Happy BriDay

June 5th is a great day...

Brianna’s 28th birthday.

Happy BriDay

Bri and her dad, PaulA, 

both have June birthdays...
(although they are born under different 
zodiac signs.)

Bri, however,
is definitely her father's daughter...

with many of PaulA’s great qualities.  

She's

smart, 

a total BOSS,

works hard at the Office,

loves the beach, 

handy with tools

loves the Red Sox,

enjoys a good cigar now and then….

okay, maybe that's just PaulA.

If I was 30 years younger….

I would totally want to be her friend.  

Although this mom is her friend.

no question.

Talking about hair...
(go with me here)
I’m pulling strands 

of a distant memory

regarding a Brianna
hair escapade.

PaulA and I were away one weekend…

and 
came home to find Brianna had gone to the dark side... 
a brunette. 

what???
(I should preface this that Bri was not left Home Alone
ala Kevin McCallister style...
she was of Home Alone Age.)

We were in total shock.
well, at least I was.
The Brianna with brown hair 

was not the Brianna we knew.

where did she go?

I tried not to freak out in a BIG way. 

I hoped she would quickly come back to the 

blonde side... 

all on her own.

After a few days of walking around as a brunette…

Bri found out that 

Blondes really do have more fun…

and wanted her yellow hair (as she used to call it) back.

Anywhooo……..

On Breezy Bri's birthday,
I often use the 
Jerry McGuire line
Brianna "completes us"

she just does.

But  
instead...

I'll affirm..

Brianna 
is the 

grand slam of our 

blue, green, brown, clear = grand slam

Manomet beach walk.

And trust me,

in this family...

that's says A LOT.

Happy Birthday Sweet Wish.

The Cloud is the Issue

I don’t want to cloud the issue

but heck,

the cloud is the issue.

I am always under 

a cloud of suspicion 

when it comes to how the cloud operates. 

Ask 100 people to describe how it works 

and most aren’t entirely sure…

except Christian. 

He has described it to me more than a few times 

and at the end of the convo I say "Yea…got it."  

When Nope…don’t got it. 

Millennials get clouds.  

Boomers get Millennials 

to help them with the cloud.

I do know that a cloud stores data.  

Yada yada yada.

Can’t fool me.  

But how? It's a mystery. 

It’s like presto…it's sucked into thin air. 

Apparently I've been putting stuff on a cloud.

I just hope I’ve been putting it on the right cloud 

and not one of those cumulous clouds 

that will make rain and 

wash away all my stored stuff. 

Cuz you know my stuff is really important.

And please tell me…

how does a cloud get full? 

I was thinking if we could dump

the word “Cloud”  

and use

“box” or even  “drawer”…

I would totally understand how it gets full.  

I’ve got plenty of boxes and drawers at home 

that are dang full.

Anywhoooooo…..

One of my favorite clouds is a 

cloud with a silver lining.  

Like that time it was raining all day long

and I couldn’t go outside….

so I got to “legit” hang on the couch 

all day long.

But my all time favorite is

Cloud Nine.  

That’s where I have been living 

since Ansley was born.  

Love my Cloud Nine

Go ahead Apple,

have your Cloud 

and

I’ll have mine.

Taxed-Off Today

As the ol' saying goes: 

There are 2 things certain in life...

death and taxes.

I might add... 

this deathly blog on taxes.

I hope you don’t find this blog too taxing to read.

I tried to keep it to the short form.

If it is… sorry. 

$0.00 refund due you.  

You are, however, allowed 1 personal exemption per blog.

And any deductions taken without Kat authorization 

are done so 

Under Penalty of Law.

Paying taxes are a real mondo drag…

no one digs giving up their bread to The Man. 

Catch my drift?

(Not sure why tax day brings out my inner 70’s self.)

It is impossible to avoid, 

escape or 

shake 

the IRS, 

without risking

life, 

limb, 

and liberty

so you gotta 

pay up, to shut them up

or 

you’ll be down the creek without a shit or a paddle.

I think it's about time Uncle Sam 

stopped pointing fingers and 

got a job of his own.

Anywhoooo…….

I thought I would pass on this little nugget of tax history.

Apparently in the 11th Century

Lady Godiva had her own issues with taxation.

Lady Godiva was deeply upset 

(taxed off)

with her husband Leofric, Lord of Coventry 

over the oppressive taxes he had levied on the citizens.

He told his wife 

“You will have to ride naked through Coventry before I change my ways.”

And she did just that. 

She stripped off her clothes and 

rode her horse naked through the marketplace 

wearing nothing 

but her long flowing hair to cover herself.

It was a noble and unselfish act.

(And to think…I thought she was just an exhibitionist.) 

