Kat's Blog Light

Light, Light, Light.

Everything has gone Light.

They’ve taken the calories out…the fat out…carbs out…trans fat out…the sugar out.

Seeing everything has gone Light happy, I’ve decided to conjure up my own light…similar to a Light Beer. I’ve concocted Kat’s Blog Light.

When you read Kat’s Blog Light…you will be less full of the original Kat Blog. And more satisfied.

Yes…you will see that Kat’s Blog Light will have more readability. Within the first paragraph, you will experience its great taste. You will experience the taste of pure filtered blog material….rich and smooth.

I promise the new Kat’s Blog Light will be everything you’ve wanted in a blog. And Less. Less verbiage. Less doublespeak. Less sarcasm.

It will be the champagne of blogs. It will have tastes as good as its name: Katstaleof5.blogspot.com

If you’ve got the time…I’ve got the blog. Lose the absurdity from the original…not the taste.

Kat’s Blog Light, however, does come with a warning…..

Warning: Excessive Kat’s Blog Light may cause blurry vision, dizziness, and impaired judgment. Proceed with caution when reading.

P...as in PaulA

With numbers 0 through 9…there are a finite number of combinations that can be put together for confirmation numbers or order numbers. So the 26 letters of the alphabet are often used to increase the different numbers of combinations. (Oh, that sounds exciting Kat…what else ya got?)

Sometimes some of the letters sound similar to each other when they are read out loud…especially over the phone…especially over my cell phone with Verizon service. So when a person at a customer call center reads them back..they will relate the letter with a name to eliminate any confusion…so you get them right. That way “P” doesn’t get mixed up with “T”…and “V” doesn’t get confused with “B”. (OMG Kat, still very boring…what else ya got?)

Okay, Here’s the good part.

Recently I called an airline to request my forgotten confirmation number and was connected with a woman in India. Actually she didn’t tell me she was from India…but I figured it out cuz I have a good ear for accents…and I think they have all the airline customer service jobs locked up. Anyway, while on the phone, I wanted to ask her my burning question: “What do you think of the movie ‘Slumdog Millionaire’?” But I figured she was probably too busy to discuss the movie. And I figured she probably would think I was an ass. So I made the decision to not look like an ass.

After she carefully read my confirmation number to me over the phone: PR5WVO3..she clarified the letters:

P…as in Pierre.
R…as in Romeo.
5.
W…as in Whisky.
V…as in Victor.
O…as in Oscar.
3.

Pierre? Romeo? OMG who uses those names? I found it amusing that the different names she used to clarify the letters actually confused me. I had to ask her to repeat the names so I could understand what she was saying. I must say her choice of whiskey confused me, but it’s a good choice… straight…on ice.

If I worked in a call center in India or Scranton…I would make it simple for people:

P…as in PaulA.
R…as in Rum.
W…as in Wine.
V…as in Vodka.
O…as in Ouzo.

I wonder how long I would be employed?
(Hey, that’s all I got.)

Farewell King of Pop

I’m bad….you’re “Bad”…we’re all talking about Michael Jackson nonstop…and if you’re like me…you “Don’t stop Til You Get Enough.”

I don’t want to “Beat It” over and over…but Michael Jackson is a music legend and it’s only “Human Nature” that we want to talk about him, play his songs, and remember him after his untimely death at age 50…leaving everyone in a “State of Shock.”

Today is the memorial service for Michael Jackson at the Staples Center in LA. It doesn’t matter if you’re “Black or White”…whether you’re “Billie Jean,” “Ben,” “Dirty Diana”, or some "P.Y.T.(Pretty Young Thing)"…people are getting together today to either “Cry” or celebrate his life.

Michael Jackson was loved worldwide. His music found a way to bring people together and to “Heal The World.” Those of you out there who loved Michael Jackson know that “You Are Not Alone.”

We “Remember the Time” when we first heard a young MJ with the Jackson 5 who easily took the stage and limelight without any nerves or “Butterflies.” From then on, he never had any privacy in his life and I’m sure there were countless times he wanted to “Scream” and yell “Leave Me Alone.”

Over the last few years…when it came down to the “Man in the Mirror”…Michael had become a controversial figure…some thinking he was “Dangerous”...a “Smooth Criminal" and others thinking he was a brillant artist…a music icon. Regardless, of your position…his amazing talent and artistry earned him the title of ‘King of Pop.’

Whenever you hear a Michael Jackson song…it makes you want to “Get On The Floor” and “Shake Your Body” …it makes you feel like you “Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’.

Not only was his music "Workin' Day and Night"…his music videos were always a “Thriller” with their innovative and “Off The Wall” revolutionary approach to telling a story and creating a short film.

