If I could be any athlete, I would be Jonathan Papelbon. No Question. Papelbon… the Red Sox Closer. He’s the pitcher who comes into the game in the 9th inning when the Red Sox have the lead. His mission: keep the Red Sox ahead and close the game with a “W.” All he has to do is get 3 OUTS. 1-2-3-you’re OUT! And that sounds easier than it is…or he makes it.
Sometimes Papelbon likes to mess with his fans and give them heart attacks along the way. ..so he loads the bases. Maybe that’s because he only gets to play for 1 inning and wants to hang around for a while. But eventually he gets that 3rd OUT…right before Red Sox Manager Terry Francona wants to string him up by his baseballs.
Another great part about being Papelpon is that he gets wicked applause and kudos…just for not blowing their lead and the game. How cool is that? “Hey…thanks for not losing the game, dude…you da man.” Wish PaulA gave me kudos for the obvious. “Hey,…thanks for not losing Duncandog today…you da Kat.”
The coolest thing, however, about being Jonathon Papelbon is that he has a theme song. When Papelbon gets the call to pitch...he grabs his balls and trots out onto the field toward the pitching mound…while his theme song plays…and 38,805 screaming fans are dancing and cheering for him.
And his song is a fun one… “I’m shipping up to Boston” by the Dropkick Murphys. I wonder who chose it? It sounds like an Irish drinking song…and let’s face it…by the 9th inning, the crowd is ready for a drinking song.
You just know Papelbon is loving it all…who the hell wouldn’t? So I was thinking….hmmmmm…..Damn, wouldn’t it be nice to have a theme song…your own personal song that plays when you enter a room? Can you imagine that? For some reason I can.
I enter our house through the front door after a hard day at the Taj MaMall…and the music starts. I hear it now…it’s “Super Freak” by Rick James. Wait, why should I get the short end of the song stick? I’m changing it to something better… “Foxey Lady” by Jimi Hendrix or “Hot Stuff” by Donna Summer. (Your choice.)
I wonder what my theme song would be if PaulA chose it for me. Hopefully he wouldn’t remember my latest shopping spree and choose “Material Girl” by Madonna. Hopefully he chooses something sweet like “Brown Eyed Girl” by Van Morrison or “I Got You Babe” by Sonny and Cher. Yep, Now we’re talking.
As for PaulA…When he walks through the front door after a long and arduous day at the office…I would suggest the song: “It’s 5 O’Clock Somewhere” by Jimmy Buffett. But maybe he would prefer “I’m Bringing Sexy Back” by Justin Timberlake. Or “Rock Star” by Nickelback.
Who wouldn’t want to be Papelbon ….he gets applause AND a theme song…just for not messing up.
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