Thanksgiving is over…and everyone wobbled home fat and happy…which is more than I can say for Mr. Tom Turkey. I actually love Thanksgiving…lots of family….lots of food and more food. I wouldn’t consider myself a gourmet cook…but I can manage Thanksgiving…and I always find ways to entertain myself in the kitchen.
I learned that peeling 10 lbs of potatoes can be very relaxing. The day before Thanksgiving I stood at the kitchen sink peeling away…deep in thought…about the next day’s events...and the poor turkey who gave his life. Before I knew it, I realized my potato was taking shape…taking on human form. I took a closer look at it and thought I saw a face just wanting to bust out of the spud. Now I know what Michelangelo felt like…seeing David emerge from the plaster.
So I kept whittling away…and then I saw it. My potato had Abraham Lincoln’s face. I knew I recognized that long face …longing to be freed. But then again, maybe the potato resembled a serious Obama. Another potato to whittle…next up… Bill Clinton.
After carving a series of presidential potato heads…I moved to making cranberry brie. The cranberry topping calls for small amounts of many different spices. An eighth to be exact of allspice, cloves, nutmeg, and dry mustard. As I was adding the spices…I wondered what dry mustard smelled like. Was dry mustard like its cousin…wet mustard? So I put the eighth of a teaspoon of dry mustard up to my nose for a little smell test. With one breath in, I ended up snorting an eighth. I’m still not sure what dry mustard smells like. But I do know…it burns the inside of your nose.
So if you wonder what I am doing in the kitchen the day before Thanksgiving…I am snorting spices and whittling president heads out of baking potatoes.
Who said cooking wasn’t fun?
Friday, November 28, 2008
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Happy Thanksgiving
I think I should keep this blog short…short on words. Especially when it is Thanksgiving Day morning and I am expecting 21 relatives for dinner. Yep, today is the perfect day for me to cook up something fast for my blog…kinda like a quick bread…not the long rising old fashioned yummy bread.
Besides I want my blog readers to not be stuffed…so full of Kat. I want them to still have a ravenous appetite for more. We want more…We want more… We want more…
Plus it would be really sad if everyone arrived and found nothing prepared…no table set...no turkey roasted…and found Aunt Kat at the computer…blogging away. Stick a fork in her already and call her cooked.
So I want to offer my Thanks to you for giving your attention to my blog…when I’m sure most times you want to cry fowl. Other than much gratitude…I really have nothing to offer my blog readers…which is better than nothing to offer my guests.
Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!
Besides I want my blog readers to not be stuffed…so full of Kat. I want them to still have a ravenous appetite for more. We want more…We want more… We want more…
Plus it would be really sad if everyone arrived and found nothing prepared…no table set...no turkey roasted…and found Aunt Kat at the computer…blogging away. Stick a fork in her already and call her cooked.
So I want to offer my Thanks to you for giving your attention to my blog…when I’m sure most times you want to cry fowl. Other than much gratitude…I really have nothing to offer my blog readers…which is better than nothing to offer my guests.
Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Blogger Insurance
I realize you can insure just about anything. There’s insurance for homes, cars, businesses and not to mention…body parts. Mariah Carey actually had her legs insured for a $1,000,000,000. That’s a billion dollars folks…I know I had to count the zeros to believe it. I would love to see Mariah’s leg policy…and what they are insured for. Maybe her gams are insured against ….people like the whackos associated to Tanya Harding. Maybe Madonna will want to knock her down a peg (leg) or two. Or maybe a broken leg from falling or getting pushed off a stage. But I mostly wonder about cuts when she shaves her legs….or any ingrown hairs.
I wonder what my legs could be insured for…probably $2.50 for the pair…tops. I’m thinking of looking into some insurance for my most admired body part…my fingers…very valuable tool for bloggers. One accidental slice with my chain saw…and my blogging career is over.
Fortunately now bloggers everywhere can breathe a sigh of relief...the world has invented blogger insurance. Bloggers can be protected from charges brought against them for defamation and invasion of privacy. So now some disgruntled person that was mentioned in a blog can’t come back with a vengeance. It seems the number of lawsuits against bloggers have increased from 4 to 89 over the last ten years. But that didn’t seem like a crazy number considering the millions of crazy bloggers out there. Percentage wise…crazy lawsuits to crazy bloggers…not so bad.
