Another Country Conquered

After walking around Montreal…I have a new appreciation for what it feels like to be a foreigner in a strange land …or a stranger in a foreign land…or in my case, a strange foreigner in a land. It feels something like being illiterate and visiting Barnes and Noble Bookstore.

Although the Canadians in Montreal can speak English…they prefer French and would prefer if you would speak French too. Out of respect, PaulA did the best he could with the French he took in school. But I took Spanish, so I was looking for a French Spanish Canadian. Sadly to say, I never found one. Thanks to Lady Marmalade, the only French phrase I have mastered is “Voulez-vous coucher avec moi” …but I figured that could land me into trouble.

So there I was, a strange foreigner, left to interpret through other means. It’s amazing what you can figure out…when you don’t know what signs or people are saying. You start deciphering in other ways…other clues, symbols, pictures, and hand signals. There are some signs and signals, however, that are universal. Happily no one gave me the universal middle finger salute.

Numbers look the same in Montreal, so you have to be careful. If you think you’re going the posted speed limit of 90 and don’t pay attention to mph or kph…then you’re speeding, buddy. The Police will…how you say?... pull your American ass over. (Pardon my French.)

One afternoon I took to the streets…and did a little of the “s” word…Shopping. And surprisingly enough, Foreigner Kat got by without a lick of French. (Wait, isn’t French Lick Larry Bird’s hometown? I’m pretty sure he isn’t French.)

When you are dealing with salespeople…some things are the same everywhere you go. French case in point: I was shopping in a store holding a handful of clothes and the saleswoman said “paisxvoi loupdzidl”…which I figured was, “Can I start a dressing room for you.” Whala! Experienced shoppers, like myself, understand this…regardless of language.

And then after I paid the saleswoman, she rattled off: “ressloxi xliuoidj.” Easy again, “Do you want the receipt in the bag or do you want to hold it?” I don’t need French for that one either. With shopping there is a universal language. My most favorite universal sign is the red line...Bargain.

Another day…another shopping trip…another country conquered.

Au revoir Strange Foreigner.