Monkey Balls

 A good workout may good for you, 

but some come with hidden perils 

so remember...

always treadmill carefully.

I’ve been walking outside these days 

to get 

my heart, lungs, and mind pumpin'.

I like to think of it as power walking 

but compared to PaulA’s pace…

it just might be a walk in the park.

So what are the perils of walking?  

Walking seems innocent enough, right?

Well believe me.....

it's fraught with perils...

stumbles, slips and spills,

bursitis, bunions, and blisters,

foot, knee, and ankle injuries.

oh yes. 

And the greatest peril of all...

objects falling from the sky.

Anywhooo….

On my last walk ….

out of nowhere…an object fell from the sky…

okay, from a tree.

Thud

I looked down to find 

a green cranial orb...

 that just barely missed my head.

I picked up the Martian brain and 

watched a white fluid ooze out from its impact with the ground….

thinking of what could have been.

I was not familiar with this green object 

or the tree it came from,

although I am very familiar with the maple tree 

and the sticky sap that lands on my car. 

I carried the orb home and googled it 

to find out 

it was the fruit from the Osage Orange tree…

Latin name:  Macular Pomifera… 

aka

Monkey ball 

and that Monkey balls can weigh from 1 to 5 pounds.  

My monkey ball weighed just over 1 pound 

(of course I weighed it)

which was heavy enough.

 Think of the physics

as the monkey ball came hurling my way;

like a full water bottle thrown at me.

If that monkey ball hit my head, 

it would have hurt…

or worse yet…

it would have knocked me into next week.

Now when I go for a walk I look for evidence of

fallen monkey balls.

monkey ball massacre

Before I take my next walk....

I’m headed to Home Depot 

to pick up a hard hat.

I can’t be too careful in a world full of 

monkey balls.

No more monkey balls falling on my head.

gotta admit, it's fun saying

"Monkey Balls."