Her husband stayed true to his word and reduced taxes.

Before Lady Godiva rode into town 

she commanded the townspeople to stay inside and not peek …

at her nakedness…

as she rode by.

They all obliged.

 except for Tom…

good ole Tom took a peep.

So as you file your taxes...  

think of

Lady Godiva

and 

Peeping Tom 

aka Uncle Sam…

...And ask yourself,

would you ride butt naked through town to lower your taxes?

Hell yes I would.

I just need to find some hair extensions.

Parallel Parking Virtuoso

When it comes to having skills…

some folks have 

mad, 

rad,

 and Olympiad skills 

doing incredible things.

Some have skills

flying planes, painting landscapes, and walking like a ninja 

which is quite impressive.  

I ,on the other hand, (and foot) 

have tad skills…

unless of course you are talking 

Parallel Parking.

Then, my friends…

I go to the head of the class and leave you all behind 

in the back  

with the chuckle head kids who aren't paying attention.

I’ve always prided myself on the ability to parallel park.

I could very well be a 

Parallel Parking Virtuoso.

Okay, I had to dig deep to find my mad skill 

(need a shovel ova here) 

but when it comes to parking a 4 wheel vehicle in a tight ass spot…

I’m your girl.

If parallel parking was a competitive sport at the Olympics…

I believe I would be a major contender. 

Move over Michael Phelps…

this Kat could out gold you 

and make a splash on the cover of Parallel Parking Divas Magazine.

I learned and honed my parallel parking craft 

when I was newly out of college and working at Bridgeport Hospital in CT.  

My talent was mainly out of necessity.  

Necessity is the mother of 

invention, 

inspiration, 

innovation and 

pauperism.

The monthly charge for parking in the lot across from the hospital…

didn't fit my soup and beans budget.  

So I had to park on the city streets surrounding the hospital.  

So every day around 6 am B. C. (Before Coffee)

 I had to squeeze my blue Datsun B210 into the tightest spots imaginable.   

I admit…

from time to time I get really cocky 

and I like to boast about my skills to PaulA. 

I particularly like challenging PaulA to a parallel park off. 

(throwdown...this Saturday...you and me ....downtown Nashville.)

Whenever he passes on a parallel parking spot... 

I can't help heckling him.

is that bad?

Anywhooooooo…..

The other day, 

back from a Target run, 

I used my mad skills and 

pulled the car into a tiiiight spot between two cars.  

In one attempt.

The Parallel Parking Virtuoso strikes again.

All cool until

 I had to move from the spot.

Apparently I was a liiittttttle close to the mailbox.

If "closest to the mailbox" was an event...

I would have won.  For sure.

There was no way I could get the car out 

without scratching it against the mailbox.

What's a Kat to do?

Put my tail between my legs and 

ask PaulA to use his skills 

to get me out of that jam of a pickle.

Currently I'm done bragging about my 

parallel parking virtuosity.

Now I'm on to 

showing-off my other mad skill...

mad skill or just mad?

2 finger whistling.

Stay tuned...

it's quite impressive.

Happy Birthday Colin

Happy Birthday to Colin

born on the most romantic day of the year...

a day of 
cupid, cards, candy,
dinners, diamonds, dates,

roses, romance and don't forget
RESERVATIONS.

Colintine’s Day

Colin was due to enter this world on February 13th 

but just missed that day.

At 5:30 am on 2/14/888 he arrived…

Oops there he is.

Enter Colin 
stage right…..

right smack dab in the middle of my heart.  

Colin had me at waahhh, waahhh. 

With a birthday on Valentine's Day, 

we could have named Colin

Valentino or Valentine, 

but we spared him a lifetime of tee hees and guffaws

plus his name was just as heartfelt.

 We had recently seen the movie "Oxford Blues" with Robe Lowe and 

a character in it (not Rob Lowe)…

was named Colin.  

I loved “Colin” 

the moment I heard the name

and I loved Colin 

the moment I saw his face.

Anywhooooo……

Looking at that sweet boy’s face…

I used to think about his future.

Que sera sera

Whatever will be, will be
the future's not ours to see...

My little guy growing up, 

so fun, funny, happy, energetic and loving...

will he be...

a body builder

a ship's Captain

a comedian ala Steve Martin style

Speaker of the House

an entrepreneur

a Suburban Cowboy

a musician (with bass face)

Fast Forward...

All these years later he grew into
what matters most....

what's in his heart...
and

the best son, 

grandson, brother, nephew, uncle, friend 
and now 

fiance (yay)

you could ever hope for.  

Today is about celebrating Colin.

Valentine’s Day may be along for the ride…
riding shotgun…

but I am banishing Valentine's Day 
to the backseat.

Happy Birthday Colin