I thought blogger insurance was an interesting concept and I appreciated that my good friend, Mickster passed the information along to me…until I remembered he’s an attorney and his wife is linnyj. Yikes.
After that realization…I quickly scoured through the past 270 blogs I’ve written. I combed through them word-by-word looking for any references to linnyj…wondering if I said anything about her that could be used in a court of law against me. I can see it now…my blogging career blowing up in my face…Boom…because of something I said about linnyj. Let’s see…there was that time I razzed her about the 5K race, Camp Linnyj…oh, and about Cancun. But I am making her famous….so there is an upside to being slandered in the Kat blog.
Now I’m thinking…I better get a policy to cover my ass….again, with the body parts insurance. Mariah has her legs and I have my ass……..to take care of.
I wonder what my legs could be insured for…probably $2.50 for the pair…tops. I’m thinking of looking into some insurance for my most admired body part…my fingers…very valuable tool for bloggers. One accidental slice with my chain saw…and my blogging career is over.
Fortunately now bloggers everywhere can breathe a sigh of relief...the world has invented blogger insurance. Bloggers can be protected from charges brought against them for defamation and invasion of privacy. So now some disgruntled person that was mentioned in a blog can’t come back with a vengeance. It seems the number of lawsuits against bloggers have increased from 4 to 89 over the last ten years. But that didn’t seem like a crazy number considering the millions of crazy bloggers out there. Percentage wise…crazy lawsuits to crazy bloggers…not so bad.
I thought blogger insurance was an interesting concept and I appreciated that my good friend, Mickster passed the information along to me…until I remembered he’s an attorney and his wife is linnyj. Yikes.
After that realization…I quickly scoured through the past 270 blogs I’ve written. I combed through them word-by-word looking for any references to linnyj…wondering if I said anything about her that could be used in a court of law against me. I can see it now…my blogging career blowing up in my face…Boom…because of something I said about linnyj. Let’s see…there was that time I razzed her about the 5K race, Camp Linnyj…oh, and about Cancun. But I am making her famous….so there is an upside to being slandered in the Kat blog.
Now I’m thinking…I better get a policy to cover my ass….again, with the body parts insurance. Mariah has her legs and I have my ass……..to take care of.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Book Club Slacker Reform Thyself
I have a confession to make: I have been a book club slacker. For the many years that we have had the club, I have read every single book, but the last two months…I admit, I fell off the page.
It’s not like I didn’t read the book because I was protesting, or because I had better things to do, but hmmmm…why? Maybe I wanted to see what life was like on the slacker side. I’m just such a rules person…maybe I wanted to feel what it is like to wing it….Booyah.
So the past two months I have gone to the book club dinner…with the intention of…faking it when it came to discussion of the book. I figured I’d just bluff my way through. Besides, I figured who would notice? After all, we give the book as much attention as a gnit or is that a gnat.
So Marilin began a very engaging discussion about the book. Seeing I had nothing intelligent to add to the conversation…I just nodded in agreement with her. Then she made the comment: "Did you see how the author never uses the girl’s name?" So with zippo clue to what she was talking about, I just repeated…"Yes...the author never uses the girl’s name." Two minutes were up…book discussion over. I’ll have another chardonnay…thank you very much.
So I figured out the trick to covering up slacking. All you have to do is ‘nod and then repeat’. It’s so easy…I’m sure there wasn’t a book club soul at the table who didn’t know I was slacking.
After I came to this slacker realization…I looked around the table. Hmmm…my friend over there. What is she contributing to the conversation? I see she’s smiling and listening. Wait, she is nodding …we are both nodding. Oh, and now she is repeating…we are both repeating. Ah ha…I might not have read the book…but I totally read her…she’s a book club slacker too.
Nod and repeat…after me.
I can’t continue to lead the life of a book club slacker...with no book spine. I will fry in book club hell.
Book club slacker, reform thyself…
It’s not like I didn’t read the book because I was protesting, or because I had better things to do, but hmmmm…why? Maybe I wanted to see what life was like on the slacker side. I’m just such a rules person…maybe I wanted to feel what it is like to wing it….Booyah.
