Pope Benedict XVI - The Closer

Pope Benedict XVI… is here! The Pope visiting America is a big deal even if you aren’t Catholic. You gotta love the Pope. And if you aren’t much of a fan…you gotta love Pope on a rope…a classic.

Pope Benedict will be in the U.S. for 6 days and will visit Washington D.C.(God knows G.W. needs some extra blessings), Ground Zero (God Bless the sacred ground), and Yankee Stadium(God knows the Yanks need mega blessings.) He will hold Mass for 57,000 worshippers in Yankee Stadium. Even with all those seats…you can’t get one now. I wonder if anyone is scalping tickets (admittedly, not very Christian.)

I’m wondering how long Mass will last inside Yankee Stadium. Mass usually lasts an hour…just the way Catholics like it…get in and get out. But maybe this will be like one of those marathon Yankee/Red Sox games and go for 6 hours. Yikes! (Note to self: do not try to scalp tickets.) I would think with a longer service (thus making us Catholics very fidgety) they would have a seventh inning stretch…I think that would make Mass very enjoyable. Maybe sing my new rendition of “Take me out to the …” during the stretch. This could become a new Catholic tradition.

I was thinking it was too bad the Yankees were out of town and the Pope won't be able to watch a game, eat some peanuts and spill some beer. I just hope that the Pope’s visiting Yankee Stadium doesn’t give the Yanks the one up on winning games against our beloved Red Sox.

You can’t mention the Pope without mentioning the Popemobile….not a dignified name, but a cool ride. I’m sure if Pope Clement V, back in the 1400s, saw the Popemobile of 2008… he’d give his gold mitre for one. A much better way to get around…then schlepping (I mean, spreading the Word) around the empire in the hot Roman sun while sweating profusely under heavy garb.

The other thing you can’t go without mentioning is the Pope’s red shoes. Have you seen them peeking out from under his long Pope kimono? He has brought back the tradition of wearing red shoes…they give him much needed fashion. He actually reminds me of Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz…..

When Pope Benedict heads for home…he’ll pack up his things…his Pope kimono, cape, and Popemobile. Then he’ll close his eyes, tap his heels together three times. And think, there’s no place like the Vatican.

“Take Me Out…” for the Pope’s Mass in Yankee Stadium:

Take me out to the Pope’s Mass
Take me out to the vowed
Buy me a rosary and crusifix
I don't care if I ever get kicks
And it's root, root, root for the Catholics
If they don't win, it's a shame
Cause it's one, two, three sins
You're out
At the old Pope’s Mass