Saweeeeet

I just got back from a long over-due trip to the Stop and Shop and have an undeniable urge for something sweet. While working my way through the self checkout aisle (question to self: Shouldn’t Stop and Shop give me employee benefits if I’m doing their work?)…I came cheek to cheek with an enticing display of Entenmanns. All-butter loaf cake, Raspberry Danish. Cinnamon buns. Pumpkin pie. Cakes, doughnuts and other baked goods. Oh My!!!

I was intrigued with the Entenmanns display…there was something a little different about the boxes…they looked smaller. I thought: What a great idea…a smaller portion of the calorie laden goodies. If Entenmanns can’t cut the calories in half…at least they’re cutting the portion in half. Weigh to go Entenmanns!

I couldn’t resist picking up the cute new sized box. I found my favorite….Cinnamon Buns. That’s when I realized that the tasty buns of cinnamon I was expecting…was really a candle. A 3-wick wax candle with a cinnamon bun scent. Gruel joke. Not funny, Mr. Entenmanns…you’re not so sweet, after all.

I have to admit...it was amazing how edible the candles smelled. If you closed your eyes, you would swear you were in your Grandmother’s kitchen. So then, of course, I had to scent sample others…each one evoking homely childhood memories, I mean, homey childhood memories. (I was not a homely child…I think.) Pumpkin Pie sniff… Ahhh, The family gathered around the Thanksgiving table. Raspberry Danish sniff…Ahhh, Christmas morn…shafted again.

I couldn’t stop myself…until I smelled every single box in the display. At least there were no calories in each sniff. Otherwise, I would have had 50,000 calories. Cinnamon Bun buns-food calories per portion: 1,456. Cinnamon Bun candle-sniff calories per portion: 0. There might be something to this candle thing.

As I stuck my nose in each box, I contemplated buying a confectionary candle for the house. If I bought my favorite…the candle that burns the scent of cinnamon buns…how would the scent effect me? Would the scent be just enough to satisfy my sweet cravings, so I wouldn’t be rummaging through the cupboards at 4pm when Oprah is about to start…or would the smell put me into a sweet-craving frenzy? After all, I do have a sweet tooth…I’m mean, sweet teeth (32 of them to be exact.)

I quickly came to my senses and decided I couldn’t have the scented candle in my house. The smell would just start a brain-stomach-buns chain reaction. I would be fantasizing about sweet concoctions all day long. Then my gastrointestinal stomach juices would start flowing. The kind that makes my stomach sound like a washing machine with a full load…on its last leg. I wouldn't be able to stop my run for the buns. I figure I have enough buns on my buns…the last thing I need are buns on my brain.

And the scent would be a tease to anyone who entered the house. When Bri got home from school she would be so excited; thinking I’d been baking all afternoon. “What a nice treat, mom. You’re the best.” And then I’d have to show her the 3-wick cinnamon bun candle. Nosh on this, Wishy.

Saweeeeet.