Ship Ahoy

Just when I think I’m going to break down and consider going on a cruise…I read about people getting sick. Recently 350 people on Celebrity Cruise Lines were taken ill. What’s the deal? I thought the food was supposed to be good on a cruise. Apparently not…or maybe it is so good, people don’t know when to stop eating.

Any who……………

Before I chip ahoy…like I said, ship ahoy…I need to revisit the idea of cruising. I have a lot of questions that need to be answered before I will board the USS Contaminate:

Does the cruise ship have enough blow bags and toilets to handle a grunge catastrophe?

Does Dramamine work…or only add to the drama?

Do you feel trapped like mice…cruising with as many people that could fill your town?

Would I really want to go on vacation with every mouse/rat from my town?

Do you really have to wear a moo moo onboard? Or is okay to just look like one?

Do strangers with bad table manners join you for dinner?

Have they ever left anyone at a rum runner bar and shipped off without them?

Has anyone fallen overboard by accident…or are they usually pushed overboard by their husband or fiancé, and made to look like an accident?

Is shuffleboard still wildly popular?

Is the crew as professional as that of “The Love Boat?”

Will Donna Summer songs be playing in the discotechque?

Is everything really all inclusive, or is there a drink limit…during happy hour?

Is everything really all inclusive, or is there a lap dance limit…during happy hour?

Does the Captain have nice quarters…or more dime a dozen?

Unless these questions are answered, I am putting the brakes on cruising. There is one exception…if Captain Stubing is driving the boat…I’m so onboard.

Bring on the Dramamine…Chip Ahoy, Matey.