The Upsell Principle

I don’t want to sound like Andy Rooney…or resemble him…in any way, shape, form or eyebrow. But I have a complaint.

I hate upselling. I realize waiters and waitresses are trained to get you to spend more money. It’s their job to get customers to buy more than they really want…to eat more, drink more and be happy more. It’s the upsell Principle.

After I’ve plowed through the bread, appetizer, salad, and Fred Flintstone sized prime ribs of beef…now they want me to eat dessert. And they do this because they want to see me well fed? No, they want to upsell for a big fat tip…they don’t care about waste or waistlines.

I was thinking about the subject of tipping. The tipping of waiters, that is…not the tipping of cows, one of my all-time favorite subjects. If you order a burger and fries for 9.99…the (20%) tip is 2 dollars. And if you order the sea bass which costs 25 dollars…the tip is 5 dollars. But when you think about it…there is the same amount of work required for the waiter to carry either plate of food. Heck, the fish plate even weighs less than the pound of red meat and fries. And to carry it further…(hehe).. the more your meal costs…the less there is of it on the plate.

Upselling not only occurs in restaurants, but everywhere. At the mall when I’m buying a sweater…they want me to buy 2 sweaters…and get the second for half off. But I only want one. I have 5 different shades of black sweaters already. They want you to get their credit card and receive 10% off your next purchase. If you open a checking account you can get a free toaster. But I have a toaster. Doesn’t every person who opens a checking account already have a toaster?

Everyone has some deal to offer you. Heck, that’s why I had 3 kids. My obstetrician promised me a deal that after 2 kids, the 3rd was half price. I couldn’t refuse!

Hmmm...maybe I should apply the Upsell principle to my blog. Here’s the offer:

If you get 2 friends or 2 frenemies…(your choice) to read my blog…you will see your name and address written in my blog. Wait, just kidding. Come back.