The Super Bird, Turkducken

Apparently this Thanksgiving…

I could have had a turkducken.

Instead of a turkey…gobble gooble gooble…

I could have feasted on a turkducken....gobble, quack, cluck.

three birds in one...

Tom Turkey, Donald Duck, and Chicken Little.

If you are familiar with a turkducken, raise your wing.

The turkducken looks like a turkey...on the outside...

but inside....

there are two other birds quacking and clucking to get out.

When I first heard about the Super Bird...

the triple threat of birds...

I cried fowl.

It didn’t fly with me.

The thought of a triple stuffed bird brought on a triple response of...

shock/terror/nausea.

The de-boned chicken...

jammed into a de-boned duck...

rammed into a de-boned turkey...

reminded me of Russian Nesting Dolls, in poultry form.

Anywhooooooooo………

Maybe there are advantages to food combos.

Hmmm...maybe for next Thanksgiving I’ll work on some new side dishes to accompany the turkducken.

I’m thinking of mashed potatoes infused with gravy...grashed potatoes...

or squash cooked inside stuffing...squaffing.

With a turkducken, grashed potatoes and squaffing...

comes fewer dirty dishes.
A Bonus.

Shop 'Til You Drop

THE Season is here.

Shopping Season...

the season that separates the casual shopper from the serious/lunatic shopper.

There are many bargain shoppers who haul ass at the crack of dawn on Black Friday

(pun intended.)

These shoppers have the heart and soul for sales.


And then there are serious/lunatic shoppers who are also in it for the bargains,
but also for the sport and competition.

They are In it to Win it.

This year...the competition started earlier

with some stores opening at 9 and 10 pm on Thanksgiving.

Shoppers who hit stores on Thanksgiving have either had enough of their family...

or determined to bring home the bargain.

Shopping in these circles...aint for the faint of heart.

Between the stampedes and pepper spray ...

you have to be ready for battle.

(gives new meaning to the expression...shop 'til ya drop.)

Anywhooooooooooooo....................

I’m not sure how anyone has the energy to leave the couch for a store on Thanksgiving.

At 9 pm I was just feeling the burn of a tryptophan induced coma couch rub.

The idea of leaving a warm, candle lit house with my family

and entering a cold brick-and-mortar store of steely eyed strangers ready to tangle,

over a tv deal...not appealing.

Besides why not wait until today... cyber Monday....

a day of online shopping deals.

The virtual mall has its advantages...

you don’t have to come face-to-face with the serious/lunatic shoppers.

I’m thinking of becoming a cyber shopper...

or invest in a suit of body armor.

Old school shopping has become way too competitive for this Kat.

License Revoked

Thanksgiving 2011 is over…

another food fest for the history books.

The holiday is officially over when everyone is feeling fat and happy…

and I have put away my Thanksgiving Day folder.

yes, I have a folder where I write down who brought what,
and who ate how much.

(Okay, I may be anal retentive, but I don't want to talk foul when talking turkey.)

Anywhooooooo..….

My license has been revoked.

My OFFICIAL License to Eat

(Don’t worry, I still have the license that allows me to be hell-on-wheels.)

Name: FatKat

Eyes: Bigger than my Stomach

Weight: MYOB

Age: MYOB

My access privileges for carte blanche turkey-out sessions were rescinded...
after numerous rounds ...
'round the buffet.
and after a turkey, stuffing, cranberry sandwich...a couple hours later.

I had hoped I would be granted an extention…
maybe another month through the holidays…
but because I had abused and misused my license during the Thanksgiving holiday…
it was revoked.

Maybe Thanksgiving 2012 will bring a new license...
with extended gluttony privileges.

I never liked my 2011 license pic,
anyway.

Happy Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is here. 

Time to give Thanks.

I want to start by saying...

I am so thankful for my AMAZING family

and

end by saying...

I am so thankful for my AMAZING blog readers.

Anywhoooooooo.........................

Let the Carving begin....

Carve the turkey

Carve out room for pie

Carve out time with family

and

Carve out time on the couch

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

NBA Dead Ball

Maybe you haven't noticed...

but the only competition going on in the NBA right now...

is between the owners and the players.

The most court play we've seen as spectators is in the court of law.

