MythBusters

I watched the show MythBusters on the Discovery Channel for the first time. Have you seen it? Each episode takes a popular belief, internet rumor, or other myth, and tries to prove or disprove it using science.

The episode I watched focused on the myth that “the more you drink, the better-looking the opposite sex will become.” The theory seemed like a no-brainer…like a DUH to prove. Alcohol has a tendency to act as rose-colored glasses, so you won’t be as critical. Of course, your standards would be lowered…right down to the basement level…next to the dusty holiday decortions. But I thought the actual test to prove the “DUH myth” made for compelling, must-see TV. So I stayed tuned.

The test: 2 men and 1 woman were asked to rate pictures of the opposite sex from 1-10 and then come up with a total number score. They rated pictures of faces three different times…sober, buzzed, and blasted.

Guess what? The MythBusters proved what we all know. After enough drinks circulating in your veins…even Roseanne Barr will look good. It was a fun experiment to watch as the participants raised their level of alcohol…with every raised glass. “Hey Bartender, bring me another cosmo….I’ve got something to prove. Hiccup. I think.”

Anywho……………….

I remember back in the day when I was a lab rat/kat involved in scientific experiments. I was the actual “subject” in experiments in the Psychology Department at UVM. Not that I was a head case…but I volunteered my psyche to the study of the human mind…and to make some fast cash.

PaulA and one of his buddies also believed in contributing to the advancement of science…so they too signed up for psyche experiments. No surprise…their particular experiments involved alcohol. In the name of science...they enjoyed a double bonus….Bucks and a Buzz.

I wonder if UVM still uses students as human guinea pigs in their psychology experiments. Not that I felt like a guinea, or a pig…I eagerly volunteered to take part in those experiments. Besides…I am a benevolent and altruistic person and believe in helping mankind. Plus I didn’t know of a quicker and easier way to pick up some extra bucks for pizza.

I did draw the line, however, when the experimenters suggested hooking electrodes up to my head. Contrary to a popular myth on campus…No large, pepperoni, extra cheese, pizza was worth shock therapy to my head.

Chocoholics

Can’t control your chocolate cravings? Hiding a little choco stash from yourself (and others?) Find yourself sneaking back to your stash of sweet confections?

I’m afraid YOU may be a CHOCOHOLIC.

Hey, if Tiger can be addicted to sex, then people can be addicted to chocolate. Like Tiger...Chocoholics can’t control their cravings. Although, Tiger’s cravings were more skanky…than sweet.

Anywho………

There is a new product on the market to control these cravings. It’s called Le Whif - chocolate flavored AIR. (The Harvard professor who invented Le Whif is currently laughing his way to a Swiss chocolate bank.)

Le Whif comes in a plastic tube that you place in your nose and inhale. The essence of chocolate is supposed to control your cravings. There is no guilt because there are no calories. So go ahead…make your day… inhale away.

The particles in Le Whif are said to be small enough so they won’t enter your lungs and do harm. Okay, that may be true…but I think other risks could be associated with Le Whif. Le Whiffing could EASILY become habit forming.

Prolonged use…could leave Whif users wanting more to reach chocolate ecstasy. Users could become abusers and look for other means to get their chocolate fix. I wonder if that Harvard professor is working on a chocolate injection. (Note to self: Beat Harvard prof to a patent.)

Increased whiffing could lead to damage to the membranes of your nostrils…eventually destroying your entire nose. Whiffing abusers would be easy to spot. Le Whif could also lead to unsafe health practices. A Le Whif user should never, ever share their tube with another user.

Le Whif reminds me of the Vicks Nasal plastic tubes we had around the house when I was growing up. I used to stick those suckers up my nose for breathing relief whenever I was congested from a cold. Ahhh…. I became addicted to the menthol. I had to swear-off Vicks Nasal tubes forever. I was one nostril away from a total blow-out. Luckily I moved on to the less invasive Vicks Body Rub.

Hold on….light bulb moment. Maybe that is what the Harvard professor should invent next… a chocolate rub. Le Rub. Just rub the chocolate contents all over your body. It should come with a warning. Caution: Product may stain clothing. So go ahead…make your day…rub away.

Art Buff

Are you an art buff? Maybe an art history buff? Or just prefer art in the buff?

I enjoy art and have been to a few wonderful museums in some major cities…NYC, Chicago, and Boston. And also the Mama Mia of all locations….museums in Italy…Rome, Florence, and Venice.

