Presence of Presents

Year after year 

Santa is presented with a present dilemma.

"What to get the kids?"

During years of Christmases past...

presents were a no-brainer for Santa.

A Barbie, 

a baseball bat, 

and a baby doll 

fulfilled Chelsea, Colin, and Brianna’s 

wish list.

With each year, however,

the present dilemma got trickier.

Last year Santa came through in a big way 

and presented them with a 

Best Buy Christmas.

(You really can't go wrong with electronics for presents….

unless, OF COURSE,

 you’re given a  sucky vacuum cleaner.)

Bad Santa

This year…

Santa presented them with 
a throw-back Chrismas...

a record player (complete with our old albums) for Brianna,
a recipe box (complete with Mom’s recipes) for Chelsea

and 

a workout headband (complete with mullet) for Colin.

Anywhooo…….

A few years ago 
Santa had the presence of mind 

to figure out

that kids their age like cold hard cash as presents
so Santa

presented
them with an 
ATM.

When it’s their turn….
they insert the card
into the ATM

and out pops cash.

The more trips to the ATM…

the merrier. 

Ho Ho Ho

And what could be better than cash?

Having our 3 at home…

all of us under the same roof, 
in the same room,

makes my Christmas day.

The presence of their presence

 is the best present.ever.

It doesn't get better than that.

Naughty or Nice?

While I've been out

Christmas shopping

around town and the Taj MaMall...

I've noticed that the General Q. Public 

in peculiar particular…

have been refreshingly polite to each other.

ahhhhh

It warms my cockles to see...

people holding doors for people, 

people letting older people cut ahead, 

people paying it forward,

people needing people, 

are the luckiest people.

But when it comes to driving during the holidays….

all that people politeness 

is thrown out the car window 

along with the baby and the bath water...

and

nice turns to naughty.

Behind the wheel, 

these former

considerate,

respectful,

civilized

asses masses

become aggressive and resort to

cutting,

honking,

tailgating,

and

giving the middle finger salute

(and not just at me.)

That's when 

my nice warm cockles 

turn stone cold.

So be careful of  the

"Nice turn Naughty." 

Remember...

grandma got run over by a reindeer.

Merry Christmas, 

ya filthy animal.

"Lick it" or "Click it" Holiday Cards

One of the many things I love about the holiday season 

is the cards.  

And that's not just me.  

As soon as our kids come home 

they ask, 

"Where are the cards?"  

Then they quickly dig through the pile, 

breezing through cards with nice holiday messages…

looking for photos. 

So question….

If you are still sending out

 Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanza cards…

how do you send them?

 lick the envelope..."snail-mail" style?

or 

click Send…"You've got Mail" style?

I'm still in the old school lick-em style category.  

 I used to get Duncandog to help me

with the licking.

He was always good like that...

but these days 

I can't get a lick of help.

Anywhoooo…..

Seeing today is

 "Throwback Thursday"…

I have a Christmas card from years gone by…

I look forward to receiving 

any and all of your photo/non-photo 

holiday greetings 

sent

lick it 

or

click it

Style.

And 

with a lick and a promise...

all my cards will get done.

December 5th - Cemented in History

Today is a day…

 that is cemented in 

Kat and PaulA history.

December 5th...38 years ago...was our first date.

We were sophomores at Groovy UVM 

and living in the dorms on Redstone Campus.

Paul asked me to 

 the semi-formal party 

that our dorm was having with his.   

(The party was as "semi-formal" 

as you can get in a dormitory lounge made of 

porous gray cinder blocks.)

So….. as girls do…

I debated on what I should wear.  

Nothing I owned seemed worthy of a 

concrete block semi-formal affair…

so I walked down street to the center of Burlington 

to look for a 

cool yet groovylicious 
outfit to wear…

and came back with a 

brown velvet skirt and matching brown vest.

 #whatwasIthinking?

I guess I was going for a look that screamed...

 "What-can-Brown-do-for-you?"

 It's a wonder PaulA didn't send me packing...
with packing slip and all.

I must say...

my date was looking quite spiffy in his 

corduroy jacket, 

white tie, 

and curly hair.

Anywhoooo……

This morning I asked PaulA…

if he knew what day today was???

And he immediately said

with no hinting…

no prodding…

no nudging...

"December 5th...Today was our first date."

bingo

That there is 
concrete proof 

December 5th is a day we both

won't ever forget
and that my 
"How now brown cow" outfit didn't scare him away.**

(**if you're in your 20's you've never heard that expression before.)

So feeling the mood...

I went upstairs and put on 

my most lovely brown outfit.

Shop Til You Drop

It's here…..

the season that separates the 

bargain sales shopper 

from the seriously deranged 

run-you-over

take-no-prisoners

shopper.

The bargain shopper has the heart and sole 

for a good sale…

and will haul ass at the crack 

of dawn on Black Friday

to get a deal...

as compared to 

the seriously lunatic shopper 

who is also in it for the bargains, 

but even more for the sport…

the competition. 

They are In it to Win it.

Outwit, Outplay, Outlast.

Anywhooooo…..

The holiday shopping competition 

starts earlier each year...

(Survivors ready? )

with some stores opening on Thanksgiving.

Go

Shoppers who hit stores after Turkey dinner 

are determined to bring home the bargain…

(you wanna know what you are playing for?)

or have had enough of Aunt Mildred's broken record.

You have to be careful shopping in these circles…

they ain't for the faint of heart. 

You have to be prepared for a battle of 

pepper spray and stampedes.

Shop 'til you drop...dead.

(The Tribe has spoken.)

This Kat doesn't have the energy to leave her couch on Thanksgiving.

The chance of me leaving a warm house

and entering a cold brick-and-mortar store 

of steely eyed strangers 

ready to tangle

over a tv, tablet, or toaster?

...slim jim of a chance.

I admit I haven't been much of a cyber shopper 

but now I'm thinking 

I may have to sharpen my fingers.

Otherwise...

I need to invest in a suit of armor.

Old school holiday shopping 

has become way too competitive for this Kat.

Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit

The turkey's been 

cooked, 

carved 

and 

consumed.

The pie's been 

set, 

sliced, 

and 

scarfed.

And the
unscrupulous

"loose corn"

has 

finally found some morals.

Thankfully

the Thanksgiving 4 day

binge 

eatfest is

 OVER.

Anywhooooo.....

I have PaulA 

in the da house 

to remind me 

it's the first of the month.

I just might have a shot at 
a month of good luck.

Rabbit, 

Rabbit, 

Rabbit
......

you filthy animals.