No Pope Today

The First Conclave Has Spoken. 

The first round of balloting has taken place today, 

ending in black smoke 

up the chimney of the 

Sistine chapel

...signaling to the outside world…

no pope for you.

In order for a new Pope to be elected 

there must be a 2/3 majority… 

that is, 

77 out of the 115 cardinals,

 have to agree.

Let's just hope the cardinals can come to an agreement 

easier and faster 

than our politicians in Washington.

Otherwise, 

the cardinals will be spending 

lots of hard time conclaving...

and 

we shall remain POPEless.

Anywhooo…..

I don't think there is an obvious front runner 

for the next Pope. 

 Will he be African, American, Canadian?

Seeing March Madness begins next week,

 I think it is only fitting that we talk bracketology

to help us figure this out.  

Just as with basketball,

 there are some years when

 it is harder to pick the

 obvious front-runner.   

Will a sleeper cardinal pull off a major upset 

and be elected pope...

and shock everyone?

Stay Tuned.

You gotta love Pope Madness, folks.

The Sweet Sistine

This particular bracket has the

 cardinal from Nigeria 

elected POPE.

So who do you have going to the 

Final Four?

I just hope the winner…

whoever he is...

gets to cut down a net

before he starts his new job.

Papa Joe - 3.07.01

Today marks the 12th anniversary 

of the passing of Papa Joe…

a deeply spiritual man 

whose personality, strength, and love  

is truly missed.

No matter how much you've prepared yourself,

 it is always hard to lose a parent….

one you've looked up to, 

learned from,

 and loved for so long.

And so..

in dealing with grief…

we look to our faith to bring us solace …

to help bring us comfort.

anywhoooo……

I'm remembering this day 12 years ago 

when Papa passed away

and the extreme sadness we all felt. 

I remember walking into Chelsea's bedroom 

when she wasn't there 

and noticing how "Big C" …

who was 15 at the time,

had her Bible, rosary beads, and picture of Papa 

out on her bed.  

At age 15, 

and being a typical tired teenager,

attending Sunday mass every Sunday 

was very much in competition for 

extra morning zzz's.

But 

this day 12 years ago…

it was 

her religion, 

prayers, 

and shared understanding 

 of her grandfather's faith 

that helped her through this difficult day.

Papa, we love you 
and miss you.

Thank You, Jennifer Lawrence

And the "Thank You" goes to

Jennifer Lawrence

for tripping up the stairs 

on her way to pick up her Oscar 

at the Academy Awards….

AND

 making us feel like

"movie stars" are 

"regular" people.

Not only did Jennifer win 

"Best Actress"…

but

in my book,

she won the

 "Best trip up the stairs and I'm embarrassed to get up" Award.

When I saw her on the stairs…

I could relate…

put myself in her gown.

Maybe not as "Best Actress," 

and not in that gown,

 but I could totally trip up the stairs.  

I've actually done it countless times.

Back in the day... 

during my freshman year in college 

Our dorm floor handed out awards at the end of the year.
  The awards were decorated paper plates…

with a simple description for each girl. 

i.e.

"cleanest" girl

"dirtiest" girl 

(you know what I mean)

I was the recipient of the 

"Klutzy" award. 

 When "they" handed me the award, 

they said I had the 

"unique talent of tripping up the stairs."

 Hey, it does take a special ability and 
the award was hard earned.

If I tripped going down, 
I would have won 

"Most Broken Bones" Award 

which would have been sooo much easier to win.  

Anywhoooo……

Jennifer Lawrence 

(although very deserving of her award) 

was probably lucky she didn't have 

The Iron Lady, Meryl Streep,
 as competition this year.

And I'm just saying...

I could have given

JenLaw 

some stiff competition in the 

"Klutzy" category.

Just saying.

Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit - March 1

Happy March

I hope you have the 

luck of the Irish 

going for you …

not just

 St. Patrick's Day….

but all month long. 

As my Irish Hubby likes to remind me…

the next best thing to being 

Irish

is marrying 

Irish.

And remember...

Rabbit 

Rabbit 

Rabbit

Anywhoooo…..

This March 1st...

I'm sending out a

 birthday shootout to Diane…

who totally has luck on her side...

as she, too,  

is married to an Irishman.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DIANE

No-No's for a Retired Pope Benedict

Today Pope Benedict XVI is retiring…

hanging up his domed chess piece hat.

checkmate

At age 85, Pope Benedict

stated he was resigning 

"because of advanced age."

Hmmmm...and to think "advanced age" 

hasn't stopped Queen Elizabeth. 

