Age Appropriate

Did you hear the oldest woman in the world died at age 114? I think when you reach the overripe age of 114, you have lived passed your expiration date and it’s about time to hit the dirt…sorta speak.

I think a reasonable age to aim for is 100. To have your 100th birthday announced on television by Willard Scott…would be an accomplishment. I know it would be for me…and for Willie. When I reach 100…Uncle Willie should be over 114.

Eugenie Blanchard, the oldest woman alive-turned-dead, lived on the island of St. Barts in the French West Indies. No wonder she lived way past 100. Island people are so laid back they write songs like “Don’t Worry…Be Happy. A life without stress has to be the key to longevity, mon.

But her Great-nephew attributed her long life to the fact that “she had decided to give her virginity to God.” Wow…and they made a movie about the 40 year old virgin. Steve Carell’s character had nothing on this woman. He was a virgin for 40 years…just a third of her life.

I wonder if Eugenie knew she was gonna die at 114…if she would have waited to take the chastity vow when she was 55.

Anywhooooooo……..

The children on St.Barts called Eugenie “Douchy.” If my kids called an old woman…(and a nun at that)…a douchy, I would have sent them to bed without their fruit snacks. Apparently “Douchy” means “sweets” in the local dialect…but it just sounds so disrespectful in most other languages. Apparently Douchy got her nickname because she used candy as a way to entice the children into religious readings. And that is all I have to say about that.

Hmmm…there a lot of (inappropriate) directions I could go with this blog…but I’ll refrain…I want to keep things copasetic…or is that Copacabana?

Instead, I will leave you with a sick comment (not mine): “I want to die in my sleep at 90 like my Uncle Goober, and not SCREAMING in terror like the passenger’s in his car.”