This Saturday Brianna and other high school juniors around the nation will be taking the SAT test. You know the test, the one that everyone says is so important… Your whole high school performance is reduced to a number stamped on your forehead…designed to separate the good, the bad and the ugly. The line for bottle washers at the city morgue starts over here…line for people going places over there.
I remember when Colinboy was leaving the house to take the SAT. The last thing PaulA said to him was, “Do you know what enigma means because enigma was on my test.” Colin was excited when he got home, “Enigma was on the test! I know I got one right.”
It is a good thing I don’t have to take the SAT. I would find it very difficult. The math section would be a joke …especially word problems about trains leaving the train station at the same time and going in different directions. Come on. Those trains must be at least 50 years old by now and should be taken off the tracks. Vocabulary…not my specialty either. Where do they dig up these words…people use the word loquacious? As for writing and proper grammar rules…yikes. Take this blog for instance. I make up my own ways to punctuate sentences. With dot, dot, dot…and spellchecker…I’m golden.
So to Sweet Wishy and all the great kids out there taking the SAT…good luck ‘cause you are going to need it. Don’t let the fact, that if you don’t do well …you might be destined to a life as a suburban hack blogger with bad grammar and math skills… make you nervous. Take a deep breath, relax and think enigma.
To help you with the word “enigma”…I’ve used it in a sentence: It is an enigma why Kat likes to blog on random subjects.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Piece of Britney
I actually feel sorry for Britney Spears. Before she ended up on a couch in a pysch ward, I thought she was getting what she deserved with all the bad press. But my feelings have changed. As a mother, I feel badly for her…Now I see her more as a hurt, lost soul.
Months ago, I saw a video online of Britney getting into her car. She was out for a regular day, not all glammed up, just wearing sweat pants…okay, more like Juicy sweats…but not glammed. There were at least 50 photographers surrounding her …some of them were a foot from her face. I felt sick watching how they invaded her privacy with their high-powered cameras and taunting comments. Britney has been in the limelight her entire life. Do we really expect her to be normal with this circus going on around her 24/7? After all, the elephants in the circus aren’t normal.
While Britney sits in a psych ward, her new song “Piece of Me” is No. 10 on the charts. I actually like it… basically describing what it’s like when everyone wants a piece of you.
If Britney Spears walked by me right now, I swear I would not hound her. The closest I ever came to stalking a celebrity was at Whiskey Park in New York City when we saw Nicolas Cage. He was sitting on a couch, surrounded by his goons (aka entourage). After his limo pulled up outside, Nick and his possey got up and left the bar. So what do I do? I immediately run over to the couch where he had been sitting and park my butt in his warm spot. No harm in warming my buns in his warm spot, is there?
My hope for Britney is that she lifts herself up by her high-heeled boot straps and the world gives her some space. It might be okay that you jump to sit in her warm spot ...but please leave her alone…so she stays off the couch.
Months ago, I saw a video online of Britney getting into her car. She was out for a regular day, not all glammed up, just wearing sweat pants…okay, more like Juicy sweats…but not glammed. There were at least 50 photographers surrounding her …some of them were a foot from her face. I felt sick watching how they invaded her privacy with their high-powered cameras and taunting comments. Britney has been in the limelight her entire life. Do we really expect her to be normal with this circus going on around her 24/7? After all, the elephants in the circus aren’t normal.
While Britney sits in a psych ward, her new song “Piece of Me” is No. 10 on the charts. I actually like it… basically describing what it’s like when everyone wants a piece of you.
If Britney Spears walked by me right now, I swear I would not hound her. The closest I ever came to stalking a celebrity was at Whiskey Park in New York City when we saw Nicolas Cage. He was sitting on a couch, surrounded by his goons (aka entourage). After his limo pulled up outside, Nick and his possey got up and left the bar. So what do I do? I immediately run over to the couch where he had been sitting and park my butt in his warm spot. No harm in warming my buns in his warm spot, is there?
My hope for Britney is that she lifts herself up by her high-heeled boot straps and the world gives her some space. It might be okay that you jump to sit in her warm spot ...but please leave her alone…so she stays off the couch.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Mass Advice
Avoid the children’s Mass on Sunday whenever possible…unless of course you have young children. Seeing our children are too old to drag with us…we should have taken our own advice.
Last Sunday we sat a couple of rows behind a woman who attempted a religious experience with 3 young kids. Maybe 2 of them were kids, but the little one was a young Rambo in training. She was totally outnumbered. She could have used a few extra hands…to hold them down. She had a girl about 5, a boy age 3 and a Terrible 2 year old boy(capital T) with a baby plug. The woman could not have heard a word of the Mass…I know this because I couldn’t and I didn’t have young Rambo sitting on my lap.