So the past two months I have gone to the book club dinner…with the intention of…faking it when it came to discussion of the book. I figured I’d just bluff my way through. Besides, I figured who would notice? After all, we give the book as much attention as a gnit or is that a gnat.
So Marilin began a very engaging discussion about the book. Seeing I had nothing intelligent to add to the conversation…I just nodded in agreement with her. Then she made the comment: "Did you see how the author never uses the girl’s name?" So with zippo clue to what she was talking about, I just repeated…"Yes...the author never uses the girl’s name." Two minutes were up…book discussion over. I’ll have another chardonnay…thank you very much.
So I figured out the trick to covering up slacking. All you have to do is ‘nod and then repeat’. It’s so easy…I’m sure there wasn’t a book club soul at the table who didn’t know I was slacking.
After I came to this slacker realization…I looked around the table. Hmmm…my friend over there. What is she contributing to the conversation? I see she’s smiling and listening. Wait, she is nodding …we are both nodding. Oh, and now she is repeating…we are both repeating. Ah ha…I might not have read the book…but I totally read her…she’s a book club slacker too.
Nod and repeat…after me.
I can’t continue to lead the life of a book club slacker...with no book spine. I will fry in book club hell.
Book club slacker, reform thyself…
Monday, November 24, 2008
Kid Influence
You know the saying “kids keep you young.” Question: “Why the heck all the gray hair?”
Maybe at some level, kids do keep you young. When I think about it…I know lots of cool stuff because of our kids. Like I knew about this 'Twilight' phenomenon waaaaaaaay before it was main stream. Wishy had read the books so I was clued in. (Boy, am I kicking myself that I didn’t come up with a teenage vampire book.) And she also introduced me to the new Taylor Swift CD (boy, am I kicking myself that I wasn’t 35 years younger and had talent.) Yep…my kids have instructed me in downloads, uploads, and not to mention…numerous loads of laundry.
Colinboy does his part to keep us hip to all the latest bands and music…and also the latest slang. I am so down with the lingo…Peace Out girl scout.
And Chelsea keeps us abreast of the fashion trends…which is an interesting word choice…as that is what is seen in fashion magazines these days.
So if we didn’t have our kids to keep us young, dear PaulA and I would be a couple of turnips on a log…couple of bumps on a truck…or is that the other way around? I could just picture….........The Life of PaulA and Kat:
PaulA walks in the door at the end of the day…and I pull myself away from watching Alex Trebek. PaulA would say, “How was your day Kat? And I would say, “just fine Ward, I mean PaulA.” We would play Paul Anka on our CD player while we sat at the dining room table and ate our meatloaf. After dinner, I would show him the colorful toe socks I bought myself at the TajMaMall…and the gray cable wool vest with the extra deep pockets for his new handkerchiefs that I got for him.
But instead we have been influenced by our 3 musketeers…Big C, Colinboy and Wishy and…so the Life of PaulA and Kat is a little different:
PaulA walks in the door at the end of the day…and I pull myself away from blogging… “Hey PaulA, Waz up dude?” “NMU, Kat?” We decide to download the new Dear Havanah song recently released by Veggie Co. Records to our iPod. Then upload pics from our digital camera to our computer to be printed out at Walgreens, and catch up on a Grey’s Anatomy on the DVR later in the evening. But then we might call some peeps over and chill, or play rock band on the Xbox. Or stay in and have a little sushi at the coffee table. I show PaulA the new Sevens jeans I bought myself online and the Tommy Bahama shirt that I got for him.
So…Big C, Colinboy and Wishy …have saved us from Paul Anka, toe socks, Alex Trebek, handkerchiefs, and meatloaf…although I could easily be convinced in all of the above.
Maybe at some level, kids do keep you young. When I think about it…I know lots of cool stuff because of our kids. Like I knew about this 'Twilight' phenomenon waaaaaaaay before it was main stream. Wishy had read the books so I was clued in. (Boy, am I kicking myself that I didn’t come up with a teenage vampire book.) And she also introduced me to the new Taylor Swift CD (boy, am I kicking myself that I wasn’t 35 years younger and had talent.) Yep…my kids have instructed me in downloads, uploads, and not to mention…numerous loads of laundry.
