iPhone Phrenzy

iScream

 

uScream

 

we all scream for

 

 

 

 

So were you one of the gazillions of people around the world last Friday who

queued up and segued your way along

a long, long line for Apple’s new iPhone 5?

 

 

The only time I’ve waited in a line that long was

Free Cone Day

 at Ben and Jerry’s. 

woo hoo.. 

(chocolate fudge brownie, get in my belly.)

 

Apparently,

iScream

for iceCREAM

 

 

When it comes to the smart phone...

the Android has been the Apple of my eye. 

I love the way it whispers “droid” to me whenever I get a text. 

It has me at “droid”...every time.

 

 

BUT, don’t get me wrong,

I am a fan of many varieties of Apples...

the iPad...the iPod...and the McIntosh (the original Mac.)

 (I was born in Vermont...so I know my apples.)

 

 

The launch of the new Apple phone couldn’t have been better timed.

After all, the Fall is apple picking season.

But watch your apples...
the new iPhone is so hot,
people are stealing them...

giving new meaning to “apple picking.”

 

 
 

Anywhoooo.....

 

 

As with the launching of every brand new product, there are glitches. 

The glitch with the new iPhone 5 has to do with the map app...

but I’m sure they will work the worms out of it any day.




 

 

One bad apple app ...
don’t spoil the whole bunch.

yeah.

 

 

So...Let’s get down to the core of the apple
frenzy. 

 

Who are these people willing to stand in line for

hours and hours and hours

for the new iPhone 5?

 

Gadget Geeks?

Techno Techs?

People who buy into the “hype?"
People who like being "first" to own?

Geeky Techs who buy into the 'hype' and want to be ' first'  to own new products?

 

Apparently, these folks like their Apples
crisp and right off the tree.

 

I don't want to upset the Apple cart...

but I prefer to let my Apple ripen
over a period of time.
 

After it has matured,
I enjoy it...

before it rots.

 

After the iPhone frenzy calms down...

I’ll probably go Apple picking.
(wait, I’m paying.)

 

I’m sure I’ll eventually pick the iPhone5

and add it to my collection
of other Apple Products...

 

 

iHear there is nothin’ like an

Apple iProduct Pie...
 

 

 

 

hot out of the oven.

 

 

 

Revealing Royals

A Wiseass Word to the Royals...

 keep your clothes on.

 

You would think the Royal family would have figured out by now

that there a few blokes who are more than interested in

where they go,

what they do,

and what they wear...

 

or in most cases...

what they don’t wear.

 

We were just getting over the sordid pictures of a

naked Prince Harry in Las Vegas.

Note to Harry...get better at playing strip poker.

 

The lowbrow pics of
rowdy Royal Harry

probably raised an eyebrow or two
with his highbrow grandmother,
Her Royal Highness, Queen Elizabeth.

It is not unusual for the Queen to have
the crown jewels on display for the public...

butt


His Royal Heinyness Harry
took his display of the crown jewels

to a lower level.

 

And now there are photos circulating of a

bare-breasted/
topless
Princess Kate.

 

Oh, my Kate...

say it ain’t so.

(to be read with your hands covering your mouth.)

 

Anywhooo....

 

I’m wondering...

if the paparazzi followed my every move...

would a revealing photo surface of ME?

 

Well....there was the streaking craze back in the 70's

but streaking just wasn’t for me.

I find it impossible to run naked.

 

However...

there was a time ..
a couple of weeks ago at the beach...

when I took an outdoor shower and...

a chap happened by...

overhead.

Oh, my Kat...
say it ain’t so...

(to be read tongue-in-cheek.)

Needless to say...

The Royals have had it up to their crown jewels

with the paparazzi invading their privates space.

They plan to punish the photographer responsible for taking the photos.

I'm thinking someone's head is gonna roll.

Look what happend to Anne Boleyn...
just saying.

 

I do believe everyone is entitled to privacy...

but the Royals need to be bloody smart about it.

They have to know that whenever they decide to

drop trou

 or

drop top

in a place other than Buckingham Palace...

there's sure to be a schmucko with a hi-powered telephoto lens

aimed at them from a half mile away.

 

In the meantime...

 

Kate needs to take a page from the
Queen Mum’s Manual.

 

and

 

pour herself a stiff one.

Cheerio for now...

until the next time the royal crown jewels

are on display.

"Talk Like A Pirate Day"

September 19th is

“Talk Like A Pirate Day”…

 

 

And yes, "Talk Like A Pirate Day"

 is a real day...
 

As real as ....

National Boss Day 
(which happens to be October 16th,
 should you want to get on the boss's good side.)

 

Story has it...

this day was crafted by two guys who
when playing racquetball
turned their groans and cheers into pirate slang. 
 

They pitched their idea for a "Talk Like A Pirate Day" 

to Pulitzer-prize winning columnist Dave Barry

who featured it in his column...

and the rest, as they say, is pirate history.

 

 

Anywho...ho...ho...ho

 

This Kat comes from a long lineage of courageous
plunderers and pillagers.

 

                                                                  Meet me family...

 

 

 

We band together
once a year 
in bandanas and buckles
for grog, gruel,
and a hair from the Captain Morgan.

 

 

 

 

Talking like a Pirate is not hard.

Any landlubber can do it.

 

It just takes some improper English...

drop your "g's"
drop your "v's"
throw in a "ye" and a "be"
always talk in the "present"...ne'er the "past"...

and ye ne'er be talkin' better.

arrrrgh

 

And
should your voice be hoarse from many a tankard a grog ...

Ye be a grand pirate talker.

 

 

 

So….

Join the fun

(but leave your swords at home)

and

“Talk Like A Pirate"
today...


but matey,

should tomorrow ye be talkin' pirate...

ye be gettin' many a strange look.