Because the players could not come to an agreement with the owners

on recent points....

the players threw up a full court press defense.

Any hope of either side finding a common ground was blocked...

making an agreement far from a layup.

Alas, the NBA LOCKOUT continues.

There was hope for an outside shot...

with maybe an ally oop at the buzzer....

but with the players currently disbanding the union and heading to court...

a compromise is not a slam dunk.

Anywhooooooo............

There has been too much goal tending on both sides.

Everyone is guarding

their own interests without working on an assist to help end the lockout.

They should all stop the dribble....

and meet in the middle...with a jump ball.

Even though both the players and the owners are aggressively busy

transitioning

between offense and defense in a court of law...

fans are still hoping a turnover might be possible.

As far as I see it...

both the owners and players are in foul trouble with their fans.

I'm not really sure what is preventing both sides to rebound

and move forward from the backcourt,

but I'm sure it involves $$$.

I say, end the impasse...

with a give and go

before the entire basketball season is lost.

If I could...

I would give both the players and owners Technicals...

and give the fans

a couple of Free Throws at them both.

Sweet Ransom

Okay, I admit it.

I was caught stealing candy from a baby.

Well…technically, not from a baby, a 10 year old.

And technically we are related.
so I wasn't stealing from a stranger.

Can I help it if my niece had a 2 ton bag of Halloween candy

calling my sweet name…

within arms reach?

While my niece was at school.....

I lifted as many candy bars as I could get my grubby hands on
and stashed them in my purse.

And then I was caught…in the act…by her mom (my sister)…aka Sistersledge.

I explained to Sistersledge…that it was actually good that I was stealing her candy…

think of the dental bills… think of the 4 walls she would be bouncing off.

I not only was saving Sistersledge money, but sanity.

Anywhoooooooo…………

Because Storm Alfred had left us in the dark for days,
there was no trick-or-treating in our neighborhood.

And to add to the tragedy…
I hadn’t previously purchased any candy (normally a wise move).

I had candy on the brain and opportunity in hand.

Clearly I had no choice.......but to....
hold her bag ransom.

(this. could. get. ugly.)

Dear RUNT,

This is a WHATCHAMACALLIT
ransom note.

I advise you to not be a Dum Dum…or an AIR HEAD
so do exactly as I say.

Do not contact any LIFESAVERS.
Zero people can help you,
not even the 3 MUSKETEERS.

When I am GOOD AND PLENTY ready …

you will get your candy back.


Instead of asking for a 100 GRAND,

I’m asking for MOUNDS of your candy...NOW AND LATER.

After you connect all the DOTS…you will get your candy bag back.
You will notice that after I make my SKOR…
your bag will be A LOT lighter.

CHUCKLES,

KIT KAT

(wait, whooooo's the 10 year old?)

Another Time

There are some folks who could have easily survived and thrived during a different era...

another time gone by bye.

That would have been Pilgrim PaulA.

I came to this conclusion while watching PaulA cut down a big tree

with just a hand saw.

As he sawed, sweated, and grunted  (and I sipped ice tea)...

I could easily picture him (minus the ugly black hat and beard)
thriving during the Colonial Period.

Then I thought about those poor saps

who wouldn't have made it through week one of the colonial period.

Ummm...That would have been me.

I NEVER would have thrived.

Maybe I would have survived...barely alive and Oh,so deprived.

Anywhoooo....

I know what I’m talking about….

I have been to Plimoth Plantation and watched how the colonists used to do it.

(you know what i mean.)

A pilgrim’s life was not an easy one.

(yes, sistersludge...that is the original spelling for Plymouth.)

Plimoth Plantation replicates the pilgrim’s life during the 1600's…

and keeps everything true to the time period.

The people you meet are dressed in costume portraying actual residents in daily life…

growing food, making soap, and milking cows.

The day I visited,

someone's cell phone started blowing up.

The blacksmith asked, "What is that ringing sound I'm hearing?

A kid yelled out, "It's a cell phone."

The blacksmith looked puzzled, "Cell phone? What's that?"

So...it's all pretty authentic on Plimoth Plantation...

that is, if later...

you don't catch the blacksmith behind his workshop

on his iPhone calling in his takeout lunch order.

BUSTED...pilgrim dude.