The 5 and 3 year olds acted “okay” at best, but the 2 year old abused his mother for the entire 62 minutes of Mass. (I was checking the time…like every other Catholic.) Too bad the priest couldn’t have cut it short and cut the woman a break. Young Rambo repeatedly tried to slap his mother’s face…most times he was successful and connected with a one-two punch. He constantly reached to pull out her earrings and managed to yank one off her pierced ear. He tried to bite her face and hands. He bit her sweater pulling threads with his teeth. He threw his pacifier around the pew and cried and screamed. His best move was when he arched his back and kicked her in the chest.
I give the woman credit for bringing her kids to church…but hello…what a distraction for the people around them. The man kneeling directly behind them certainly got an eyeful and almost a fistful. In between the abuse to his mother, young Rambo tried to grab the man’s hands to get a reaction. Of course clueless mom was oblivious to it all. I wanted to lean forward and say, “Lady, your bratty son is the reason the cry room was invented.”
I know my 3 bambinos weren’t perfect little angels in church, but I know I didn’t get the crap beat out of me during mass. I at least had the sense to be armed with cheerios, books, and crayons. While watching this abuse, I thought, “Geez, she has the patience of Job.” She always kept her cool and would smile sweetly at her brood. When she calmly whispered in her child’s ear…I secretly hoped she was saying, “Listen you little brat, just wait until I get your (_!_) home. I am locking you in the closet for the rest of the day and no dinner for you tonight.” (This is not a very nice thought in church.)
The only religious experience this mother was getting…was seeing stars from all the abuse she took from young Rambo. So avoid the children’s Mass if you don’t have young kids and if you do have young kids…leave the pew when they start abusing you and you have become a total freak show. Peace be with you.
Last Sunday we sat a couple of rows behind a woman who attempted a religious experience with 3 young kids. Maybe 2 of them were kids, but the little one was a young Rambo in training. She was totally outnumbered. She could have used a few extra hands…to hold them down. She had a girl about 5, a boy age 3 and a Terrible 2 year old boy(capital T) with a baby plug. The woman could not have heard a word of the Mass…I know this because I couldn’t and I didn’t have young Rambo sitting on my lap.
The 5 and 3 year olds acted “okay” at best, but the 2 year old abused his mother for the entire 62 minutes of Mass. (I was checking the time…like every other Catholic.) Too bad the priest couldn’t have cut it short and cut the woman a break. Young Rambo repeatedly tried to slap his mother’s face…most times he was successful and connected with a one-two punch. He constantly reached to pull out her earrings and managed to yank one off her pierced ear. He tried to bite her face and hands. He bit her sweater pulling threads with his teeth. He threw his pacifier around the pew and cried and screamed. His best move was when he arched his back and kicked her in the chest.
I give the woman credit for bringing her kids to church…but hello…what a distraction for the people around them. The man kneeling directly behind them certainly got an eyeful and almost a fistful. In between the abuse to his mother, young Rambo tried to grab the man’s hands to get a reaction. Of course clueless mom was oblivious to it all. I wanted to lean forward and say, “Lady, your bratty son is the reason the cry room was invented.”
I know my 3 bambinos weren’t perfect little angels in church, but I know I didn’t get the crap beat out of me during mass. I at least had the sense to be armed with cheerios, books, and crayons. While watching this abuse, I thought, “Geez, she has the patience of Job.” She always kept her cool and would smile sweetly at her brood. When she calmly whispered in her child’s ear…I secretly hoped she was saying, “Listen you little brat, just wait until I get your (_!_) home. I am locking you in the closet for the rest of the day and no dinner for you tonight.” (This is not a very nice thought in church.)
The only religious experience this mother was getting…was seeing stars from all the abuse she took from young Rambo. So avoid the children’s Mass if you don’t have young kids and if you do have young kids…leave the pew when they start abusing you and you have become a total freak show. Peace be with you.
Monday, February 25, 2008
Anyone Out There?
Is anyone out there in blogworld reading my blogs? Every now and then, once in a blue moon…I get a comment from Anonymous, but in general, I am not hearing from folks. I started thinking about the saying, “If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?” So I was wondering, “If a blogger writes a blog and no one ever comments on it, does it strike a nerve?” Or “If a blogger writes a blog and talks about totally absurd stuff, does anyone want to comment or even care?” Probably the latter!
Maybe my blogs are too long and too…blah, blah, blah. I have a friend who told me that reading my blog was a lot of work. He may have a point. I know this person moves his lips when he reads…making him tired and thirsty.
So I was thinking… How can I spice up my blog and get a reaction out of readers? Well, I can’t talk about nasty stuff…this is not a porn site. (For those porn readers who were expecting XXX…you might want to keep moving.)
