Did I tell him?

 When you lose someone you love, 

they stay with you in the stories you tell 

and memories you hold close.

This past May, we lost our dear friend Billy.

Billy has given his family and friends a lifetime of memories. 

We all have countless “Billy stories,” and 

sharing them with one another brings 

comfort and definitely some laughs.

PaulA met Billy as a freshman at Villanova University.  

Two guys from 2 different “urbs.” 

Billy was from URBan Brooklyn NY

 

and 

PaulA from SubURBan Connecticut.

 Different but also similar…

both were from Irish Catholic families with 7 children. 

And PaulA remembers the night they bonded….

“It was a snowy night and they left the Villanova campus on foot 

with a case of beer…

climbing over stone walls onto private property with a stream, 

where they found a gazebo to hang out. 

There they sat for hours talking about every subject under the night sky…

school, family, life and music 

as a powdery snow fell around them. 

I said to PaulA…”

your story sounds like a love story.”  

And it was.  

Everyone loved Billy.

I first met Billy at 19 in Manhattan 

when Billy picked PaulA and I up in a box truck. 

It was my first trip to NYC.

Billy had a summer job delivering furniture and had one stop left. 

There I was, a wide-eyed girl from  VT,  

bouncing along on the bench seat over NYC street pot holes. 

Billy was unlike any person I had met…

with his Brooklyn accent, sarcasm, grit and his quick wit.  

I remembering thinking  “Billy is so cool.” 

I’m pretty sure I didn’t tell him that.

 It probably wasn’t cool to say “you’re cool”…

but I thought he was.

Not only did Billy love to read …

countless books, 

(trading book recs with his buddies),

newspapers (Daily News), 

and to write...

he also played guitar and sang.   

We were honored Billy and Terry 

played at our wedding ceremony…

44 years ago. 

I have such a fond memory of Billy and Colin 

playing together in Manomet. 

It happened organically … 

and we didn’t realize how special it was, until looking back.

 I always loved hearing Billy sing

which he would often do.

John Prine will always remind me of him.

I thought Billy had a good voice.  

I don’t know if I ever told him...I sure hope so.

 Billy was also a part of the few and the mighty 

who took the time to read my blog … 

and he would occasionally leave me a comment… 

signing it ”Billy A.”  

(Billy A. was a play on my PaulA nickname...

both with  "A" middle names.)

I like knowing I can go back and read Billy A’s comments.  

I sure hope I thanked him for reading.  

Anywhoooo….

Billy served as a NYC firefighter for over 20 years through 2002.  

I was proud of Billy and his dedication as a fireman including his 9/11 service.  

I never directly talked to him about 9/11. 

Billy never mentioned it.  And I couldn’t blame him.

Billy was a devoted husband and loving father of 3 girls.

We fondly remember trips together with our young families.  

Billy, Diane, Katie, Kerry and Chrissy

 have been stitched into the fabric of our lives 

for almost 50 years…

friends that feel like family.   

Our last visit with Billy was 

at his beautiful daughter Kerry’s wedding. 

At one point, I ended up sitting next to Billy, 

watching the fun on the dance floor. 

With the band playing, 

we couldn't get into a deep conversation, 

so we sat and took it all in. 

I  remember sitting next to him thinking...

this feels like one of those full circle moments, 

the kind that makes you pause and remember

all the fun

all the laughs

all the memories we collected

through our friendship.

  I was so happy for Billy and Diane.  

I’m pretty sure I told him that.

As time marches on, 

you always think there’s more time…

that there’s another 

day, 

month,

year 

around the corner. 

But when it changes, 

it changes… 

in an instant.

So now I tell myself…

so I'll never have to wonder… 

“Did I tell him? 

“Did he know how I felt?”

Don’t hold back on

words, 

love and

gratitude. 

Say it while you can."

Billy was 

one of a kind…

forever our kind.

This lyric perfectly captures how we feel…

'I thank the Lord for the people I have found.” 

"Mona Lisas and Mad hatters” by Elton John...

a Billy song.

And if perchance 

you are reading this blog, Billy A

we miss you

but we know 

you'll always be with us…

just a story and a song away.