I just got over a nasty cold. The reason I knew it was nasty…other than the lack of energy, stuffy head, sore throat, nasal drip and coughing jags…PaulA and Sweet Wishy were staying clear of me. I am not a baby when it comes to colds, although I do whimper now and then…and sometimes I roll around in my bed and moan. I never take cold medication, not because I am a freak like Tom Cruise and not believe in meds…but I don’t think anything really helps except massive sleep. Everyone has their own way of handling a cold…and we are all a little different.
When PaulA gets a cold…he soldiers on. He doesn’t let it stop him. He gets up and goes to work. He marches on…through the daily trenches of life. (So dramatic.)
When Colinboy gets a cold…he has to first make sure it is a cold…and not a rare disease from South Africa. He goes online to WebMD, researches his symptoms to rule out diseases such as necrotizing fasciitis…that nasty flesh-eating disease. He makes sure he is going to live another day.
When Chelsea gets a cold…she deals with it…as long as there something she can take. She wants it over and over now. A trip to CVS, down the cold remedies aisle, and she is set to go…with a med for every symptom.
When Bri gets a cold…she never says a word about…let alone complain. She can have something wrong with her and I’m the last to know. Turns out last spring she had Mono and was walking around with a swollen neck gland for 10 days before she decided to show me the tree trunk she had for a neck.
Yes, the 5 of us are all different…but if you take the good parts of how we each handle a cold and combine them…we are:
The perfect cold patient: Someone who…doesn’t complain to anyone…and after ruling out Ebola disease from the Sudan …and taking massive meds…soldiers on through their day…and gets to bed early.
Together we are the perfect cold patient.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Monday, November 10, 2008
Hat Please
I picked Duncandog up from the groomer after his haircut and I hardly recognized him. He was more shaven than cut. I wonder if Duncan wanted to cry. If he did…I would totally understand. I’ve been there….women everywhere have been there…the bad haircut.
Once years ago when I was shopping at the Taj MaMall with my sister, Jayniebug…We entered a hair salon…which was really a butcher shop with a fancy façade. On a whim I decided to get a hair cut. Not exactly sure why I would do this…I have to blame someone…so I’ll blame Jayniebug …
Anyway, the salonSLASHbutchershop could take me right away. That should have been a red flag right there. So I sat down in the chair and my sister sat next to me in the open chair …hello, a second red flag. Edward Scissorshands (third flag) pulled out her hedge clippers, and started to work. With one cut, massive amounts of my hair fell to the floor. I couldn’t really see what was happening because she was working on the back…and I don’t have eyes in the back of my head…although my kids were always sure I did.
I knew I was in trouble by watching my sister. I could see her face in the mirror as she watched the woman slowly butcher me. With each cut, Jayniebug winced a little more…and then a little more. She didn’t want to be impolite to the hairdresserSLASHER butcher…but yelling “STOP the madness” would have been a good idea. Instead she just made faces. After 10 minutes…I could hardly recognize my own sister. Her face was so contorted…she looked like W. C. fields smelling dirty gym socks.
The woman could tell by the tears streaming down my face that I was less than happy with the hack job she had just performed on my head…so she charged me less. I tried to be adult about it. So I got up from the chair…threw the money on the floor and stomped out of there. Okay, I didn’t do that, but that is what I wanted to do.
Instead, I went home…cried some more…and put on a hat. I am not a hat person, but I quickly became Kat in the Hat. At least I had the option of wearing one…poor Duncandog wasn’t as fortunate.
Once years ago when I was shopping at the Taj MaMall with my sister, Jayniebug…We entered a hair salon…which was really a butcher shop with a fancy façade. On a whim I decided to get a hair cut. Not exactly sure why I would do this…I have to blame someone…so I’ll blame Jayniebug …
Anyway, the salonSLASHbutchershop could take me right away. That should have been a red flag right there. So I sat down in the chair and my sister sat next to me in the open chair …hello, a second red flag. Edward Scissorshands (third flag) pulled out her hedge clippers, and started to work. With one cut, massive amounts of my hair fell to the floor. I couldn’t really see what was happening because she was working on the back…and I don’t have eyes in the back of my head…although my kids were always sure I did.