Colinboy does his part to keep us hip to all the latest bands and music…and also the latest slang. I am so down with the lingo…Peace Out girl scout.
And Chelsea keeps us abreast of the fashion trends…which is an interesting word choice…as that is what is seen in fashion magazines these days.
So if we didn’t have our kids to keep us young, dear PaulA and I would be a couple of turnips on a log…couple of bumps on a truck…or is that the other way around? I could just picture….........The Life of PaulA and Kat:
PaulA walks in the door at the end of the day…and I pull myself away from watching Alex Trebek. PaulA would say, “How was your day Kat? And I would say, “just fine Ward, I mean PaulA.” We would play Paul Anka on our CD player while we sat at the dining room table and ate our meatloaf. After dinner, I would show him the colorful toe socks I bought myself at the TajMaMall…and the gray cable wool vest with the extra deep pockets for his new handkerchiefs that I got for him.
But instead we have been influenced by our 3 musketeers…Big C, Colinboy and Wishy and…so the Life of PaulA and Kat is a little different:
PaulA walks in the door at the end of the day…and I pull myself away from blogging… “Hey PaulA, Waz up dude?” “NMU, Kat?” We decide to download the new Dear Havanah song recently released by Veggie Co. Records to our iPod. Then upload pics from our digital camera to our computer to be printed out at Walgreens, and catch up on a Grey’s Anatomy on the DVR later in the evening. But then we might call some peeps over and chill, or play rock band on the Xbox. Or stay in and have a little sushi at the coffee table. I show PaulA the new Sevens jeans I bought myself online and the Tommy Bahama shirt that I got for him.
So…Big C, Colinboy and Wishy …have saved us from Paul Anka, toe socks, Alex Trebek, handkerchiefs, and meatloaf…although I could easily be convinced in all of the above.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Saggers Beware
I don't talk politics...mainly because I'm not a talking head...but I admit it…I didn’t vote for Barack Obama. I do appreciate his intellect, captivating speeches and his winning smile, but not his share the wealth ideology. I do believe in sharing though…it’s the kind-hearted thing to do and I was taught this in kindergarten (Isn’t that a book?…All I Really Need to Know I learned in Kindergarten) However, I think regular Joe Six-Pack spreads the wealth around just by using his hard earned income to buy things, in effect, stimulating the economy. I do believe in helping folks out…but I also believe in getting out there and working hard for the American Dream. Wait, oh that’s right…I’m not working…thanks, for reminding me…but I tell my kids to do this.
Moving ahead further with my diatribe…onto the lighter side of politics. If I had heard Obama make the following comment about saggers during his campaign for President…he would have had me at "Change." I just might have jumped on the Obama Express.
Obama’s comment: "Here is my attitude: I think people passing a law against people wearing sagging pants is a waste of time. We should be focused on creating jobs, improving our schools, health care, dealing with the war in Iraq , and anybody, any public official, that is worrying about sagging pants probably needs to spend some time focusing on real problems out there. Having said that, brothers should pull up their pants. You are walking by your mother, your grandmother, your underwear is showing. What's wrong with that? Come on. There are some issues that we face, that you don't have to pass a law, but that doesn't mean folks can't have some sense and some respect for other people and, you know, some people might not want to see your underwear -- I'm one of them."
This was a direct quote from Obama and I applaud him. G.Q. Public does not like to see underwear exposed…and I’m not just talking about the elastic band of boxers. I’m talking about pants that are only pulled up to around the butt or below the butt…not even close to the hips. It just looks silly…not to mention that saggy pants make legs look 12 inches tall. I realize that not all brothers sag. My bro doesn’t…so Obama would approve of Steverino.
It is interesting that you never see a woman wearing saggy pants. What woman wants her legs to look a foot long? Women are just smart like that.
So Saggers beware…pull your pants up. Otherwise, Obama is gonna be on your ass.
Moving ahead further with my diatribe…onto the lighter side of politics. If I had heard Obama make the following comment about saggers during his campaign for President…he would have had me at "Change." I just might have jumped on the Obama Express.
