Sanford and Sons

Some people have the best lines when they get caught…caught in the act and need to come up with a statement to explain themselves. Take South Carolina Governor Sanford. (Hey, I think that’s what his wife said too.) I’m sure you’re familiar with Sanford, the recent politician to fall into the clutches of a woman (or a man in some cases) outside the marriage. Line them up like Dominos and watch them fall.

Governor Sanford was caught with his hand in the Argentinean cookie jar. (Yum. Yum.) It seems the family-values governor, father of four sons, was on a rendezvous weekend with his lover over Father’s Day. (The irony is uncanny.) Sanford has said that he had found love...to be differentiated from Client Number 9…Eliot Spitzer…the paying Domino.

Sanford’s exact lines: “This was a whole lot more than a simple affair, this was a love story. I will be able to die knowing I had met my soul mate.” Is that supposed to make things better? Actually, I don’t give a politician’s ass…I mean, rat’s ass (same thing) about who he falls in love with, but I would wonder about his character …the lies about hiking the Appalachian, leaving the country and not giving his whereabouts to his wife and staff, and possibly using tax payer money to travel to his rendezvous spots.

This guy has given “hiking the Appalachian trail” new meaning. It’s code for: I’m meeting my lover in a foreign country and forgetting I’m married for the next 3 days. I’ve always wondered why anyone would want to hike the Appalachian…hmmmmm….now it all makes sense to me.

I feel sorry for his wife and four sons. He has said that: “I will try to fall back in love with my wife again.” I think the chances of that happening are slim to never-gonna-happen-in-a-million years. Who’s to say his wife would want him. Especially after professing to the world that the other woman was his soul mate. What does that make his wife? A second-rate-chopped-liver-banana?

If I lived in the state of South Carolina I would have a problem with my Governor being so incredibly stupid…especially after seeing him on camera crying and professing his undying love for his mistress. Boo hoo. Don’t cry for me Argentina…

If the Gov. had any brains, he would act like the original Sanford from “Sanford and Son”….you know the classic 70’s TV show with Redd Foxx. Gov. Sanford might get out of all of his trouble and gain some sympathy...like the original Fred Sanford…if he grabbed his chest, stumbled around, and exclaimed: “Ooooo….I can feel it….this is the big one.”

Maybe then, Sanford and sons…and his wife….could get back on track.