I knew I was in trouble by watching my sister. I could see her face in the mirror as she watched the woman slowly butcher me. With each cut, Jayniebug winced a little more…and then a little more. She didn’t want to be impolite to the hairdresserSLASHER butcher…but yelling “STOP the madness” would have been a good idea. Instead she just made faces. After 10 minutes…I could hardly recognize my own sister. Her face was so contorted…she looked like W. C. fields smelling dirty gym socks.
The woman could tell by the tears streaming down my face that I was less than happy with the hack job she had just performed on my head…so she charged me less. I tried to be adult about it. So I got up from the chair…threw the money on the floor and stomped out of there. Okay, I didn’t do that, but that is what I wanted to do.
Instead, I went home…cried some more…and put on a hat. I am not a hat person, but I quickly became Kat in the Hat. At least I had the option of wearing one…poor Duncandog wasn’t as fortunate.
Friday, November 7, 2008
PackKat
Are you a pack rat? I wouldn’t say I was...maybe a packKat. I don’t hoard hair balls or anything, but I do find it hard to get rid of things, especially the kid’s things. So consequentially we have their old crib, cradle, clothes, toys…all a pale yellow and neatly stored in our basement. Okay, I lied. There are those worse than me. Oprah had a woman on her show who couldn’t stop buying stuff…she could hardly move around her house. At least I contain my mess to my basement.
The entrance to my storage side of the basement should come with a warning: “Danger. Do not go in there.” When I do decide to clean it out…I always start with good intentions. “Today, I am throwing all this shit away.” Then I pick one thing up …. “Awww. I remember when Colinboy puked on this…his first puke.” I never get anywhere. I even have some of the groovy clothes I wore in high school and college.
There is an upside to all this. This packKat stuff comes in handy. When Bri has to dress in some crazy outfit for lacrosse team spirit…and needs to be a cowgirl...got her covered. Needs to be hippie…got her covered. Needs to be a bridesmaid…she’s covered 5 times over. And when Colinboy needed stuff for his apartment…he got great deals in Kat’s Basement...Come on down!
I know I should have a tag sale, rummage sale, selling crap sale…or whatever you want to call it sale…but I just can’t stomach pulling that stuff out of my basement, setting it up, figuring out a price, haggling with cheap sons-of-guns, slashing the price, barely making a hundred dollars and then hauling the crap back to the basement or dump.
Light bulb moment: I think I’ll bring everyone to me…have a sale where everyone goes into my basement. I’ll let them go downstairs, paw through my crap, I mean my valuables…and let them haul it out of there themselves. Besides I think I might even make more money. People always feel like they are getting a deal when they have to go through piles, bins, and shelves …and fight each other off for stuff. It would be like a T.J. Maxx...ala Kat.
Yea…that’s what I’ll call it…T.J. Katt. And my slogan: “You get the MOSTEST from the LEASTEST at T.J. Katt.” Sing it with me, folks.
The entrance to my storage side of the basement should come with a warning: “Danger. Do not go in there.” When I do decide to clean it out…I always start with good intentions. “Today, I am throwing all this shit away.” Then I pick one thing up …. “Awww. I remember when Colinboy puked on this…his first puke.” I never get anywhere. I even have some of the groovy clothes I wore in high school and college.
There is an upside to all this. This packKat stuff comes in handy. When Bri has to dress in some crazy outfit for lacrosse team spirit…and needs to be a cowgirl...got her covered. Needs to be hippie…got her covered. Needs to be a bridesmaid…she’s covered 5 times over. And when Colinboy needed stuff for his apartment…he got great deals in Kat’s Basement...Come on down!
I know I should have a tag sale, rummage sale, selling crap sale…or whatever you want to call it sale…but I just can’t stomach pulling that stuff out of my basement, setting it up, figuring out a price, haggling with cheap sons-of-guns, slashing the price, barely making a hundred dollars and then hauling the crap back to the basement or dump.
Light bulb moment: I think I’ll bring everyone to me…have a sale where everyone goes into my basement. I’ll let them go downstairs, paw through my crap, I mean my valuables…and let them haul it out of there themselves. Besides I think I might even make more money. People always feel like they are getting a deal when they have to go through piles, bins, and shelves …and fight each other off for stuff. It would be like a T.J. Maxx...ala Kat.