As one of the millions and millions of Michael Jackson fans “I Can’t Help It”…but I am going to miss him "For All Time." Like other fans around the world, I feel that Michael had a lot of music left to give and has “Gone Too Soon.”

As Michael Jackson fans…world over…“We Are The World” and today we remember, celebrate, and say goodbye to the 'King of Pop.'

Farewell Michael...We have loved every song, every dance, and every chance to “Rock With You.”

“Can You Feel It?”

Sanford and Sons

Some people have the best lines when they get caught…caught in the act and need to come up with a statement to explain themselves. Take South Carolina Governor Sanford. (Hey, I think that’s what his wife said too.) I’m sure you’re familiar with Sanford, the recent politician to fall into the clutches of a woman (or a man in some cases) outside the marriage. Line them up like Dominos and watch them fall.

Governor Sanford was caught with his hand in the Argentinean cookie jar. (Yum. Yum.) It seems the family-values governor, father of four sons, was on a rendezvous weekend with his lover over Father’s Day. (The irony is uncanny.) Sanford has said that he had found love...to be differentiated from Client Number 9…Eliot Spitzer…the paying Domino.

Sanford’s exact lines: “This was a whole lot more than a simple affair, this was a love story. I will be able to die knowing I had met my soul mate.” Is that supposed to make things better? Actually, I don’t give a politician’s ass…I mean, rat’s ass (same thing) about who he falls in love with, but I would wonder about his character …the lies about hiking the Appalachian, leaving the country and not giving his whereabouts to his wife and staff, and possibly using tax payer money to travel to his rendezvous spots.

This guy has given “hiking the Appalachian trail” new meaning. It’s code for: I’m meeting my lover in a foreign country and forgetting I’m married for the next 3 days. I’ve always wondered why anyone would want to hike the Appalachian…hmmmmm….now it all makes sense to me.

I feel sorry for his wife and four sons. He has said that: “I will try to fall back in love with my wife again.” I think the chances of that happening are slim to never-gonna-happen-in-a-million years. Who’s to say his wife would want him. Especially after professing to the world that the other woman was his soul mate. What does that make his wife? A second-rate-chopped-liver-banana?

If I lived in the state of South Carolina I would have a problem with my Governor being so incredibly stupid…especially after seeing him on camera crying and professing his undying love for his mistress. Boo hoo. Don’t cry for me Argentina…

If the Gov. had any brains, he would act like the original Sanford from “Sanford and Son”….you know the classic 70’s TV show with Redd Foxx. Gov. Sanford might get out of all of his trouble and gain some sympathy...like the original Fred Sanford…if he grabbed his chest, stumbled around, and exclaimed: “Ooooo….I can feel it….this is the big one.”

Maybe then, Sanford and sons…and his wife….could get back on track.

Happy Birthday America

“Happy Birthday dear America…Happy Birthday to you.” Singing Happy Birthday to our country might seem a little corny…but definitely All-American.

I am darn proud to be an American…patriotism runs in my blood. I am the daughter of a U. S. Air Force Serviceman…retired after 20 years. As a military family we traveled the country and the world…moving every two years. You would think the constant acclimation would have been hard, but everyone else in the military community was doing the same thing.

The big question while living on an Air Force Base was always, “How long are you here for?”….kinda like doing time…hard time. The only hard time I remember was when we were separated from my dad. Remember the first line from the Marine’s Hymn... “From the halls of Montezuma to the shores of Tripoli?” We lived there…the shores of Tripoli. Yep…We did time in Tripoli for two years.

I am proud to be from America…the Land of the Free, the Home of the Brave. Nothing makes me prouder than when I see a U.S. serviceman or servicewoman. I tear up at the very thought of young people willing to protect our freedom. Colinboy has a buddy who finished his Marines basic training and is heading off to Afghanistan to be a gunner on a tank. And our good friend, Joanie, has a son heading out in November. Godspeed to our young friends. I thank all the men and women who have volunteered to protect our freedom. Excuse me while I turn into Niagara Falls.

Growing up as a child on a military base, hearing the planes overhead every day, felt like my blanket…security. To this day, I get that same sense of comfort when I hear the roar from a plane’s engine.

I have mentioned before that I have dog tags…official tags given to us by the U.S Air Force. We wore them as kids when traveling. My dog tags are one of my most prized possessions. My kids were shocked and proud when they first saw them…shocked to see that their mom had Rappa tags…and proud that Rapppa katBreezy might be tight with Fifty Cent.

