What NOT to Eat in Public

There are some foods that are inherently difficult to eat in public places...

especially foods containing the word “sloppy.”

i.e. “The Sloppy Joe”

(It's hard to prevent "loose meat" from landing in your lap.)

Then there are foods that should NEVER be eaten in public...

especially tight quarters....

Any food with garlic

Any food with onion

Any big game...

venison, moose, wild boar (you know who you are)

And...Any garlic and onion flavored big game

But the Number One food I find most awkward eaten in public

....the banana.

I quickly came to this conclusion while sitting in an airport terminal waiting to board a flight.

 In plane view, was a woman eating a banana.

I tried to look away, but my primate side overruled.

Out of the corner of my eye...I watched her every move...
and laughed myself out my tree. 

Anywhooooooo................

If you, yourself, and I...watched ourselves with a banana...

we would all agree...

it should always be done discreetly.

And I SWEAR...on a stack of bananas...

 

After the woman polished off her banana.......

she threw the peel over her shoulder,

picked at her sweater,

and scratched her armpit.