Sneeze Envy

Some folks sneeze like it’s their job. ..that would be PaulA…and he’s damn good at both.

If he eats a piece of chocolate, he’s good for a sneeze…and if he looks into the sun, he can hit a 3 or a 4 on the sneezer meter.

I like sneezing, but I rarely have the pleasure. I just wish I had more opportunities to experience a sneeze. People like PaulA get all the luck when it comes to gesundheits. But after PaulA has showed-off his sneezing ability in front of me...with 3 or 4 consecutive sneezes…it makes me crazy.

Okay, I admit it…I have sneeze envy.

When PaulA sneezes, I politely say, “Bless you.” I’ll even bless random strangers who I hear sneezing. The priest in me rises from within and I bestow blessings to those around me. After I bless PaulA once, bless him twice, bless him a third time…I figure he’s been blessed enough. Then I politely yell …“CUT IT OUT.”

I need to learn to control my sneeze envy.

Sometimes when I feel a little tickle in my nose, I get excited for an impending sneeze. Aaaaaahhhhh…yes...here is comes. But when my eyes start to water, I know it is just a sneeze tease. I guess that puts me in the sneeze flunkie category.

Anywho…………..

I’ve tried everything to make sneezes come. I’ve even resorted to artificial starters…onions and pepper. Nope. No sneeze. I have also thought about catching the common cold, but that seems a little extreme…even for me. Maybe I could develop a little allergy.

So the sad truth is………

I'm green with sneeze envy. (For some reason, that sounds a little gross.)

ps. I realize this blog blows. Bless you for reading it.