Friday, November 27, 2020

Putting this on the Table

 We all know that 

Turkey 

takes center stage

for Thanksgiving dinner.

It wouldn't be a Thanksgiving feast 

without a domesticated pheasant.


But, every star needs a sidekick.

Bring on the side dishes.


What’s your favorite side dish?


My fav is the mashed potatoes…

no gravy, please.

A potato peel away from first is 

my cranberry sauce.

PaulA makes his own- cranorange sauce...

(Living in a cranHOUSE divided.) 



PaulA’s fav side dish is Uncle Alan’s Portuguese stuffing…

passed down from Alan’s Portuguese mama.  

Through the hands of 2 Portuguese and an Irishman...

nothing gets lost in translation.


On a savory note...

Northerners call it "stuffing"…

Southerners call it "dressing"  

and I hear 

Pennsylvanians call it "filling."

probably the ones from Philly


All I know is that

eating my fill of dressing stuffs me to the brim

which leads to extended time on the couch.


Anywhoooo…..


This Thanksgiving dinner will be a table for two... 

just PaulA and I.

Definitely a first.

I can't be sad

 cuz we will have 

our entire tribe for Christmas…

after they quarantine for 2 weeks before visiting. 

Plus, we are left with

more leftovers

AND

in addition to the

turkey and the fixin's,

I get to 

put this on the table.

Brianna & Christian are engaged.

                                        woo hoo

Move over Tom Turkey...

Brianna and Christian are the main event this Thanksgiving.


PaulA and I are so happy and excited.

We are gaining 

(other than apple pie pounds) 

a  smart, handsome, fun, loving and supportive

new son-in-law, Christian.


So going forward, 

we will have 8 adults at the grown-up table.

and a kid table currently at 2...and hopefully counting.


We are so Thankful 

for our family, our friends and 

the newly engaged lovebirds,

Brianna and Christian.


Happy Thanksgiving everyone

Friday, November 20, 2020

Monkey Balls

 A good workout may good for you, 

but some come with hidden perils 

so remember...

always treadmill carefully.


I’ve been walking outside these days 

to get 

my heart, lungs, and mind pumpin'.

I like to think of it as power walking 

but compared to PaulA’s pace…

it just might be a walk in the park.


So what are the perils of walking?  

Walking seems innocent enough, right?


Well believe me.....

it's fraught with perils...

stumbles, slips and spills,

bursitis, bunions, and blisters,

foot, knee, and ankle injuries.

oh yes. 


And the greatest peril of all...

objects falling from the sky.



Anywhooo….


On my last walk ….

out of nowhere…an object fell from the sky…

okay, from a tree.


Thud


I looked down to find 

a green cranial orb...

 that just barely missed my head.


I picked up the Martian brain and 

watched a white fluid ooze out from its impact with the ground….



thinking of what could have been.

I was not familiar with this green object 

or the tree it came from,

although I am very familiar with the maple tree 

and the sticky sap that lands on my car. 


I carried the orb home and googled it 

to find out 

it was the fruit from the Osage Orange tree…

Latin name:  Macular Pomifera… 

aka

Monkey ball 

and that Monkey balls can weigh from 1 to 5 pounds.  


My monkey ball weighed just over 1 pound 

(of course I weighed it)

which was heavy enough.

 Think of the physics

as the monkey ball came hurling my way;

like a full water bottle thrown at me.


If that monkey ball hit my head, 

it would have hurt…

or worse yet…

it would have knocked me into next week.


Now when I go for a walk I look for evidence of

fallen monkey balls.

monkey ball massacre



Before I take my next walk....

I’m headed to Home Depot 

to pick up a hard hat.


I can’t be too careful in a world full of 

monkey balls.


No more monkey balls falling on my head.


gotta admit, it's fun saying

"Monkey Balls."


Friday, November 13, 2020

Masking for a friend

 


Masks...

like them or dislike them, 

we are stuck with them 

to help slow the spread of Covid.  

So currently….

 I am masking for a friend and 

for my own ass health.


I hope you don’t mind me masking?  
What’s your massk look like lately? 

I have been wearing the blue disposable dealios…

until Chelsea upped my mask game and

bought me a couple cute(er) cloth masks

if there is such a thang.

I draw the line at coordinating them with outfits…at this point.


People have good intentions wearing masks, 

but aren't always wearing them correctly.

I'm pretty sure wearing them 

below the nose or

under the chin 

is like closing the barn door 

after the cows are out.*

*Vermonterism


I’m thinking if masks were made out of bacon, 

we would wear them over our nose and mouth. 

Bacon makes everything better.*

*another Vermonterism

*my mama's maiden name was Bacon

 


Anywhoooo.....


These days people are stashing masks everywhere 

so they have one when they need it.…

stuffed in pockets and purses, 

dangling from rearview windows; 

where high school graduation tassels or 

air fresheners used to hang. 

Eau de mask


I always keep a mask in my purse or in my car…

just in case...

which is perfect

IF I have my purse or my car.

 

This summer I found myself without both.

PaulA and I were visiting good friends on B.I.

and used their car to pick up some sandwiches. 

Riding shotgun with PaulA to pick up the order…

I headed to the take-out line outside…

but then realized I needed a mask to get them.  


Without my car and purse, I was one mask short of a sandwich.


So I went back to the car and 

I said to PaulA: “Honey, take your shirt off."

  PaulA replied:  "Really Kat?…right here, right now? in the car?"

me:  "Haha PaulA...you're funny…I need your shirt."


PaulA took his shirt off, 

tossed it to me and 

I wrapped it around my face.  

A size "L" cotton blend red t-shirt isn’t my best look 

but it passed as a face covering.

And no one gave me a second look or 

second guessed my mask game.

And super lucky for me, 

his shirt was still smelling downy fresh.


Going forward, I will continue 

masking for a friend 

and for myself.

Plus,

this is the closest I will ever get to being a 

superhero.


Admittedly so…

Catwoman 

looks way cooler in her mask

than this


Katwoman 

looks in hers.