Putting this on the Table

 We all know that 

Turkey 

takes center stage

for Thanksgiving dinner.

It wouldn't be a Thanksgiving feast 

without a domesticated pheasant.

But, every star needs a sidekick.

Bring on the side dishes.

What’s your favorite side dish?

My fav is the mashed potatoes…

no gravy, please.

A potato peel away from first is 

my cranberry sauce.

PaulA makes his own- cranorange sauce...

(Living in a cranHOUSE divided.) 

PaulA’s fav side dish is Uncle Alan’s Portuguese stuffing…

passed down from Alan’s Portuguese mama.  

Through the hands of 2 Portuguese and an Irishman...

nothing gets lost in translation.

On a savory note...

Northerners call it "stuffing"…

Southerners call it "dressing"  

and I hear 

Pennsylvanians call it "filling."

probably the ones from Philly

All I know is that

eating my fill of dressing stuffs me to the brim

which leads to extended time on the couch.

Anywhoooo…..

This Thanksgiving dinner will be a table for two... 

just PaulA and I.

Definitely a first.

I can't be sad

 cuz we will have 

our entire tribe for Christmas…

after they quarantine for 2 weeks before visiting. 

Plus, we are left with

more leftovers

AND

in addition to the

turkey and the fixin's,

I get to 

put this on the table.

Brianna & Christian are engaged.

                                        woo hoo

Move over Tom Turkey...

Brianna and Christian are the main event this Thanksgiving.

PaulA and I are so happy and excited.

We are gaining 

(other than apple pie pounds) 

a  smart, handsome, fun, loving and supportive

new son-in-law, Christian.

So going forward, 

we will have 8 adults at the grown-up table.

and a kid table currently at 2...and hopefully counting.

We are so Thankful 

for our family, our friends and 

the newly engaged lovebirds,

Brianna and Christian.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone

Monkey Balls

 A good workout may good for you, 

but some come with hidden perils 

so remember...

always treadmill carefully.

I’ve been walking outside these days 

to get 

my heart, lungs, and mind pumpin'.

I like to think of it as power walking 

but compared to PaulA’s pace…

it just might be a walk in the park.

So what are the perils of walking?  

Walking seems innocent enough, right?

Well believe me.....

it's fraught with perils...

stumbles, slips and spills,

bursitis, bunions, and blisters,

foot, knee, and ankle injuries.

oh yes. 

And the greatest peril of all...

objects falling from the sky.

Anywhooo….

On my last walk ….

out of nowhere…an object fell from the sky…

okay, from a tree.

Thud

I looked down to find 

a green cranial orb...

 that just barely missed my head.

I picked up the Martian brain and 

watched a white fluid ooze out from its impact with the ground….

thinking of what could have been.

I was not familiar with this green object 

or the tree it came from,

although I am very familiar with the maple tree 

and the sticky sap that lands on my car. 

I carried the orb home and googled it 

to find out 

it was the fruit from the Osage Orange tree…

Latin name:  Macular Pomifera… 

aka

Monkey ball 

and that Monkey balls can weigh from 1 to 5 pounds.  

My monkey ball weighed just over 1 pound 

(of course I weighed it)

which was heavy enough.

 Think of the physics

as the monkey ball came hurling my way;

like a full water bottle thrown at me.

If that monkey ball hit my head, 

it would have hurt…

or worse yet…

it would have knocked me into next week.

Now when I go for a walk I look for evidence of

fallen monkey balls.

monkey ball massacre

Before I take my next walk....

I’m headed to Home Depot 

to pick up a hard hat.

I can’t be too careful in a world full of 

monkey balls.

No more monkey balls falling on my head.

gotta admit, it's fun saying

"Monkey Balls."

Masking for a friend

 

Masks...

like them or dislike them, 

we are stuck with them 

to help slow the spread of Covid.  

So currently….

 I am masking for a friend and 

for my own ass health.

I hope you don’t mind me masking?  

What’s your massk look like lately? 

I have been wearing the blue disposable dealios…

until Chelsea upped my mask game and

bought me a couple cute(er) cloth masks

if there is such a thang.

I draw the line at coordinating them with outfits…at this point.

People have good intentions wearing masks, 

but aren't always wearing them correctly.

I'm pretty sure wearing them 

below the nose or

under the chin 

is like closing the barn door 

after the cows are out.*

*Vermonterism

I’m thinking if masks were made out of bacon, 

we would wear them over our nose and mouth. 

Bacon makes everything better.*

*another Vermonterism

*my mama's maiden name was Bacon

 

Anywhoooo.....

These days people are stashing masks everywhere 

so they have one when they need it.…

stuffed in pockets and purses, 

dangling from rearview windows; 

where high school graduation tassels or 

air fresheners used to hang. 

Eau de mask

I always keep a mask in my purse or in my car…

just in case...

which is perfect

IF I have my purse or my car.

 

This summer I found myself without both.

