Prom Night

Once guys have undergone the torture and humiliation of asking a girl to their high school prom…I have to say, it’s a breeze from there. I have seen both sides…the girly-q side with Wishy and Big C, and the manly-b side with Colinboy. The guy side is waaaay easier. Hands and Tuxedo down.

The girly-q side starts with the dress dilemma…should it be long, short, low neckline, lower neckline, low back, lower back, front, no front? The shoes: should they be flat, heeled, high-heeled? The jewelry: should it be understated, overstated or overrated? The manicure and pedicure: should it be natural or unnatural? Makeup: of course. And the hair: I won’t even get in to the hairdo’s (and the don’ts.)

The manly-b side starts with one-stop shopping…tux, tie, taps…penguin attire.

As for the amount of time to get ready…no comparison. The girls need plenty of it. The guys need 4 minutes. Bri’s prom is tonight…Friday night…and the girls will leave school early…so they can make all their appointments and have time to primp and get dressed.

Only the boys are sitting in math class getting an education on a Friday afternoon…no wonder boys score better in math. And forget the girls going to any sports practices after school. They can’t be getting all sweaty and stinky. The coach has to cancel due to lack of bodies…….

The boys have time for practice…then saunter home, take a shower and throw on their penguin suit. And they look good. Which doesn’t seem fair…but this inequity goes on for the rest of their lives.

Last year a penguin-in-training confessed to his prom date: “My dad says I have to be nice to you. This whole prom thing means more to the girl.” Although his admission does ring true…I believe that was meant to be kept between penguins.

The girls, after all their fussing and primping, …are stunning. They radiate inner beauty and youthfulness. A few hours later…after the corsages have wilted, the disco ball stops spinning (wait, this isn’t 1975), and the limos turn into Forerunners and Fords…these beauties will be back to flip-flops, jeans, sweatshirts, and pony-tails…and will be just as stunning.

The prom is a big deal to the girls. And the boys better be nice to them. (You have learned well, young penguin-in-training.)