Duncanese

I’ve noticed that Duncandog is talking more these days. Normally he’s a very quiet dog…but he seems to have discovered his chops.

Usually if I don’t see Duncan patiently waiting by the door to go outside, he’ll just let out a short, quiet bark. And then when he gets tired of waiting on the slow service around our joint…he’ll get a little louder. “Hip hop, Kat…Get your ass over here and let me out.”

But what is killing me these days…is that Ducandog will just be lying around the house and let out a big bark…for NO apparent reason. The house is quiet and he appears to be resting and lounging……and then he gives a deep, powerful, emphatic, resounding, booming, wake-the-dead bark. And I’m talking loud. I am so startled by it that I almost spill my glass of wine. Wait, did I just say that out loud? I mean, almost spill my can of soda.

So I go over to see what he’s up to and he’s just lying there doing nothin’. “What’s the darn dealio Duncan? You’ve been feed, had water, and been outside to do your dooty. What the hell do you want from me now, Duncandog?” Being the understanding and sympathetic dog owner that I am, I’m trying to understand him…trying to understand the Duncanese language.

Actually, I think I’ve deciphered Duncanese. I think he’s telling me he wants attention. He wants someone to notice him…someone to talk to him.

You know that’s the problem with dogs today…they have no manners. Geez, doesn’t Duncandog knows it’s rude to bark for attention? He should take a page from Kat’s book…I usually just jump up and down...no barking. Works every time.