If you prefer really old art...there’s nothing better than Italian museums. If you prefer art in the buff…you can’t complain either….plenty of naked statutes in Italy. If I must expose the naked truth…you can barely move without a barely clothed statue that is very easily seen with the naked eye.

Take the David for example…Michelangelo’s amazing marble sculpture located in the Galleria Dell’Accademia, Florence. It takes your breath away when you stand next to it….good for the art buff…and equally good for the lover of art in the buff. No fig leaves attached.

Everyone interprets art differently. I remember taking a tour in Florence and the guide explaining the symbolism in different paintings. I think some paintings are easy to explain. A still life of a basket of fruit means…there was nothing better to paint that day…the naked models had the day off.

For hundreds of years people have had their opinion of what Mona Lisa’s smile represents. We really don’t know. And those who say they know what her smile is about…I’m just not buying it. Plus I hear it's not For Sale. Personally I believe Mona Lisa was framed…and her smile is really a smirk… which means she’s hiding a dirty little secret. But then my other educated opinion is that she has allowed a gas bubble to escape…and Mona’s not owning up to it.

Anywho……..

Whatever your preference for art…I would suggest a trip to your nearest museum and support the arts….buff or no buff. Fig leaf or no fig leaf.

Yes Yes Yes

Tiger had YesMen. Michael Jackson had YesMen. Lindsay Lohan had YesMen/Women. When you’re at the top…there are people who want to get into your inner circle and stay there…pitch a tent and camp out. They will say whatever it is you want to hear…just so you don’t make them pull up stakes. They will…yes, yes, yes…you to death (sort of speak.)

YesMen can get a person in a lot of trouble. The people being yessed start thinking they are above reproach and everyone else is just a roach…easily crushed. This can lead to major crash and burn problems…as we have seen with many celebrities, politicians, and celebretians.

To prevent developing a serious case of "Inflated Egoitis"...it is very important to have people around you who will tell you the truth and not just agree to everything. That is why God invented Democrats and Republicans….checks and balances. The last thing they do for each other is say “Yes.”

Usually the people who are the most honest with you are your family. They are the ones to keep you in your place. John Mayer’s father has been quoted as saying, “John, if you were not my son, I wouldn’t have heard of you.” Well, I’m not sure what planet John Mayer’s father lives on…apparently it isn’t Earth…but I do like his no nonsense attitude with his son to keep John grounded.

Yes…the fam is usually who you can count on to keep it real. I have brutally honest sisters…Sistersledge and Sistersludge. Those two bookends make sure this Kat doesn’t rest on her past blog laurels. They will keep me in check and say: “Kat, that last blog you posted…well………kinda BOOOOOOOOORING.”

No 'Yessing' going on over in my camp. But if they ever want to go camping with me….they better start saying “yes, Kat”… from now on.

Tanning Coffins

As we all know, President Obama recently signed the Health Care Bill into law. A major bill of over 2,000 pages…major Bill in scope and major Bill in cost. To pay for health care reform Americans will have to cough up 940 billion dollars. The pricey sum is turning a few of us a sickly green wondering, “Whose hide is it gonna come from?”


One brilliant bulb idea already incorporated into the bill is to tax the tanning industry…to impose a 10% tax on tanning salon customers. They say it will generate 2.7 billion dollars over 10 years. I say, "why not?" The bucks have to come out of someone’s hide…even the tanned and leathered. But this has got the tanning industry heated up.

Some people are outraged and feel unjustly targeted with the tanning tax…saying that it could hurt business. But can it really do any more damage than UV light from tanning beds? “Indoor tanning, before the age of 35, is linked to a 75% increase in the risk of melanoma. The U.S. currently spends about $1.8 billion on treating skin cancers each year and $300 million on melanoma alone.” (I love Google for stats to make my point.) Wouldn’t fewer tanning bed customers help to reduce the future costs of treating skin cancers?

The average customer pays between 15 and 20 dollars per visit of 200 -400 nanometers of UV light. Hey mon, I say it’s still cheaper than getting on a plane to Cabo. Quit complaining mon. You’ve made your tanning bed, now lie in it…if you must.

