MOMisms

I remember waaaaay back when....

making chocolate chip cookies

and hearing my mom say:

"If I told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times."

“Don’t eat the dough."

"It will kill you.”

I was never sure if it was just another one of her

“momisms”

like

“Your face is gonna freeze like that."

or

"I'll give you something to cry about."

Nothing like a good MOMism.

Genetically designed

to scare the bejesus out of kids.

To this day, I have never known one person who

keeled over and died

from eating chocolate chip cookie dough. 

But I’ve made sure to pass it on to my kids...

just to scare

the bejesus out of them.

Anywhooo.....

I recently read an article about an Australian man who got sick

AFTER cooking  his dough. 

The Aussie’s wife cooked the dough at 350 degrees...

but he still became violently ill.

That’s because the dough she cooked was

15,000 dollars in cash. 

He had hidden his cash in their oven for safekeeping...

later saying his wife never used the oven.

We’ve all burned money before...

some at the race track...

others at Nordstroms Rack.

But in the oven???......

YikesZA...

That’s a lot of dough to go up in smoke.

Seeing “money doesn’t grow on trees”...

the man can’t pay his mortgage.

(Apparently mortgage companies don’t accept ashes.)

Alas,

a new MOMism

is baked from this story....

(Did someone say Baked Alaska?)

"Always check the oven

before cooking your dough...

you could burn your bread."

Besides

"There are starving children in India."

(Because I said so, that's why.)

(Wipe that smile off your face, before I have to.)