Mannequin attack

Okay, I have reached a new low. While shopping, I attacked a mannequin. It just started so innocently…I am in the Gap at the Taj MaMall and I spy this little tank top on a mannequin that would be perfect with something I already bought (shhh… it’s a secret.) I look through the rack for “size S”…darn, no smalls. I am not giving up…

I decide to check the size on the half mannequin girl (her bottom half is probably in GAP pants) SaWeet, she’s wearing a “size S.” Hmmm…What to do? I have to get the tank top off her…right here and now, while no one is looking. Heck, mannequin girl won’t miss it…she’s not going anywhere. It won’t be that difficult.

In order to get to the tank top, I have to first pull off the sweatshirt she’s wearing. So I stand on my tippy toes reaching ‘cause they have mannequin girl high on a shelf…I pull the sweatshirt down one arm and then down the other arm…not so easy. Then I struggle to get the sweatshirt over her hands which are together in some ridiculous pose behind her. Okay, step one accomplished. No one noticed me maul mannequin girl. That was harder than I thought it would be….

Now for the tank top…this should be easier…wrong! I pull one strap down, then the other strap down, and manage to get it over those darn hands. Then it’s impossible to slide the tank top off the bottom ‘cause they have her attached to a big stand. Now I have to pull it back up her arms and over her head…and I can hardly reach the darn thing. So I look around (nope, no one is looking)…

I take Miss Mannequin down and put her on the floor. I start pulling and yanking on the tank top and then she falls over. I am in a full out wrestle with the mannequin. (She seems to be taking all this personally.) I can’t get the tank top over her head.

Bingo…new idea…I take another look around (gee, still nobody looking.) I decide that I have to take mannequin girl off the stand, so I can slip the tank top off from the bottom. With all my might on 1, 2, 3… I pull her body off the stand with both my hands and my feet. Yaaaaa…she’s free… now I am free…to take the tank top. Mission Accomplished.

Now the poor girl is exposed. I throw a sweatshirt at mannequin girl… “OMG, you’re indecent…cover yourself up!”