Get Lit

Don't cha love holiday decorations?

The lights, garland, blow-up santas?

Some people love to get into the holiday spirit...and decorate it up...

 If you it ain't lit up...then it ain't Christmas.

Then there are those forced into decorating

because the festive someone, who is really into the holiday spirits spirit,

lives in your neighborhood...

and is putting everyone to shame.

So if ya don't want to be out-done, out-matched, or sent to the outhouse...

then you're forced to untangle last year's ball of lights, drink in the holiday spirits spirit

and get lit.

Anywhooo....

There are those who take holiday decorations to another level.

Apparently they can't stop the emerging surging urge to decorate...everything.

Those folks will even decorate things that move.

They'll put their pet dog in holiday attire

AND their pet cars.

I've seen many cars cruising around town decorated with

green wreaths tied to the front bumper...

red bows on side view mirrors...

and gold roping on roof racks.

But the ultimate holiday car decoration is the reindeer.

Today a reindeer,
with some pretty impressive antlers,
sped pass me.

Where are the cops to round up the reindeer, when ya need them?

I gotta say...

a car with antlers

sure gives meaning to the holiday song...

"Grandma got run over by a reindeer."

Words With Alec Baldwin

Playing "Words with Friends" can be addictive.

Just ask Alec Baldwin.

Playing "Words with Friends" can also get you thrown off a plane.

Just ask Alec Baldwin.

I used to play "Words" with my friend, Linnyj.

That girl is a mean competitor.

By mean, i mean fierce...

cuz she sure ain't mean mean...

ya know what I mean?

Last time we were out to dinner,

we had a race to the bathroom...in heels.

Okay, Linnyj won.

But I declared the race a draw.

She didn't say we were racing to the ladies' room.

Let the record stand, I beat her to the men's room.

I had to give the game up...I could see that it's a game that sucks you in.

Who has time for wording, when there's blogging to do?

Besides, if you don't get right back to people with a word....

they're like...."Where's my next word?

Come on Kat, Word, Word me. Word.

They become junkies....

strung out on word.

It's probably a good thing that I quit.

Otherwise, I could have ended up like Alec Baldwin....

another rich, entitled chap, flying FIRST-class,

thinking rules are for Other people.

(Hmmm...part of that sounds good.)

Anywhoooo.......

"Words with Friends" is not a game that should be played by everyone.

Especially if you have anger management/

addiction/

separation from electronic devices issues.

Just ask, Alec Baldwin.

Alec's reaction after being told by the American Airlines attendant to turn off his iPad

proved that he shouldn't be playing.

"Berserk" will get ya

63 points

when played on the Words With Friends "DW" tile

(bonus for using all your letters)

but it will also get ya

a boot in the pants

when played  out in the restroom of an American Airlines flight.

Just ask, Alec Baldwin.

ps. 

I'm pretty sure Alec Baldwin's Words

on Saturday Night Live last weekend earned him

ZERO points
with American Airlines.

Picture Sitting With Santa

'Tis the Season

to sit on Santa's lap

well...maybe

This past weekend I had the pleasure torture

of waiting for a picture to print from a scanner at Walmart.

But lucky for me...

seated nearby was the entertainment...

Santa, himself.

Or a wanna-be Santa.

He definitely wasn't your glitzy, glammed up MALL SANTA...

seated in a big chair in a festively designed North Pole

holding Center Court

with adorable Santa elfs.

This Santa wore a tired old suit...

and was seated on a rickety park bench

with a flimsy cardboard holiday scene set up behind him.

His helper elf  was a frenzied woman in a Walmart vest

from the camera dept.

He definitely was

LOW BUDGET SANTA.

Well, at least I thought so...

and, apparently, so did the kids.

As children strolled by the area with their parents...

Santa would heckle them...

"Hey Kids, come over here...

Come see Santa.

Hey. Hey.

HEY. KID."

He stopped short of twirling his mustache...

and entincing them with,

" Come here little kid. Ya want some candy."

 

The kids would look at their parents with the expression,

 "You gotta be kidding me? You really want me to sit with this guy."

Admittedly, this was fun for me to watch as I waited.

I have a sick sophisticated sense of humor.

Anywhoooo.....

It was a struggle for LOW-BUDGET SANTA to get any business.

Parents seemed perturbed that their kid wouldn't run over and jump on his lap for a picture.

And why would that be?

"Mingling with strangers" is a Big NO-NO in a Kids's Manual to Growing Up...

especially strangers offering candy...

even if it comes in cane form.

They've learned their lesson well. 

All this guy needed was the playful puppy with him

and he would have been the

triple threat of strangers.

I say to these parents...

"Give your kid a pat on the back. Your child should go directly to the Head of the Class."

You never know who or what could be hiding behind that big white beard.

So don't be surprised when little junior and juniorette

freak out having to sit on Santa's lap.

At least you will get a pic to remember..............

And if you want half a chance of getting a picture of your kid with Santa...

for St. Nick's Sake...

at least bring them to the professional Santa

at the mall.

ho ho ho

Electric Gift Idea

It’s getting hot in here,

So take off all your.......