Yea…that’s what I’ll call it…T.J. Katt. And my slogan: “You get the MOSTEST from the LEASTEST at T.J. Katt.” Sing it with me, folks.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Some Guidance
I can’t imagine working in the Guidance Office right now...a bustling hub of activity with high school seniors applying to college. I only have one kid I’m trying to make sure gets into school…I can’t imagine 250.
The Guidance Office does a great job of keeping everything organized and answering questions from students and parents. And they don’t go GUIDANCE on you. (That’s like going POSTAL, but at the Guidance Office.) I could never work there…I would go GUIDANCE at least once a day. The whole college application process is so stressful, that it puts students and parents in a state of panic.
Students are applying to numerous schools because colleges make them feel that if you aren’t the ‘best slice in the loaf of life’…you won’t get in. So students second guess themselves: What if I don’t get in to XYZ College? Gee, I always thought I was a good student. (But you did get that B minus in Spanish class...Remember, you (accidently) said a swear word in Espanol. Who knew?)
So what do you do? You apply to numerous schools….JUST IN CASE! You look for schools you deem as your safety school, your reach school, your reach school that is a safety-reach, your safety school that is a reach-safety……it just keeps going and going.
Before you know it you’ve applied to 15-20 schools, your family is out-of-pocket 1200 dollars, and you still think you aren’t getting in anywhere. (Maybe there’s a good safety school in Idaho…with a safely reachable altitude.)
Then you try to come up with some strategy to the application process. Do I apply Early Decision, Early Action, or Regular Decision? Early Decision is binding, so it hurts…and Early Action is loose…I mean, non-binding so it doesn’t hurt as much. It seems students aren’t going for the Regular anymore…probably because of the name…it’s just so plain. If they called the Regular Action…Prize Action…students would be all over it.
Then there is standardized testing strategy. The SAT or the ACT…which do I take? Which initials look better? Do I send my scores? Or do I hide my scores under my mashed potatoes? Should I take the tests four times or will I look too desperate? Or do I look for a school that is a kinder, gentler school not requiring standardized tests? (Maybe a school in Idaho that doesn’t believe in stamping numbers on students…only their cattle.)
After the Nov. 1st Early Action date passes…there is a lull. A very short lull when the Guidance Office can catch a breath…until kids start to hear from colleges. Then the stress returns. It turns out the college in Idaho that was supposed to be a safety school within a safety-reach, was actually a safety school within a reach-safety…and although the SATs were not required, they required better grades in Spanish….and the application should have gone binding Early Decision instead of loose Early Action.…..Ahhhhhhhhh. What happens now?
Here’s some guidance: Go ahead and call the Guidance Office. Just remember they have 249 other kids to guide through the college application process…so don’t go GUIDANCE on them.
The Guidance Office does a great job of keeping everything organized and answering questions from students and parents. And they don’t go GUIDANCE on you. (That’s like going POSTAL, but at the Guidance Office.) I could never work there…I would go GUIDANCE at least once a day. The whole college application process is so stressful, that it puts students and parents in a state of panic.
Students are applying to numerous schools because colleges make them feel that if you aren’t the ‘best slice in the loaf of life’…you won’t get in. So students second guess themselves: What if I don’t get in to XYZ College? Gee, I always thought I was a good student. (But you did get that B minus in Spanish class...Remember, you (accidently) said a swear word in Espanol. Who knew?)
So what do you do? You apply to numerous schools….JUST IN CASE! You look for schools you deem as your safety school, your reach school, your reach school that is a safety-reach, your safety school that is a reach-safety……it just keeps going and going.
Before you know it you’ve applied to 15-20 schools, your family is out-of-pocket 1200 dollars, and you still think you aren’t getting in anywhere. (Maybe there’s a good safety school in Idaho…with a safely reachable altitude.)
Then you try to come up with some strategy to the application process. Do I apply Early Decision, Early Action, or Regular Decision? Early Decision is binding, so it hurts…and Early Action is loose…I mean, non-binding so it doesn’t hurt as much. It seems students aren’t going for the Regular anymore…probably because of the name…it’s just so plain. If they called the Regular Action…Prize Action…students would be all over it.