Obama’s comment: "Here is my attitude: I think people passing a law against people wearing sagging pants is a waste of time. We should be focused on creating jobs, improving our schools, health care, dealing with the war in Iraq , and anybody, any public official, that is worrying about sagging pants probably needs to spend some time focusing on real problems out there. Having said that, brothers should pull up their pants. You are walking by your mother, your grandmother, your underwear is showing. What's wrong with that? Come on. There are some issues that we face, that you don't have to pass a law, but that doesn't mean folks can't have some sense and some respect for other people and, you know, some people might not want to see your underwear -- I'm one of them."
This was a direct quote from Obama and I applaud him. G.Q. Public does not like to see underwear exposed…and I’m not just talking about the elastic band of boxers. I’m talking about pants that are only pulled up to around the butt or below the butt…not even close to the hips. It just looks silly…not to mention that saggy pants make legs look 12 inches tall. I realize that not all brothers sag. My bro doesn’t…so Obama would approve of Steverino.
It is interesting that you never see a woman wearing saggy pants. What woman wants her legs to look a foot long? Women are just smart like that.
So Saggers beware…pull your pants up. Otherwise, Obama is gonna be on your ass.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Name Change
Did you hear Beyonce changed her name for her new album that dropped this month? I guess Beyonce was just too…ho hum…run of the mill. Karen, Kathy, Linda, Beyonce, Nancy, Mary. See how her name just runs together with all the other common names. It doesn’t have a chance of standing out and getting noticed. There are other Beyonces in the world….I understand why she wouldn’t want to be confused with the other 2. Why not change your name to Sasha Fierce?
Well lots of reasons…it is a stupid name. I like Sasha as a first name…but Fierce is an adjective not a last name. I guess it sounds better than Sasha Savage…which sounds like a sausage link when you say it out loud.
Remember when Prince changed his name…to a symbol? Now that was creative. His symbol is unpronounceable…it can only be written. So he is referred to as: The Artist formerly known as Prince. I’m wondering what people call him in person…to his face? “Hey….Symbol.” “Hey…Artist.” Maybe they just pass him a note with his symbol on it. That is so damn cool….a name you can’t pronounce.
Why didn’t I think of having a symbol for a name….especially when the kids were little. “Family meeting…I’m officially changing my name. Mom is not my name anymore. Never refer to me as Mom again as I will not answer. If you need me…you’ll have to write my symbol down and pass it to me”….(but just try to catch me.)
Prince and Beyonce were actually born with cool names, so I’m not sure why they felt the need to change them. It’s people stuck with common names like Kathy that have to reinvent themselves…
Hmmmm…Why don’t I choose a new name? Maybe I should change my name with each season…Autumn in fall…Crystal in winter…Sultry in summer….and May Flowers in spring. Or best yet….
Stick with my favorite: Blogger Extraordinaire
Well lots of reasons…it is a stupid name. I like Sasha as a first name…but Fierce is an adjective not a last name. I guess it sounds better than Sasha Savage…which sounds like a sausage link when you say it out loud.
Remember when Prince changed his name…to a symbol? Now that was creative. His symbol is unpronounceable…it can only be written. So he is referred to as: The Artist formerly known as Prince. I’m wondering what people call him in person…to his face? “Hey….Symbol.” “Hey…Artist.” Maybe they just pass him a note with his symbol on it. That is so damn cool….a name you can’t pronounce.
Why didn’t I think of having a symbol for a name….especially when the kids were little. “Family meeting…I’m officially changing my name. Mom is not my name anymore. Never refer to me as Mom again as I will not answer. If you need me…you’ll have to write my symbol down and pass it to me”….(but just try to catch me.)
Prince and Beyonce were actually born with cool names, so I’m not sure why they felt the need to change them. It’s people stuck with common names like Kathy that have to reinvent themselves…
Hmmmm…Why don’t I choose a new name? Maybe I should change my name with each season…Autumn in fall…Crystal in winter…Sultry in summer….and May Flowers in spring. Or best yet….
Stick with my favorite: Blogger Extraordinaire
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