PaulA and I were visiting good friends on B.I.

and used their car to pick up some sandwiches. 

Riding shotgun with PaulA to pick up the order…

I headed to the take-out line outside…

but then realized I needed a mask to get them.  

Without my car and purse, I was one mask short of a sandwich.

So I went back to the car and 

I said to PaulA: “Honey, take your shirt off."

  PaulA replied:  "Really Kat?…right here, right now? in the car?"

me:  "Haha PaulA...you're funny…I need your shirt."

PaulA took his shirt off, 

tossed it to me and 

I wrapped it around my face.  

A size "L" cotton blend red t-shirt isn’t my best look 

but it passed as a face covering.

And no one gave me a second look or 

second guessed my mask game.

And super lucky for me, 

his shirt was still smelling downy fresh.

Going forward, I will continue 

masking for a friend 

and for myself.

Plus,

this is the closest I will ever get to being a 

superhero.

Admittedly so…

Catwoman 

looks way cooler in her mask

than this

Katwoman 

looks in hers.

Halloween 2020

 This is a scary Halloween, to put it mildly.  

Not only do we have to be on the watch for 

ghosts, ghouls, witches and warlocks, 

but also for the invisible coronavirus lurking behind masks…

and traveling piggy back 

on a little goblin knocking at our front door. 

On this all hallow's eve….

PaulA and I have decided to participate in Halloween... 

at a ghoulish distance 

to avoid gremlin Covid germs.  

We have made up individual candy bags for the trick-or-treaters 

and are not going to allow them to attack the bowl full of candy…

like every year.

Paul had the brilliantly crazy idea of throwing a candy bag to each of them…

but I’m thinking not every 5 year old is a good catch.  

That has disaster plan written all over it.  

Plus I don’t want to get in trouble with any parent 

for throwing things at their kid.

So I will be masking up more than usual…

and dropping the bags of candy in their bucket 

from behind our glass front door.

I will be dressed as a gloved “Thing” from the Munsters…

exposing just my hand reaching around the door.

I’m wondering what costumes will be popular for 2020. 

There's the standard…scarecrow, pirate, and clown,

but I wouldn’t be surprised to see someone dressed as the

nasty...

 coronavirus, hand sanitizer or roll of toilet paper .

As crazy at it seems…

I would even take the days when kids dressed inappropriately as the nasty

 twerking Miley Cyrus  

over these days.  

Bring back 2013

Anywhooo…..

I don’t know about you, but every day feels like Halloween to me...

between masks

and

folks not being able to tell who you really are.

Halloween 2020 has got me thinking...

if people wearing masks were rewarded with a candy bar…

more folks would be all in.

I know 

I am definitely down for 

a Kit Kat bar 

every now and then.

Sticker Advocate for Adulting

As we know,

Adulting,

performing tasks such as 

paying bills, making dinner, insuring to insure, making budgets, maintaining your health and your car's health and knowing the difference between a

401(k) plan and a 2-4-1 happy hour plan, 

ain't always easy or fun.

Being a responsible adult and performing mundane tasks

is hard enough but to make matters worse...

it's done without validation or affirmation

and the lack of 

reward stickers.  

No one is giving Adults

 a sticker for something done right.  

We go through life doing these things without any credit.

Kids have it made…

they get stickers at school and 

some parents hand them out. 

Heck, there are lucky little tikes who get stickers for things like…

tying their shoes 

or 

not pitching a fit to go to bed.

And then after collecting 10 or so stickers

they can turn them in for something like

….an iPad or xbox. 

Do they still have xbox….maybe it's a zbox by now.

Albeit, (love that word) 

reward stickers do have a way of bringing out good behavior.

After all, 

kids like stickers and free stuff…

but so do adults.  

Adults deserve stickers for their efforts too.

Nice job with the laundry Kat... here’s a sticker.

You braved the grocery store during a pandemic…here’s a sticker, PaulA.

You cleaned the guest bathroom 

and company wasn’t even coming over...here’s a sticker, Kat.

Anywhooooo……

Early voting is now taking place in Tennessee.  

I had been counting down the days until I could vote.  

I knew by hook 

or by looking like a masked crook,

I was gonna vote in person. 

Not just because I'm patriotic 

doing my civic duty as an American….

but heck y’all 

there’s a sticker involved.  

                                                           Full disclosure...Being a stickler for stickers I asked for two.

Move over kids,

it's about time adults got in on the sticker action. 

I'm proposing the

 The Sticker New Deal.

After collecting 10 stickers... 

you would receive a voucher ...

for maybe

 free coffee from Starbucks or DD’s 

or

4 hours of free babysitting*.

*this one's for you Chelsea

This Sticker New Deal would give adults extra incentive  

for Adulting 

and to be on their best behavior,

making this world a nicer place.

But alas,

 until I’m able to rule the world 

and implement The Sticker New Deal…

I will have to wait until another election to get another sticker.

Wait a minute....just remembered...

I could give blood.

The Red Cross gives out stickers.