Then there is standardized testing strategy. The SAT or the ACT…which do I take? Which initials look better? Do I send my scores? Or do I hide my scores under my mashed potatoes? Should I take the tests four times or will I look too desperate? Or do I look for a school that is a kinder, gentler school not requiring standardized tests? (Maybe a school in Idaho that doesn’t believe in stamping numbers on students…only their cattle.)
After the Nov. 1st Early Action date passes…there is a lull. A very short lull when the Guidance Office can catch a breath…until kids start to hear from colleges. Then the stress returns. It turns out the college in Idaho that was supposed to be a safety school within a safety-reach, was actually a safety school within a reach-safety…and although the SATs were not required, they required better grades in Spanish….and the application should have gone binding Early Decision instead of loose Early Action.…..Ahhhhhhhhh. What happens now?
Here’s some guidance: Go ahead and call the Guidance Office. Just remember they have 249 other kids to guide through the college application process…so don’t go GUIDANCE on them.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Yes We Can
Barack Obama-The First African-American President of the United States of America.
Congratulations to Barack Obama and to our country! Regardless of your political stance, whether you paint your face red or blue, or whether you feel you are gonna get taxed up the ying yang…I don’t think there is anyone out there that doesn’t feel the historical significance of the result of this Presidential election.
The country spoke…in fact, it appears they shouted. “Yes we can.” AND “Yes we did.”
Personally, I can’t imagine why Obama or McCain would want the job of President. Except for maybe the cool digs, personal jet, extensive travel with first class accomodations, yummy food, access to rock stars and Hollywood types and POWER…POWER…POWER.
This Presidential election was to be an election of Firsts…regardless of who won. First Mavericky Oldest White Guy. First Woman Gun Toting Moose Hunting Vice President. First Dude. In the end, Americans decided that…First African-American President...had a better ring.
With Election 2008…we showed we are not a white, black, Latino or Asian America, but a United States of America. We are a great land of opportunity...where all things are possible. Doors have been opened: We can look forward to four years from now…Say it with me folks….Kat – The First Blogger President of the United States of America…2012. Yes we can.
Congratulations to Barack Obama and to our country! Regardless of your political stance, whether you paint your face red or blue, or whether you feel you are gonna get taxed up the ying yang…I don’t think there is anyone out there that doesn’t feel the historical significance of the result of this Presidential election.
The country spoke…in fact, it appears they shouted. “Yes we can.” AND “Yes we did.”
Personally, I can’t imagine why Obama or McCain would want the job of President. Except for maybe the cool digs, personal jet, extensive travel with first class accomodations, yummy food, access to rock stars and Hollywood types and POWER…POWER…POWER.
This Presidential election was to be an election of Firsts…regardless of who won. First Mavericky Oldest White Guy. First Woman Gun Toting Moose Hunting Vice President. First Dude. In the end, Americans decided that…First African-American President...had a better ring.
With Election 2008…we showed we are not a white, black, Latino or Asian America, but a United States of America. We are a great land of opportunity...where all things are possible. Doors have been opened: We can look forward to four years from now…Say it with me folks….Kat – The First Blogger President of the United States of America…2012. Yes we can.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Just VOTE
Who ya voting for? Come on, you can tell me. I won’t tell anyone.
What? Not gonna share? Some people are very private about their voting. They feel it is their own business and don’t feel the need to share…or make their politics someone else’s. Papa Joe was this way. He always said his vote was private…his own business. He wouldn’t even tell Nana. (Let alone put it in a blog for all to see.)
I ,too, follow Papa Joe’s thought on keeping my vote private. I don’t feel the need to share either. Although I will share that I enjoyed being Sarah Palin for a night…Halloween night. (And PaulA made a cute Joe the Plumber.) But I am not gonna spill the beans in this blog about who I am voting for. I would never want to influence your decision and make you doubt your own choice. I realize the enormous impact Kat-Blogger Extraordinaire has on blogworld…especially with the limitless numbers of readers following every word. I wouldn’t want to be responsible for interfering in American politics.
I will keep this blog short today…this beautiful fall day…because I am leaving soon to do my civic duty and VOTE…and I have a tee time with Pia this morning.
So………‘My friends’, I am off. I am feeling a little ‘mavericky’ so I might ‘change’ the usual route I take to the voting polls, right after I put ‘lipstick on a pig’…...
Whoever you vote for….Just VOTE.
