Hear Ye, Hear Ye

Hear ye, Hear ye, Hear ye……..

“Friends, Romans, Countrymen, and anyone else who gives a rat’s ass…lend me your ear. Prince William and Kate Middleton are officially engaged.

With thee announcement last week of thee engagement of Prince William and Kate Middleton…Kate can stop singing the Snow White tune, “Some day My Prince will come.”

The British press says the reason for the 10 year courtship was because Prince William wanted to ‘be sure’…before he popped the question. Their courtship was so long, the Press had given Kate the nickname, “Waity Katy.”

So…I pop this question to the Brit Press…What makes you so sure Kate was in a hurry to marry the Prince?

I realize Kate is a commoner…but the Press attaches “commoner” to her name like it’s a dirty word. It’s not like Kate had to sing for her supper every night. “Please sir, may I have some more.” Kate attended private school and grew up in the countryside in a 5 bedroom house…granted she did have to cook her own dinner and drive her own car. OMG.

Okay, now that I think about it…maybe I’m wrong. (Off with my head…to the gallows I go.) Kate will become a Princess and be married to the future King of England. She will live a royal life…where every wish is her command and every pearl is her necklace. She will have literally and figuratively turned the tables from “Waity Katy” …to “Waiting on Katy.”

With her upcoming marriage to Prince William…Kate’s ship has come in with a boat load of privileges that not even Snow White could have dreamt of. Kate will soon be singing a new tune, “On the Good Ship Lollipop.”

Anywhooooooooooo……..

I got to wondering….hmmmm….What will Kate have for a last name? I’m guessing it will be “of Wales.” Like her betrothed…Prince William of Wales.

For some reason, the royals don’t have regular surnames like Middleton, Jones, or Garcia. They have names like “of York”...“of Wessex”...“of Cornwall”...and my favorite “in a can.” Do you remember that Prince? Prince Albert in a can? He was the rage when I was in 4th grade.