home phone
 is someone you'd rather not hear from,
 let alone break anything for.   
Let it ring.


Anywhoooo……


I also remember calling home from college…
which meant using the pay phone 
on our dorm floor.  

One phone was shared by 
30 girls on the same 
"call home on Sunday" schedule.

We would all have to wait and take turns, 
and wait some more…

It's sounds crazy when I think about it now.


And when it was my turn... 



I found a way to settle in.