What? Not gonna share? Some people are very private about their voting. They feel it is their own business and don’t feel the need to share…or make their politics someone else’s. Papa Joe was this way. He always said his vote was private…his own business. He wouldn’t even tell Nana. (Let alone put it in a blog for all to see.)
I ,too, follow Papa Joe’s thought on keeping my vote private. I don’t feel the need to share either. Although I will share that I enjoyed being Sarah Palin for a night…Halloween night. (And PaulA made a cute Joe the Plumber.) But I am not gonna spill the beans in this blog about who I am voting for. I would never want to influence your decision and make you doubt your own choice. I realize the enormous impact Kat-Blogger Extraordinaire has on blogworld…especially with the limitless numbers of readers following every word. I wouldn’t want to be responsible for interfering in American politics.
I will keep this blog short today…this beautiful fall day…because I am leaving soon to do my civic duty and VOTE…and I have a tee time with Pia this morning.
So………‘My friends’, I am off. I am feeling a little ‘mavericky’ so I might ‘change’ the usual route I take to the voting polls, right after I put ‘lipstick on a pig’…...
Whoever you vote for….Just VOTE.
Monday, November 3, 2008
To-do List
I love a To-do List. It keeps me organized, so nothing falls through the cracks. No appointments get missed…no one left at the bus station for 20 minutes…what son? Or left at the kennel another night...what dog?
I’ve got lists…sub-lists, mini-lists and midnite-lists. Many nights I wake at 3:11 am and start forming lists in my head…which keeps me awake for hours…memorizing tasks. Now I keep a pen and paper by my bedside so I can unload all these thoughts…declutter my pea brain…so I can get some sleep. Plus a EUREKA moment for the best blog ever written can come anytime. This blog…proof positive.
The best part of a To-do List is crossing items off. Bri and I are both like this…and I’m sure lots of you are too. We will write something down on our list…even something that we have already done…just so we can cross it off. There is so much satisfaction from crossing it off the List.
My To-do List…
#1. Wake up. (Oh, I’m awake…I can cross that off.)
#2. Drink coffee (last drop gone…cross it off.)
#3. Kick the dog…outside (Score: 20-yard field goal…cross it off.)
Some things on my To-do List get quickly crossed off…but then there are others that stay there for months…and even years.
#23. Make my root canal appointment…on the List for 2 months.
#45. Tell PaulA about the ‘ding’ on my car….on the List for 6 months.
#99. Organize the basement….on the List for 8 years.
#100. Get rid of the dog…on the List for10 years.
I’ve seen those small pocket recorders where you can record your To-do List…which sounds cool…but then you wouldn’t have the satisfaction of crossing it off. Although, I guess you could say… “check” when completed.
To-do List…testing one.....two...
Wake up……check
Drink coffee...check
Kick the dog outside…….check
Write a stupid blog….double check.
I’ve got lists…sub-lists, mini-lists and midnite-lists. Many nights I wake at 3:11 am and start forming lists in my head…which keeps me awake for hours…memorizing tasks. Now I keep a pen and paper by my bedside so I can unload all these thoughts…declutter my pea brain…so I can get some sleep. Plus a EUREKA moment for the best blog ever written can come anytime. This blog…proof positive.
The best part of a To-do List is crossing items off. Bri and I are both like this…and I’m sure lots of you are too. We will write something down on our list…even something that we have already done…just so we can cross it off. There is so much satisfaction from crossing it off the List.
My To-do List…
#1. Wake up. (Oh, I’m awake…I can cross that off.)
#2. Drink coffee (last drop gone…cross it off.)
#3. Kick the dog…outside (Score: 20-yard field goal…cross it off.)
Some things on my To-do List get quickly crossed off…but then there are others that stay there for months…and even years.
#23. Make my root canal appointment…on the List for 2 months.
#45. Tell PaulA about the ‘ding’ on my car….on the List for 6 months.
#99. Organize the basement….on the List for 8 years.
#100. Get rid of the dog…on the List for10 years.
I’ve seen those small pocket recorders where you can record your To-do List…which sounds cool…but then you wouldn’t have the satisfaction of crossing it off. Although, I guess you could say… “check” when completed.
To-do List…testing one.....two...
Wake up……check
Drink coffee...check
Kick the dog outside…….check
Write a stupid blog….double check.
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