Hmm...Maybe I could throw in a couple of symbols now and then to make it interesting. You remember, like the picture stories in the Weekly Reader magazine. (I’m dating myself here. Wait, that is just an expression…I’m really married.)
So instead of calling someone an ass… I could just show one (_!_) . And if someone is a total smartass (_E=mc2_). Instead of saying, “just kidding”, I could use a wink symbol ;-) and when I wanted to send a shout-out to my peeps...I could use :-0
I welcome all comments and opinions. I won’t even mind if you write and tell me, “Kat you’re an (_!_) and you’re full of it.” I just want to know that you are out there. I hope to hear from all of you...even the (_E=mc2_) and the reading impaired. ;-)
Signing off…….. =^.^=OUT
Maybe my blogs are too long and too…blah, blah, blah. I have a friend who told me that reading my blog was a lot of work. He may have a point. I know this person moves his lips when he reads…making him tired and thirsty.
So I was thinking… How can I spice up my blog and get a reaction out of readers? Well, I can’t talk about nasty stuff…this is not a porn site. (For those porn readers who were expecting XXX…you might want to keep moving.)
Hmm...Maybe I could throw in a couple of symbols now and then to make it interesting. You remember, like the picture stories in the Weekly Reader magazine. (I’m dating myself here. Wait, that is just an expression…I’m really married.)
So instead of calling someone an ass… I could just show one (_!_) . And if someone is a total smartass (_E=mc2_). Instead of saying, “just kidding”, I could use a wink symbol ;-) and when I wanted to send a shout-out to my peeps...I could use :-0
I welcome all comments and opinions. I won’t even mind if you write and tell me, “Kat you’re an (_!_) and you’re full of it.” I just want to know that you are out there. I hope to hear from all of you...even the (_E=mc2_) and the reading impaired. ;-)
Signing off…….. =^.^=OUT
Friday, February 22, 2008
Kat and Dog Talk
Kat talk: “Rise and shine Duncan. You are such a lazy dog! Come here fella…here’s your breakfast. Did you miss me last week when you were at college? Look what I bought for you… a new jersey to wear. All the other dogs are gonna be so jealous. Come here Dunks, so I can put it on you.
Here’s some nice fresh water in your bowl. I know how you like fresh water. I fluffed up your dog bed so stay off the couch. Have a nice day and I’ll be back to feed you dinner.”
Duncandog talk: “Yo dogs... Duncan here. I’m back with the Kat. I really enjoyed my break from the Gestapo lady. I found out that college is way better than the Kathouse…no rules at the Colinboy house. I hope I can go back real soon.
I got used to going to bed late and sleeping in. This 7 am “rise and shine” crap is killing me. Kat has such a heavy foot…couldn’t she be a little quieter when she walks around the joint. I loved sleeping in until noon everyday. Katwoman has me on some dumb ass schedule…breakfast ….dinner… no couch, no ice cream, boring life, no fun. Just rules, rules, rules. It was also a nice break from the goofy dog threads she makes me wear. If dogs were meant to wear clothes they would have closets. Plus all my buds laugh at me when I walk down the street.
At college, Colinboy respected me. He was quiet in the morning….particularly nice when I was hung over. That reminds me…I learned a few things in college. I learned that I like Corona Light and it is more figure friendly than Guinness Stout. Water bites it….unless it comes from the toilet bowl. Much more flavor out of the bowl. Also, I’m pretty good at poker. Winner takes all…hehe.”
Here’s some nice fresh water in your bowl. I know how you like fresh water. I fluffed up your dog bed so stay off the couch. Have a nice day and I’ll be back to feed you dinner.”
Duncandog talk: “Yo dogs... Duncan here. I’m back with the Kat. I really enjoyed my break from the Gestapo lady. I found out that college is way better than the Kathouse…no rules at the Colinboy house. I hope I can go back real soon.
I got used to going to bed late and sleeping in. This 7 am “rise and shine” crap is killing me. Kat has such a heavy foot…couldn’t she be a little quieter when she walks around the joint. I loved sleeping in until noon everyday. Katwoman has me on some dumb ass schedule…breakfast ….dinner… no couch, no ice cream, boring life, no fun. Just rules, rules, rules. It was also a nice break from the goofy dog threads she makes me wear. If dogs were meant to wear clothes they would have closets. Plus all my buds laugh at me when I walk down the street.
At college, Colinboy respected me. He was quiet in the morning….particularly nice when I was hung over. That reminds me…I learned a few things in college. I learned that I like Corona Light and it is more figure friendly than Guinness Stout. Water bites it….unless it comes from the toilet bowl. Much more flavor out of the bowl. Also, I’m pretty good at poker. Winner takes all…hehe.”