I’ve actually been in a tanning coffin…many years ago before taking a vacation. Okay, I know it is called a ‘tanning bed’, but when the lid was closed….I couldn’t help thinking I was being permanently laid to rest. I don’t think a ‘bed’ accurately describes the look. My bed doesn’t have a lid on it…does yours? But I do understand that a Tanning Salon business advertising “Tanning coffins”…might find their business bottom line buried with no light in sight.

Anywho………….

The original Health Care Bill also included a tax on Botox injections…cutely referred to as “The Botax.” But the tax on Botox got blocked…in the same way Botox blocks any emotion from your face. Probably half of the Senators were unhappy with adding a Botox tax…but you would have never known by their expression.

The upside of the tanning tax is that …the new 10% tax will NOT apply to spray-on tans…OR sunless tanning lotions………the downside of the tax is that…we are now destined to see a lot more orange people walking around.

H2O Pure and Simple

“Would you prefer bottled, still, tap, mineral, vegetable, gas, no-gas?” Your H20 preference is your first decision when you are out for dinner. The next is alcohol preference…double, triple, up, down, rocks, no rocks?

When I dine out, I always choose tap water…no-gas. Tap…because it’s tasty and FREE. No-gas…because we all have enough natural gas already. I suppose if I was in Mexico, it would be a different story. I’d want bottled water with-gas. Bottled…because mucho germ warfare south of the border. And with-gas…because you gotta keep the bandidos away. Nothing like gas warfare as a good defense.

Bottled water has become the rage because it’s very handasy (new word I made up…handy + easy) to take with you on the field, court, course, and in your purse when you’re sneaking it into the movie theatre.

But where does bottled water come from and what makes it so special? If you have a thirst for this information…keep reading.

Believe it or not…Poland Spring does originate from underground water sources in Maine. Other bottled waters…believe it or not…come from municipal water sources…where they take regular tap water and run it through a filter system. That would be Aquafina and Dasani…not exactly the glacier and crystal clear mountain springs we naturally think of. (Never end a sentence with a preposition, Wishy.) There are some bottled waters, however, that don’t even bother with filters…they’re just tap, straight-up. You could be drinking Cleveland’s Finest.

Anywho……

Does bottled water really taste better than tap? If you lined them up and performed a taste test…I think you wouldn’t be able to tell the bottled from the tap. I hear a taste test of tap water from NYC beat out most bottled. Water-on-tap from NYC might be considered the Dom of Waters...but Guinness-on-tap is, by far, my favorite.

Some folks will buy a particular brand of water over another for status and sport it around the soccer field. Who decided FIJI Water has more cachet than the Stop and Shop brand I bought on sale last week?

I realize plastic packaging from bottles harms the environment, so we should probably limit our consumption. But let’s not limit all bottled waters. Especially water cooler bottles. Otherwise, where would office employees hang out and waste valuable company time…and most importantly, how would we keep the rumor mill churning?

April D' First

After posting 587 blogs over two and a half years, I’ve decided to pack it in, pull the plug, close-up shop. “IT’S ABOUT TIME. SAY IT’S FINALLY SO.”

I know what you’re thinking, “Sure you are, Kat. Today is April D' First…you’re trying to play us like fools, with a (lame) April Fool’s prank…ha ha.” Actually I was thinking, “What better day than April Fool’s Day to stop the foolishness and end the madness of this blog, but on a day that honors fools?”

After much soul searching, when I actually prefer salmon, I’ve begun to question the amount of time and attention I’ve given to this blog. Precious time I have squandered away, when I could have been doing something more productive...like putting my Advanced Degree in Macrobatteryology to good use. I could have been working on my invention for a lap top battery that holds power longer than the usual 15 minutes.

Anywho……..


Every now and then, I feel it is important to take stock of how I am spending my time….and to make assessments as to whose benefit this blog is really benefitting. I do admit, however, that I get enjoyment from writing this blog…no matter how foolish…or tongue-in-cheek. And it does give me a voice…although it is scratchy at times. But I’ve reached the conclusion that there is something else out there I need to conquer…a new territory…a new frontier…somewhere around Schenectady.

Have you ever realize how hard it is to bite your tongue when talking tongue-in-cheek?

So if you don’t believe my admission of an impending blog cessation, and think this is just a hoax…and that I could be showering you with an April Fool’s joke…I challenge you to check back tomorrow to see if I’m still wasting my time, blogging my face off. I just DARE you to log on tomorrow to see if I’m still blogging..................................PLEEEEEEEEEASE…..I dare you.