Apparently Pope Benedict will live 
for the next two months 

in a lakeside retreat in the hills of Rome...

until the convent, 
where he will make his new home,

 is finished being renovated.

I'm thinking the Pope might want to 
ask for an extended stay or 
maybe plan a cruise.  

God Knows…

contractors never finish the job when they tell you they will. 
 Is it wrong to tell a white lie 
to the Pope?

Having a Pope onboard  

would be good for all the ships patrons.  
It's always good to have God on your side when cruising...

especial these days. 

He could even turn rough seas into calm Holy Waters.  

I know I'd feel really secure about my trip if I looked out 

and saw 

the Pope on the Poop Deck.

Anywhooo…….

Pope Benedict says he will live

"hidden from the world" 
in retirement.  

And will spend his time in prayer, reflection, and reading. 

Should he take up cruising, 
may I recommend a fast read…
"50 Shades of Grey."

(Note to self: very disrespectful….

keep that up and it will be 50 Shades of Purgatory.)

Retirement is a new concept for the Vatican.   

The last time a pontiff retired was 600 years ago, 

so there is no manual...

no silver linings playbook to work from.  

They'll  have to fly by the seat of their papal chair.

There are, however, a few NO-NO's for the retired Pope...

NO more tweets …

(he found it hard to keep them under 140 characters anyway.)

NO cape …only a simple white cassock

NO red shoes…back to his basic brown

There's no place like Rome.

NO ring...

AND NO fancy Swiss guards…

BUT

I'm pretty sure he will still be able to 

keep his

pope-on-a-rope.

Dear Duncandog Since You've Been Gone

Dear Duncandog,

It's been a year 

since you've been gone.

And

 life just ain't the same.

When I come into the house…

you aren't scampering to the door to 

excitedly greet me.

Oh Boy, I miss you.

Whenever I turn around…

I am not stepping all over you.

Oh Boy, I miss you.

When I drop food on the kitchen floor,

you aren't there cleaning it up with your efficient 
lapping technique.

Oh Boy, I miss you.

When it's bedtime,

you aren't around to hug 
and wish good night.

Oh Boy, I miss you.

Anyboohoo……..

One year 
has passed 

since you've been gone….

but not 
one minute 
has passed 

that you haven't been 
missed.


Boy, Oh Boy, 
I miss you

my furry little friend.

Oscar Material

What did ya think of the Oscars last night?

I thought they were okay at best...

a tad boring in spots.

But it's not like I had other plans 

for an icy cold Sunday night in February.

It dragged….

3 hours and 35 minutes...

and I only dozed off three times.

Lucky for me I didn't miss anything big…just the inconsequential, insipid, and inane parts...

ummm…which was often.

To spice up the night…I dressed for the occasion.

"Tonight i'm wearing a gold skirt/tank ensemble.  

My top is Gap Body and 

skirt is Oscar de La Who Ya Kidding?"

sorry. Lucky you. I Don't have a pic to show you.

Anywhooooo……

Does anyone know what was up with Renee Zellweger?

She had her usual 

I've-just-sucked-on-a-lemon look, 

but something was different.  

Was she smashed?…

or was it simply over botoxification?

I gotta admit, she looked smashing in that dress.

The Jaws Theme 

was perfect for 
getting the long-winded, show-dragging types off the stage.  

It would have been even better 
if a big mechanical shark rose up and pulled 
them off stage…

and to pull Quentin Tarantino off stage

with a lot of blood and gore 

would have been fitting.

As for  the host, Seth McFarlane…

some of his jokes were not so sharp…

and many fell flat.

But musically speaking,

Seth McFarlane was right on Key.

who knew he could sing and dance?

I don't like to be overly critical …but seeing 

Seth is willing to dish out zingers...

he's gotta be able to take some in.

(Admittedly, zingers feel best 

going in the "out" direction.)

His song "We saw your boobs" was …

insensitive…sexist…and 3rd grade boy humor…

perfect from the creator of "Family Guy" and "Ted."

At least he was true to himself.

And Seth, 

please stop with old, tired jokes about

 Rhianna and Chris Brown's tumultuous relationship,

 George Clooney dating younger women and

Mel Gibson voicemail rants

Boring.Not. funny.

When 

Captain Kirk appeared overhead…

was he was giving us a true heads up?

There were some points in the show…

where nothing really materialized for Seth……

no matter how hard we wished he was 

beamed up.

ps.  Thank you, Jennifer Lawrence,
for tripping up the stairs to get your award.