Boy, was it hot in our bedroom last night.

Calm down...Don’t worry...

this blog isn’t going where you might think.

After all, this is NOT an XXX blog site

(triple exceptional blog).

My blog is PG

(pretty good)...at best.

This is about electric heat.

The electric blanket we bought a couple of years ago was not working

(actually it worked perfectly on my side, but I felt sorry leaving PaulA out in the cold)

so I purchased a new one.

I surprised PaulA with the purchase...an early Christmas present.

I snuck upstairs and cranked that sucker up to Level 8 to toast his side of the bed.

(I chose a milder Level 5 for my side.)

PaulA didn’t even have to get in the bed to know his bed was packing heat....

he could feel the heat just standing next to me it.

This new blanket was definintely working.

After I slept a couple of hours on Level 5...this Kat was cooked.

And I’m pretty sure I was cooked evenly...

as I tend to roll around a lot when I sleep.

I had to dial it down two notches...to Level 3...otherwise,

I would have been stuck to the pan blanket when I woke...

and hard to scrape off

without extra elbow grease.

Anywhooo.........

If you are looking for ideas for Christmas presents...

an electric blanket makes a warm gift idea.

But it should come with a Caution Label...

Caution:

Sleeper may become
OVERCOOKED

pig-in-a-blanket.

     

And the Winner Is

Whenever I buy a lottery ticket...

I feel sorry for the poor souls standing behind me in line,

waiting to throw their money away on lotto tickets...

when I’ve already got the winning ticket in my back pocket.

Woo hooo...Suckas

I’m not sure why, but for some reason...

I instantly think I’m an instant WINNER.

 Is it just me?

By the time I get back into my car...I have already spent my winnings...

a car

(for every day of the week)....

a personal jet
(for every trip of the week)

a personal chef.

(for every meal of the week.)

Anywhooo........

The 254 million dollar jackpot winner

of the Connecticut Powerball Lottery finally came forward.

And the winner is...

Three men (and a baby?)  from an Asset Management Company in Greenwich, CT.

How convenient...the money managers now have major money to manage.

Heck, even their a$$et$ have a$$et$.

I found it interesting to watch the 3 men as they collected their GIANT check.

Oddly enough, they had NO reaction.

Huh?

They were given a lump sum check for 108 million dollars (after tax). 

And Zero reaction.

I’ve seen people get more excited about a gift certificate to Applebees.

Where was the wildily jumping up and down, crying, laughing, freak-out session?

(Oh, that’s my fantasy.)

There is a rumor that the men are a front for an anonymous winner.

No surprise there.

What 3 grown men...buy ONE ticket together?

Who has a third of a cent?

So people are pissed.

Pissed Off.

They think the quarter of a billion dollar winner was already rich...

and now richer....“the rich get richer.”

I’m not sure why it matters.

Who Cares.

You lost.

Get over it.

Maybe the winner is staying out of the spotlight,

(not because of their wealth),
but maybe to keep

distant relatives,

distant friends,

and distant ex-spouses

from suddenly popping into the picture.

I know I would have a hard time staying anonymous.

My shiny seven cars,

shiny personal jet,

and shiny well-fed ass...

would be hard to hide.

You would instantly know this Kat was a WINNER.

Woo hooo Suckas

Behaving Badly

"They" say negative attention is better than no attention at all.

 That may be why Lindsay Lohan is always in the news for doing something stupid.

If she didn’t keep coming up with new antics that land her ass in jail...

she wouldn’t be newsworthy.

Young kids will occasionally subscribe to the “attention-at-all-costs" philosophy.

“Look at me. I’m about to hit my baby sister in the head.”

 “Hey, Ma... I just cut my own bangs. Now I have horns.”

But when ADULTS resort to negative attention to get noticed...

well, that’s just plain juvenile.

That scenario played out after Storm Alfred took down trees and power lines

and left us without power for over a week.

A few sad sacks in our town wanted the Power Company’s attention sooo badly

 they were willing to act badly.

Anywhooooooooooo........

Case in Point...

Adults
Behaving Badly......

A 63 year-old woman called the Power Company

and said she had a gun pointed to her head and was going to shoot herself.

A 33 year-old man threatened the Power Company

that he was going to shoot or harm any workers he saw in his area.

And their childish antics worked.

Yesireee....These juvenile adults got the Power Company’s attention and POWER...

lights,

heat,

warm food,

and a warm shower...

right after getting arrested.



Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit

Another First …

Another Month….

Another First of the Month..

Which brings my good luck charm…

in holiday form.

Rabbit

Rabbit

Rabbit

The exact origin of this superstition is unknown,

although it has appeared in print as early as 1922.

Wiki...Quote...

The man in the brown hat laughed,

“I thought everybody knew ’Rabbit, rabbit, rabbit.’

If you say ‘Rabbit, rabbit, rabbit’

—three times, just like that—

first thing in the morning on the first of the month, even before you say your prayers,

you’ll get a present before the end of the month.”

And Kat in the brown hat laughed,
"if you’re extra good….

Santa Rabbit will bring you more than one present ."