Thursday, February 21, 2008
The Return of Thelma And Louise
Thelma and Louise are back. I would advise a college road trip for any parent who wants to spend some quality time with their son or daughter. You could be Thelma and Louise or Batman and Robin or even Abbott and Costello. But whatever you call yourselves, the best thing is……there is no way your child can escape you…unless they can jump out of a speeding car going 65 mph. Bri and I proved to be quite compatible on the road…that’s probably because Brianna is very easy going and knows how to humor me.
We saw a lot of schools which are now all jumbled in our heads…we saw large schools, small schools, fat schools and skinny schools. We saw catholic schools, party schools, city schools and burb schools. It was a nice cross-section of schools. Just never found a medium-sized city/burb party catholic school on a diet.
One thing I will not miss about the trip is not knowing where the heck I was going. Every highway, every exit, every turn…was all new to me. Do I make a left, should I make a right, where do we stay, where do we eat, where are the lights for the bathroom, how do I set the alarm, where can we get breakfast, where’s my toothbrush…..whoops, left that back in East Boken…on and on. We somehow ended up finding every school and most of the time it was on pure dumb luck. We found places using u-turns, k-turns, and turn-abouts. I have to say that I am officially the Queen of the U-turn…But we did it. Thelma and Louise never looked so good...and we didn’t drive off a cliff…although we drove off a few curbs.
It was a fact finding mission about different types of schools and I think we learned a lot. One fact that I knew before we took the trip…my Sweet Wish is going away to college in a short time…and I am going to really miss her.
We saw a lot of schools which are now all jumbled in our heads…we saw large schools, small schools, fat schools and skinny schools. We saw catholic schools, party schools, city schools and burb schools. It was a nice cross-section of schools. Just never found a medium-sized city/burb party catholic school on a diet.
One thing I will not miss about the trip is not knowing where the heck I was going. Every highway, every exit, every turn…was all new to me. Do I make a left, should I make a right, where do we stay, where do we eat, where are the lights for the bathroom, how do I set the alarm, where can we get breakfast, where’s my toothbrush…..whoops, left that back in East Boken…on and on. We somehow ended up finding every school and most of the time it was on pure dumb luck. We found places using u-turns, k-turns, and turn-abouts. I have to say that I am officially the Queen of the U-turn…But we did it. Thelma and Louise never looked so good...and we didn’t drive off a cliff…although we drove off a few curbs.
It was a fact finding mission about different types of schools and I think we learned a lot. One fact that I knew before we took the trip…my Sweet Wish is going away to college in a short time…and I am going to really miss her.
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Thelma and Louise Hit The Road
In less than a year and a half, Wishy will be going to college…sitting in a classroom, talking to professors, living in a dorm, partying with other freshman…no don’t tell me that!!! She still has a little while to go before she is off, but the question now is… Where will you be going Wishy? What are you looking for in a school and will that same school be looking for you? Any college will be lucky to get her… I am her mother and I know these things.
So we are ready for our Thelma and Louise trip…(did this with Chels)…where we schedule college tours, map out a route and hit the road for a few days. Two chicks heading down the highway… missing exits, singing at the top our lungs, eating fast food, and staying wherever we find a vacancy. We don’t plan too much ahead…we want to be able to change things as we go. We’re a couple of chicks remember and chicks do that.
We will make PaulA crazy because we won’t do it right. PaulA is a planner from way back…and would make sure there was a nice restaurant at the end of every day. But from experience with Chels…I know we will be too tired and just want to get in the room. Dinner from the vending machine is definitely not PaulA style. Some hotels offer chocolate chips cookies at the front desk …which can be a gourmet meal.
I look so forward to spending time with Bri on our Thelma and Louis trip…two chicks together on the open road. Okay…I’ll be realistic… one chick and one ole mother hen.
So we are ready for our Thelma and Louise trip…(did this with Chels)…where we schedule college tours, map out a route and hit the road for a few days. Two chicks heading down the highway… missing exits, singing at the top our lungs, eating fast food, and staying wherever we find a vacancy. We don’t plan too much ahead…we want to be able to change things as we go. We’re a couple of chicks remember and chicks do that.
We will make PaulA crazy because we won’t do it right. PaulA is a planner from way back…and would make sure there was a nice restaurant at the end of every day. But from experience with Chels…I know we will be too tired and just want to get in the room. Dinner from the vending machine is definitely not PaulA style. Some hotels offer chocolate chips cookies at the front desk …which can be a gourmet meal.
I look so forward to spending time with Bri on our Thelma and Louis trip…two chicks together on the open road. Okay…I’ll be realistic… one chick and one ole mother hen.
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