Tricks, Treats, and Eggs

I remember Halloween as a kid. It was the best…FREE candy. My parents let my brother, sisters and I eat whatever we wanted on Halloween night. There was no limit. It was up to us ….if we wanted to gorge ourselves on candy bars, and puke our brains out. I don’t even remember them checking our candy, for razor blades…or rat poison.

Halloween is actually fun for all ages. Nothing like a reason to go “out of character” for a few hours. You have a legit excuse for acting or looking like an ass. In some cases that is “in character.”

Speaking of butts…I’ll never forget the guy who came dressed to a Halloween party with the largest one ever. It just cracked me up. His backside was stuffed so large that he kept butting into people. Making him the butt of all jokes.

When it came to Halloween night, PaulA and I had our assignments. He took the kids trick-or-treating and I stayed home…waiting for the door bell to ring……….

Ding Dong….
Ahhh…the timid child dressed as a mouse…who meekly mumbles… “Trick or Treat.” The little mouse is standing there wide-eyed with fear and confusion…not exactly sure what the hell is going on...just looking for some cheese.

Ding Dong...
It’s the neighbor kid from across the street who expects you to immediately recognize him in costume…
“Hi Mrs. Kat…It’s Me…It’s Timmy.”
“Oh, Timmy is that you? I didn’t recognize you. Last time I saw you, you didn’t have blood dripping down your face and an axe planted in your head.”

Ding Dong…
5 Big kids from out of town. At least one of them is shaving. They’re standing there…looking at me like… “What do you want from us lady…Do we have to beg?” I give them extra candy, just so they won’t egg our house. I prefer my eggs over-easy…not over-house.

On Halloween night, I prefer seeing the little mice trick-or-treaters…before they grow up to be big rats…egging houses, papering trees, and smashing pumpkins. And before they’re the butt of every joke.

Happy Halloween