Usernames, Passwords, and Pins

Usernames,

Passwords,

And

Pins...

Oh shit MY.

Does anyone have any tricks for remembering usernames, passwords, and pins?

  What do you do to keep them all straight?

Maybe you’re lucky to be born with a pornographic…whoops….

photographic memory.

I don’t have a photographic memory.

The only number I have committed to memory 

is my Mastercard number...

and that number will forever be burned

in my internal memory drive.

I have tried keeping the same usernames and passwords to make cyberlife easier…

but over the years,

it has gotten increasingly more difficult.

Sometimes the username I choose is already is in use,

so I'm forced to come up with a new one.

I was shocked to discover that

“Fatassblogger”

was already taken. 

These days the 'systems' require your password to be

"sophisticated"...

to contain atleast an uppercase letter and symbol. 

I hate it when my password is more sophisticated than I am.

(Note to self:  Try wearing a beret.  Berets scream sophistication.)

Once after I had few (of many) negative experiences with Comcast...

I changed my Comcast password to

"ComcastSucks! "

uppercase, lowercase and a symbol. 

It just oozed "sophistication."

It’s a good idea to choose usernames and passwords 

that have personal meaning/releavance to you.

I easily identify with

"Katwoman"…

but when I’m feeling extra spectacular about myself…

I opt for my inner...

"Wonderwoman.”

Then there are times I simply go with versions of Kat.

"Katscratch", "Katsup", "Katburglar", "koolKat", Katfish."

I particularly like…"don’tlettheKatoutofthebag"…

but the computer always spits that one back at me. 

With so many Kat configurations...

over time I’m not sure which Kat is where it’s at.

Anywhoooo..............

My ingenious trick to keeping everything straight

is a little book where I list all 47 username/password/pin combinations.

I’m not sure if this is a good idea…

but I keep the book next to my computer.

That way I can find it.  

Apparently, you can too. 

Now that I think about it…

leaving the book next to the computer is probably like

giving the prisoner the keys to his own jail cell...

ala Otis Campbell style,

the town drunk, who used to let himself in and out of jail in "Mayberry RFD." 

(For you youngsters...watch TV LAND)

Folks just might be able to let themselves in and out of my business.

"The  Next Big Thing” 

in cyberworld would be...

for someone to come up with a solution to

the username/password/pin Oh Crap problem.....

until then....

Will the person using the username

“Fatassblogger”...

kindly give it up?

If not, I will be forced to get

sophisticated...

with

“Fatassblogger2!”

Out-SCREAMING

This weekend I watched

Maria Sharapova

outplay

outmatch

outscream

Sara Errani 

in the Women's Final of  the French Open.

Merci

oooh la la

voulez-ous couchez avec moi

Pardone my French, but

that's my extent of the language.

It can get pretty dirty out there on the red clay court...

and I'm not just

talking nasty red dirt all over cute tennis dresses.

I'm talking about the

SCREAMING.

Is it just me?     
The screaming has gotten out of control in women's tennis. 

It has increasingly climbed to new decibels with

Maria Sharapova
at the top of the decibel chart.

"They" say tennis is a game of

"Love"....

but when Maria plays it...

it sounds like
she means

"War." 


Granted, the men also make noises as they exhale,
but keep it down on the decibel scale. 

They make lower grunting sounds....
caveman style. 

"ugga ugga.  

Me got balls and this really big tennis stick

and me gonna beat you with it."

I couldn't help but

chuckle

laugh

roll off the couch in hysterics

listening to Maria's opponent scream back at her. 

Eranni would not be intimidated by Maria's shrieking. 
I swore if you listened carefully enough

you could hear her yelling back...

"Drop Dead."

Anywhoooo.....

It does feel good to let out a good screeeeam.

Maybe we all should occasionally...

Just do it.

I'm long overdue for a good shriek.

  I think the last time I took advantage of a full-bodied scream...

I was in the rally of childbirth...

naturally...
my own labor of

LOVE.

Happy 21st Birthday, Brianna

Happy Birthday

Brianna

Our "Sweet Wishy" is

21 years old

and legal in all 50 states.

woo hoo...Alaska, Alabama...Connecticut......

Right now you might find "Breezy Street"  
in the State of  Bliss.

