Rooney's Rant Retires

Tick Tick Tick Tick Tick

The “tick” I’m referring to is the sound of Andy Rooney’s final minutes
on 60 Minutes.

Did you happen to see Andy Rooney's final piece/last gasp?

Andy's last hurrah, for me,
felt more like...hooray.”

I admit, I have mixed feelings about Andy’s departure.

The traditionalist in me will miss the curmudgeon
we've all grown accustomed to seeing every Sunday evening.
But, the scoffer in me will NOT miss his weekly RANT.

You think Oscar the Grouch lives on Sesame Street?
I swear there is a trash can outside the 60 Minutes studio with the words:
“Andy the Grouch Lives Here. Don’t Make Me Flip My Lid.”

His segment... “A Few minutes with Andy Rooney”
was like sitting down with a crotchety, cantankerous, crabby not-so great grandfather.
At 93, it probably was about time Andy retired.
 I think anyone at age 93, working their day job, should be forced into a time out.

Anywhoooooo......

Andy Rooney has had a dream job for 30+ years.
Who wouldn’t want a job where you could spew and spout for 3 minutes
about anyone and anything that gets under your skin?

Heck, hire me for the dream job.
We’ll call it “A Few Minutes in Kat’s Krappy Korner.”

I already have my first commentary ready.
Here is goes.....

“You know what bothers me?
Old guys with wild and unruly eyebrows.
Take Andy Rooney’s bushy eyebrows. (Please)

Why did we have to look at those white squirrels for eyebrows, all those years?
 I found them very distracting; scampering above his eyes.
There had to be a stylist at 60 Minutes
who could have
tamed them and shaped them into something smaller...
maybe a couple of cute chipmunks.

Tick Tick Tick Tick Tick

Wait, is that the sound of my commentary...

about to bomb?