Sunday, April 8, 2018

PaulA and The BoomeRING

As all you golf fans out there know 
today is Masters Sunday
which reminds me of a story I call 
"PaulA and The BoomeRING."
(Fore warning:  Kinda long...I failed to master a shorter version.
all bunker. ) 

With a show of ring fingers...
how many have lost their wedding bands
3 times?

3 times....
would be my hubby, PaulA.
PaulA swears it is
a hazard of playing golf
(along with lightening, 
wayward balls and 
an occasional gator.)

Lost Ring #1...course in Miami
After a round,
(of golf that is)... 
PaulA realized his wedding ring 
(that he had shoved in his pant's pocket before playing) 
was MIA. 
(MIA in MIA...
missing in Miami)
He left his business card at the Pro shop 
but after not hearing anything for 3 weeks,
he gave the Pro Shop a call.  
They had his ring 
but had lost his contact info.  
His ring had been run through the lawn mower…
still intact with a few
scratches, scrapes, and scuffs.
Ring Found.
insert golf clap here.

Lost Ring #2 - Golf Club of Avon.  
Again PaulA shoved his ring 
in his pant's pocket before playing
(when will this guy learn?) 
and par for the course...
 his ring went MIA.  
(MIA at the GCA)
A week later the groundskeeper found it 
after he heard it clinking through the lawn mower...   
more scratches, scrapes and scuffs.
Ring Found.
insert golf clap here

Lost Ring #3 - course in Nashville
Instead of shoving his ring in his pocket 
PaulA left his ring in the cup holder of his car. 
(can't fool this guy 3 times)
After the round...
 his ring finger was so swollen from the heat that
he slid it onto his pinky.
A few hours later, 
he noticed it was once again
(MIA in BNA)
After retracing his steps...
through the house, 
the Home Depot, 
the trash, 
the laundry, 
3 bags of dead grass 
he had raked out of the lawn 
before spreading grass seed by hand...
he came up with

Would we ever see his ring again?
Is PaulA trying to tell me something?

You can't play with the Lost and Found Gods 
3 times 
and expect a win.


A part of me had hope and an idea....
rent a metal detector.
After all, PaulA's ring was no ordinary ring.
This was 
surely it would find its way back.

So PaulA set to work nonchalantly walking around with a metal detector...
trying to look like this was perfectly normal behavior.

But after Day 1 of detecting nails 
and random things that go clink…
it was Nada.

However on Day 2 of the rental contract...
the BoomeRING spoke to PaulA 
Hey PaulA it's me over here….
and there it was
nestled on its side deep in the grass.

The BoomeRING found its way back….
onto the hands of PaulA.
Insert wild gallery cheers here.

Excuse me now while I
 take a chip shot and
Insert a PaulA penalty stroke.

PaulA was no match for the 

Happy Masters Sunday

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