This is a beautiful country and we are so fortunate to live in this Land of Liberty. Now I’m going to step down from my soap box….and indulge in a little apple pie.

Happy Birthday, America.

Jayne Hits the Big 5-0!!!

Last Thursday, June 25th, was a big, big, HUGE day….it was my sister Jayne’s 50th birthday. I couldn’t let the ENORMOUS day pass without sending out birthday blog wishes!!!

I have compiled 50 wonderful qualities about my sister,
(affectionately known as Jayniebug):

She has a loving heart.
She has a loving and warm heart.
She has a loving and warm heart that beats regularly.
She has a smart mind.
She has a smart mind and a smart-ass :)
She’s good natured.
She’s good natured and loves nature.
She’s naturally good natured and loves nature.
She’s fun.
She’s fun loving.
She’s loves to have fun.
She’s skilled.
She’s precise and exact.
She’s precisely skilled at being exact.
She reads my blog.
She says she reads my blog.
She better read my blog.
She’s particular.
She’s particularly particular.
She’s particularly particular about particulars.
She’s genuine.
She’s not fake.
She’s genuinely not fake.
She’s a good aunt.
She’s a great aunt.
She’s a bug…not an ant.
She has a family who loves her.
She has a family who loves and adores her.
She’s giving.
She’s generous.
She’ll generously give you her shirt.
She’ll generously give you her shirt off her back.
She’s a good friend.
She’ll generously give a good friend her good shirt off her back.
She’s honest and truthful.
She’s honestly truthful.
She’s sentimental.
She’s mentally sentimental.
She’s caring.
She’s caring and sympathetic.
She’s caring and sympathetic to all creatures…big and small.
She sounds like a girl scout.
She was once a girl scout.
She never cared for the girl scouts.
She can be corny.
She once ate eleven ears of corn.
She has a sister who’s crazy.
She has a sister who’s crazy for her.
She has a sister who’s crazy for her and wishes her a "Happy Birthday."
She has a sister who’s crazy for her and wishes her a "Happy 50th Birthday…and 50 more."

Red Sox Game-Drizzle and Distractions

There’s nothing like wearing your team’s colors and attending a Major League Baseball game…America’s favorite past time. This past Father’s Day, PaulA, Colinboy, Wishy and I, dressed in our red shirts, joined 39,000 other fans and fathers at a Boston Red Sox game. (We missed our Big C.) Red Sox vs the Braves. And the Sox beat the braves….na, na, na, na, na.

Go Red Sox. Go Red Sox. I’m doing the wave right now, but having a hard time keeping it going. Note to self: need more than one person to do the wave.

There’s nothing like going to a game at Fenway Park…even bad weather can’t dampen a true Red Sox fan’s spirits. We drove to the game in the drizzle…sat in the drizzle…watched the Red Sox win in the drizzle…and ate our faces off in the drizzle. It was a great game…drizzle and all. Now that I think about it, everything is enhanced when you add drizzle…especially chocolate drizzle, my favorite.

When I’m in the ballpark…I’m distracted by everything and everyone around me…which is a good thing. That way if things start to go South, I’m not feeling the pain. Watching the Red Sox on television at home, I’m more focused on every hit, every run, every steal, every error. But in the ballpark I have a lot of distractions…mainly due to the fact that…all the knuckleballs are not on the field.

There is usually a knuckleball head sitting in front of me. You know the type…there is one knuckleball head…or a thousand knuckleball heads in every ballpark in America. Their main mission is to be annoying to everyone around them…for the next 3 to 4 hours and extra innings…if need be. First they’re up...then they’re down…then they try to squeeze play by you. Could someone just throw them out?

Another great distraction is the food. The food is so much better in the ballpark than at home. Bring on the hot dogs, popcorn, peanuts, beer. I ate all the junk food my stomach could handle without bringing back the 8th in the 9th.

You just gotta love the peanut vendor…throwing his nuts at people from 6 rows away. And the beer vendor…yelling in his Boston accent: Get ye be-ah he-ah. And the other knuckleball heads behind me…spilling be-ah and crackin' nuts on my red shirt.

One of my all time favorite distractions is the music they play between innings. It sounds great booming over the loud speakers. I even love the rap: “gonna party like it’s my birthday.” But my all time fav is singing “Take me out to the Ballgame” in the 7th inning and “Sweet Caroline” in the 8th. They even played “Joy to the World” …not the Christmas version, but the “Jeremiah was a Bullfrog” version…which I hadn’t heard in ribbits of years. It’s hard to not break out in song.

Nothing like an afternoon in Fenway Park watching the Red Sox play…drizzle and all. Wicked pissah.