Stay Away Earl

Hey Earl...I hear you are planning on visiting us sometime tonight. You haven’t visited since 1991, so you probably think we have missed you...but you would be wrong. Stay Away Earl.

I don’t think it’s really about you wanting to have a nice calm visit with us. I think it’s all about you needing a final place to land and carry-on before you fizzle out. One last blast.

I hear you’ve been hanging out in the tropics for the past few weeks, sucking up all that “tropical water” with all your other buddies down there...and now you’re looking to bring your wild ways...our way.

Apparently you like making a big entrance, and having people throw your name around before you actually arrive. You seem to enjoy putting on a big show.

Anywhooo...........

We have a close eye on you and know you are making your way up the East Coast....probably thinking about a stop in Wrightsville Beach and wreaking havoc with our friends in the Carolinas.

Earl, you will find that we are not excited to see the likes of your kind. We don't appreciate the force, devasatation, and chaos you bring with you...the way you break and destroy things in your path.

If you could only learn to change your ways....maybe settle down a bit and not let yourself get out of control.

If you happen to show up at our house you will find the windows covered...and the doors secured. Things will be tied down and put away. We just can’t trust the likes of you.

You might want to keep moving...maybe go cruising out to sea.

And just don’t get any ideas of sending any of your friends our way. We’ve heard Gaston is just as troublesome.