Jury Duty - Case Closed

 This past summer I received a summons for 

Jury Duty…

which I quickly pushed off to the Fall. 

Then as seasons go…Fall followed Summer.

cue the apples

(80's Kat)

  

Because there’s never a good time for jury service …

I decided to not put it off any longer and 

“just do it” 

(Nike style)

and hope they would do the run without me.

As summoned…

I showed up on “said date” and at “said place” 

and joined a room of 50 prospective jurors. 

As fresh juror meat, 

we were squeezed into elevators and were led to the criminal courtroom…

where we sat and waited…

to be peppered, 

grounded, 

processed 

and either rejected or selected. 

The juror meat packing process 

isn’t pretty, folks. 

12 people were called to the juror box…

where the DA and Defense lawyers explained 

the law, terms, and began peppering us...

with questions.

A few lucky meatheads were rejected and 

escaped the packing process.

Hmmm, why them? 

As the interviewing selection process inched on for hoooours…

I could feel the curtain of impending doom begin to fall over me……

I was next up 

for gettin' peppered.

I started thinking up crazy things I could say 

to have them take a pass on me. 

Unfortunately, I had just sworn to tell the truth.  

Turns out the truth did not set me free.

It landed me on the jury...

Juror number 12.

Anyhoooo…

PaulA said he knew they would choose me.  

Apparently, I walk around with 

“Pick Me” 

written on my forehead.  

So I duly and civilly performed my civil duty as Juror 12. 

For the record…

there was an upside to Jury duty.

The pay for Juror service was bumped up 

from $10/day to a 

whopping $20 PER DAY. 

And the DA actually said 

in a commanding tone 

“Your Honor, I object.”  

If only the Judge had slammed down

his fancy judge hammer and 

yelled 

“Order in the Court”... 

I would have been way happier about being there.

At least I’m free 

from the jury meat packing selection process 

for another 2 years.  

Maybe next time I’m called for jury duty, 

I’ll show up with 

“Pick Me” 

inked on my forehead. 

Maybe then, 

they would pass on this 

looney tunes blogger.

Case Closed.