You've Been Hacked

Last week I got a call from

Citibank Fraud...

wanting to cancel my card and send me a new one.

Apparently some accounts were hacked.

 

woah....woah...WOAH...

wait a minute, Citifriend.

There are 7 billion people in the world.

What are the chances someone has my number?

I'll take my chances and monitor the account online.

My citicard is automatically tied to some accounts

and I'm not liking the idea of messing up iTunes.

Before letting me off the telephone hook,

Citifriend wanted to verify a few expenses.

Okay, if you must.

Yep.  I was at the mall...those expenses are actually legit.

Don't judge me, girl.

 Go on....

woah...woah...WAIT A MINUTE.

Back it up.

Did you say I spent $250 at a Radio Shack in Jersey?

Did you say I spent $2,000 at an Apple Store in NYC?

Well, those expenses are NOT legit.

Not one bit.

(Sorry had to throw in a rhyme.)

I'm not operating a new Mac. 

I'm still ridin' this ole PC which is slower than molasses in January,

slower than a DMV line before a holiday,

slower than the pace of this blog.

umm..you get the picture

Anywhooo....

What fries my ass (Can I have a shake with that?)

is that my credit card was actually swiped at these places.

There was an actual woman walking around with brass balls

using a counterfeit card with my number.

hmmmm.....

I wonder what "I" was like as "I" shopped for my new Mac.

Was "I" friendly? polite?

Was "I" wearing cute clothes?

Was "I" good looking?

As far as this Kat is concerned..."poser Kat" was ugly as sin...

and nothin' but a

 low-down, butt-sniffing

 scoundrel.