Monday, November 21, 2011

Sweet Ransom

Okay, I admit it.
I was caught stealing candy from a baby.

Well…technically, not from a baby, a 10 year old.

And technically we are related.
so I wasn't stealing from a stranger.

Can I help it if my niece had a 2 ton bag of Halloween candy
calling my sweet name…
within arms reach?

While my niece was at school.....
I lifted as many candy bars as I could get my grubby hands on
and stashed them in my purse.
And then I was caught…in the act…by her mom (my sister)…aka Sistersledge.

I explained to Sistersledge…that it was actually good that I was stealing her candy…
think of the dental bills… think of the 4 walls she would be bouncing off.
I not only was saving Sistersledge money, but sanity.


Because Storm Alfred had left us in the dark for days,
there was no trick-or-treating in our neighborhood.
And to add to the tragedy…
I hadn’t previously purchased any candy (normally a wise move).

I had candy on the brain and opportunity in hand.
Clearly I had no choice.......but to....
hold her bag ransom.
(this. could. get. ugly.)

Dear RUNT,

ransom note.
I advise you to not be a Dum Dum…or an AIR HEAD
so do exactly as I say.

Do not contact any LIFESAVERS.
Zero people can help you,
not even the 3 MUSKETEERS.

When I am GOOD AND PLENTY ready …

you will get your candy back.

Instead of asking for a 100 GRAND,

I’m asking for MOUNDS of your candy...NOW AND LATER.

After you connect all the DOTS…you will get your candy bag back.
You will notice that after I make my SKOR
your bag will be A LOT lighter.



(wait, whooooo's the 10 year old?)


sistersludge said...

LOL funny Kat

Nutty Niece said...

You ate my candy?!!! I was storing up for the holidays!!!!