How quickly the time has flewn

from Bri babyhood to adulthood...

especially when I can picture her so vividly...

our baby girl with the angelic face and disposition. 

It also wasn’t long ago that Bri flew the coop for college

and left PaulA and I with an empty nest...

sooo hard to believe she is now a college senior. 

It seems like only yesterday that Brianna and I took our

"Thelma and Louise Road Trip"

to check out different schools.

We were a couple of crazy chicks

(Young Breezy and Kat)

on the open road...making

U-turns,

K-turns,

and taking P P-turns.

Yep, we were running amuck and a...mire...

a high wire act on 4 tires

visiting different college campuses.

I remember wanting to turn the admissions table on all the colleges we visited.
Believe you me,

I was a fixin' to march into every Admissions Office

and tell them they would be darn lucky to have her.

(I turn country when I get riled up)

and that's because

our "Sweet Wish" is 

"Grade A"...

especially in the subjects that really count.  

Anywhooo....

Brianna has ended up with many nicknames over the years.

Bri, Wish, Sweet Wish, Wishy, Wish Queen, Wish Queen of America,

Breezy, Young Breezy, Breezy Street.

She received the nickname "Wishy"

from the Cinderella song I used to sing to her before bed...

"A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes”...

which was then followed-up

(by her request)

with a spirited rendition of

 “Take Me out to the Ballgame.
(and she always sang along.)

If I had known she would someday go to college in Boston

and be a Red Sox fan...I would have sung my favorite Neil Diamond song

and today

her nickname just might be 

“Sweet Caroline.”

I know it sounds strange/corny/bizarro

to quote from an old Tom Cruise movie...

but when I think of Brianna,

I can’t help think of that infamous line from “Jerry Maguire” ....

“Show Me the Money.”

Wait, Not that one. 

“You complete me.”

On 6/5/91...our family was complete. 

"Brianna, you complete US."

There's a celebration going on today...
and you can find it....

on Breezy Street.

Kat's 1000th Blog

Do you hold a record? Any record. 

I’ll even accept your beer chugging record....  but not your rap sheet. 

Your police record is definitely  stretching it.

Today this Kat has reached new heights...

a record

1000 blogs.

(That’s slinging a lot of blog hash over the past 4 and so years.)

I realize my feat (size 6 1/2 )

doesn’t measure up to those who have attainted real records ...

like

Michael Phelps's feat (size 14 )..8 gold medals in a single Olympiad...

Joey Chestnut’s scrumptious record of 62 hotdogs in a single sitting...

and even Sistersludge's family record of 11 ears of corn in a single dinner...

And wouldn’t you know

Queen Eliazabeth

is out there right now
trying to steal my thunder, single handedly. 

Leave it to the Queen Mum to upstage me. 

The Queen’s Diamond Jubilee

and

Kat’s 1000 Jubilee.


Of all times for our two records to coincide and collide.

Okay, a 60 year reign is very impressive...and deserves a royal celebration.

I do realize a

1000 boat flotialla

might trump

1000 blogs. 

but, whatever floats your boat.

There is always someone out there gunning for you...

trying to break your record. 

I distinctly remember the record that I was very proud of in high school.

I felt like crying the day it was broken.

It was the Beatles "White Album" and some clown stepped on it.

Bummer.

Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-da...

life goes on.

Anywhoooooooo……..

You might not be that impressed with my distinctive small feet

and even think I should have my hands tied,
to end my madness.

I say,

“Go ahead tie them together. I’m pretty sure I can type with my nose.

But just don’t take away my blog chair.

I know for a fact, I can’t blog standing up.

All my inspirations come from the rear.”

I rule from by blog chair over random subjects

the same way the queen rules from her royal throne over her subjects.

Bring on the Pomp and the Pagentry...

there's room for the two of us..

I’ve even been practicing my wave.

 

A Toast to myself 

for 1000 blogs...

"May the blog chair always rise up behind me."

Bottoms up."

Happy June 1st

June...

midpoint of the Year...

the attention getter middle child of the family ...

of months.

huh?

Half of 2012 is over ...

which is a scary thought.

Hence,

Alas,

Anywhooo....

 the Scary Rabbits...

are back.

(You were due...

I've let you off easy with adorable bunny rabbits over the last few months.)

Rabbit

Rabbit

Rabbit

May your June not March by so quickly.

Happy June 1st.